F*ck You, I&#x27;m Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

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69. Best Indie Artist - Killy Dwyer

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

02/08/21 • 92 min

Happy 69th episode of FYIS!!!!! You know what that means, right? Today, we are going to land on the moon again! We will let you know how it goes. Anywho, this week we introduce another Kelly into the mix! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS KELLY PARTAY!?!? Kelly and Lindsey sit down with Kelly 'Killy' Dwyer and chat literature, pageants, and dog birthday parties! Hire her for your pup's next birthday party! Your doggo will not be disappointed. We start the day off in Social Studies class where we learn what Social Studies even is, and that Australia may have had (definitely did not) a little-known (because it's not true) connection to the Louisiana Purchase! Then, because Killy mentioned that she participated in pageants when she was younger, Lindsey wrote a game (for what class, who even knows) about pageants. In real time she is informed that Killy meant Christmas pageants which Lindsey knows nothing about because she's Jewish, so...oh well! Let's learn about beauty pageants! At Recess we talk about Killy's songwriting passion that she turned into a business, and play the incredible ditty Lindsey commissioned Killy to write about Kelly for her birthday! There are mimes involved. We don't explain why, but we promise one day we will bring back those damn mimes. Then Kelly takes us to Dance class and shows off her "primitive squat" in honor of Killy's love of modern dance, and Lindsey rounds out the day with Literature class where we play a game called, "That's Litttttttttttttt". Please use a ton of vocal fry when you say that, thank you. Will the ladies drink a bunch of "GoGo Juice" to hype themselves up? Will they remember anything about Dante's Inferno? Will a Kelly win the game? If you were good at math you'd know that there is better chance that a Kelly will win than a Lindsey will win, so we say to set your bets on the Kelly's. MATH! Rate, review, subscribe and 69999999 baby! Find Killy: https://www.instagram.com/killymockstar/ https://www.instagram.com/doggotainment/ https://www.patreon.com/killythekid

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Show theme provided by Mike Etten:

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BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD:

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105. Future Lady Doctor - Jackie Brubaker

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

10/17/21 • 84 min

What a pleasure it is to have this week's guest, the one and only, Jackie Brubaker. She's an activist, she's a baker, she's a musical theatre actress, she's a podcaster.... she's now she's a LADY DOCTOR!!! Listen to find out how she becomes one.

We start our episode throwing it back to Jackie's high school days where she shares a #metoo story that is so moving and so important you'll be shocked that it's on a silly little podcast like FYIS.

Because Jackie wanted to be a doctor but her lack of math skills got in the way, we start our school day off in Doctor class (Yeah, I said it) where we learn about famous lady doctors, or just doctors who happen to be ladies. However you want to put it.

Then Kelly attempts to teach us about science and Jackie blows us all away with her knowledge of the Bonobos. IYKYK.

Then at recess, thanks to a game of MASH, we learn about Jackie's future, marrying Roger Rabbit, living in a mansion and living her best life.

Then Lindsey leads an as-painless-as-possible Math class because Jackie may or may not have hired someone to take Statistics for her in college. Cannot deny or confirm, sorry.

Then Kelly takes us home with a Halloween quiz because DID YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S SPOOKY SEASON AND WE WON'T STOP UNTIL NOVEMBER. K, thanks.

Will Jackie win this game because she pulled some serious knowledge out of her butt and impressed us all? YUP. That happens.

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https://www.jackiebrubaker.com/

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For resources, support, and to find out how you can help survivors of sexual assault:

https://www.rainn.org/

https://metoomvmt.org/

15. Mike B vs. Kaitlin Parry

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

01/27/20 • 83 min

Kelly and Lindsey invite DJ Mike B (@theemikebdj) and photographer Kaitlin Parry (@shootpeople_) over to talk about Katy Perry's nunnery and the history of cat photos. They learn about the many dangers of vintage and modern photography, that Yorkshire and New York have a lot of similar-sounding town names in “Boarding Pass or Fail”, and that Mike is a late 90’s EDM tune-naming savant in music class. Plus a visit from the former President of D.A.R.E. herself to teach them all about the dangers of not saying no. (Spoiler: It’s Lindsey. Lindsey was the President of her local D.A.R.E.)

