Family Sanity

Everyone is dealing with Quarantine in their own way. If your child is acting out or you feel like you are constantly in a power struggle, try utilizing empathy. Consider why your child is in this state and allow for her to have these feelings and then address them when things are calmer. Showing empathy is respectful and will allow for a deeper connection with your child.
TRANSCRIPT
Alright I’m going to be honest here. When I was a little girl, I got spanked a lot. At least, that’s how I remember it. Now that I’m a parent I can see how it is so easy to lose your cool and how kids somehow find the perfect ways to get under your skin. But that shouldn’t fuel the way you’ve chosen to parent. There are a lot of variables but my experience definitely influenced the way I’ve chosen to raise my kids.

I am a firm believer in empathetic parenting. When we put ourselves in our children’s shoes discipline takes on a different form. Rather than correcting or fixing, you are supporting and nurturing. This is so critical right now during this time of isolation and complete deprivation of life as we knew it. Kids are so vulnerable right now and it is more important than ever to show empathy and respect.

I’ve been needing to remind myself of this often. Being cooped up all day with no breathing room makes it hard to deal with everyone. On the days I have a short fuse or things aren’t going how I want, its easy to snap at the smallest of offenses. I have to keep reminding myself to be empathetic. My kids haven’t seen anyone in weeks. School was abruptly stopped. Their life is so different and the adjustment period is not easy for anyone and it also looks different for everyone. Some kids may be acting out, some may be picking fights with their siblings. Some may be