Check out our guests:

Mike B:

https://www.instagram.com/theemikebdj/

Kaitlin Parry:

http://kaitlinparry.com/

https://www.instagram.com/shootpeople_/

Check out the podcast Instagram feed @KellyandLindsey (www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/)

Follow Kelly: @Kelly_WallaceBarnOwl (www.instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl/)

Follow Lindsey: @LindseyGentile (www.instagram.com/lindseygentile/)

Editing provided by Phil at www.micomPODre.com

107. Ever Mainard Was The High School Mascot

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

11/02/21 • 71 min

Writer, actor and comedian Ever Mainard is on the show this week and it's a real fun one so get ready! It's also officially November, which is Native American History month so Lindsey starts our school day off in American History Class where we learn about some kickass Native Americans that made this country what it is today. What do you know about Buffalo Calf Road Woman? If you don't know, now you know. Well, after you listen to the episode you'll know.

Then, because Ever was the mascot in high school, the bee (Honeybee? Bumblebee? We don't remember), Kelly takes us to Bee Class. Can you name two diseases or conditions that bee stings may have some health benefits for? Can you?

Then, at recess, Ever tells us a story that we've named "Shoeless in Texas". You'll have to listen to the story to find out what happens to their feet and why they will never got barefoot again. Actually, they probably will. IT'S TEXAS!

After recess Lindsey brings us to AG class where we play "You Look Like A Farmer In Those Clothes" and learn all things farming. Do you know what kind of milk brown cows produce? We seriously hope you say the right answer but just know that 7% of the adult population in the United States thought the answer was chocolate milk. Sigh.

Kelly ends our school day with a Mascot quiz where we find out what mascot is the oldest, what mascot died in 2020 and what was up with the real Captain Morgan.

Will Lindsey crawl her way back to the middle? Will Kelly prove she's got the smarts? Will Ever outwit us all? You'll just have to listen to find out.

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106. Spine Whips and Nipple Belts with Mike Malandra

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

10/25/21 • 28 min

Happy Halloweeeeeennnnie! Because this week is our final Halloween episode and spooky season is coming to an end, we bring in Halloween expert and horror movie enthusiast Mike Malandra to talk all things spooky with us!

Mike is so obsessed with Halloween, he joined us from a car while on vacation. Now that's some creepy commitment!

Lindsey leads the game 'Happy Halloweenie, You Weenie' where she quizzes Kelly and Mike about popular Halloween costumes, candies and the truth about candy corn. Love or hate it? We need to know.

Kelly then quizzes Mike and Lindsey about some classic horror movies. Will Lindsey prove she knows nothing about any kind of movie that isn't a dumb comedy because she was raised that way, or will she pull some very specific Troll 2 trivia out of her nipple belt (IYKYK) at the last moment for the win?! Probably both!

Happy Halloween Kiddos! Be safe, eats lots of candy, have some cider and enjoy the last bit of this spooky season, will ya?

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51. Legally Brunette - Nazanin Nour

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

10/02/20 • 83 min

Happy Monday to us all! This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down with actor, writer and judge on 'Persia's Got Talent', Nazanin Nour. In honor of Nazanin going pre-law (smarty pants) at George Mason University, we ease our students into the school day with some light ethnic cleansing talk with Kelly in Government class. Jeez. Louise. Thanks Miss Kelly for starting the day off right! Maybe we could have had our coffee first before we dove into such a dark, dark subject? Just a thought! Lindsey tries to lighten up the mood in Orchestra class with some fun brass and oboe talk and some sick drum solos with the game, 'Crescendo You Didn't' aka 'Crescendo What You Don’t Know' or whatever she called it. Look, she's trying to keep things snazzy and by the by, it got snazzy AF. We teach Nazanin MASH during recess where we learn that the entire Iranian soccer team looks like they should be starring in a porn we'd like to watch and also that Nazanin was a huge fan of JC from N'SYNC. You can learn a lot about someone from who their favorite boy band member is. While Lindsey approves of her choice, Kelly doesn't know who he is and that's fine too. After recess, we head on over to Literature class where we learn that Oprah has her hands in many pots and also that we know nothing about female authors and we should be ashamed of ourselves. SEND US TO DETENTION! Next up on the newly-inspired Kelly and Lindsey Reading List: 'The Joy Luck Club', 'The Color Purple' and 'Beloved'. Who wants to start a book club with us? We are serious. We then head on over to Oceanography to play the game, 'Salty AF' where we learn about vampire squids, dirty fish sex and some surprising facts about bodies of water within bodies of water. Whaaat? It will blow your mind. Do we remember those facts now? Probably not, but our minds were blown and that's what matters. Nazanin ends our school day with a game all about Iranian culture where Kelly and Lindsey prove they know next to nothing about anything but themselves and they now feel like they need to go back to school. Welp, I guess we already knew that. Will Nazanin show us that she is not only more competitive than us, but that she is also way smarter? Yes. Just, yes. Follow Nazanin: https://www.instagram.com/iamnazaninnour/ Check out her political initiative 'Know Your Ballot': https://www.instagram.com/knowyourballot_ca/ Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/

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Show theme provided by Mike Etten:

BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD:

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

VOTE!

104. Formerly Known As Columbus Day

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

10/08/21 • 35 min

Goodbye Christopher Columbus and HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO Native Americans! Do you know what state was the first state to recognize Indigenous Peoples' Day instead of Columbus Day? We will give you a hint. It's long and liberal and rhymes with Palifornia.

After Kelly leads us in a History quiz all about Indigenous Peoples' Day, Lindsey continues our Spooky Season celebration with a quiz all about ghosts. Here's a ghost riddle just for fun. What kind of roads do ghosts like to drive on? Answer this riddle in a comment and don't forget to give us five stars while you're at it.

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Association on American Indian Affairs (AAIA)

If you want to support the Native American community this Indigenous Peoples' Day, check out the links below!

Native American Capital (NAC)

Women Empowering Women for Indigenous Nations (WEWIN)

Native American Rights Fund (NARF)

103. Rock Out With Your OCT Out

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

10/04/21 • 48 min

Happy Spooky Season you little critters! It's time to bust out your sweaters, carve some pumpkins and snack on some circus peanuts.

And because nothing is more fall than pumpkin spice everything, Lindsey does a pumpkin spice quiz to get your palate ready. Did you know that Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte has 90,000 Twitter followers? Don't hate. But also isn't that dumb.

And because it wouldn't be October with Oktoberfest, we end this episode with an Oktoberfest game where we chat about german beer, pretzels and lederhosen. We also find out that Oktoberfest isn't even in October but actually in September and this is why everything is horrible and everything is a lie.

Happy Spooky Season you girls and ghouls.

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https://www.salon.com/2021/09/02/abortion-funds-and-beyond-here-are-the-best-ways-to-help-texans/

Also!!!! Abortion Funds and Beyond: Here are the ways you can help Texans.

And if you can, please donate to the Afghan Women's Mission: http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/

102. Scout Durwood Was A Pool Rat

F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

09/27/21 • 69 min

Light up a doobie cause this one is a fun little doozy. We have actor, comedian, cabaret star and former Susan Miller fan....Scout Durwood aka Lady Scountington!!!!!! Hey girl, hey!

Because Scout is living that #vanlife she joins us from a van pulled over on the side of the road on her way to Palm Springs! That's California traffic and that's commitment!

Because Scout is originally from Kansas City, Kansas, Kelly starts our school day off in Geometry class where we learn a lot about tornados because apparently that's a thing there.

Then, because Scout starred in the MTV show Mary + Jane we go to D.A.R.E and learn all about drugs, man. You’ve played a game on FYIS but have you played a game on FYIS on Weeeeeeeed?

Kelly then takes us to Student Government, although her class doesn't really have anything to do with Student Government and is more about strange awards shows in honor of Scout being nominated for a Streamy Award. Just go with it.

Then Lindsey ends our day in Fashion class where we learn all about Coco Chanel? Why, you ask? Well, because miss Chanel was responsible for the famous quote, "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off." And why is this significant? Because Scout's visual album (that you should WATCH NOW) is called 'Take one thing off' and it's AMAZING! Link below.

Will Scout school us from a van parked in the middle of no where? Will Kelly want to join the pool rats? Will Lindsey know anything about tornados? No. She's more of a hurricane aficianado.

Ps. Special shout out to Susan Miller. We hope the stars have aligned and you're eating lots of non-anemic omelets these days.

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https://www.instagram.com/scoutdurwood/

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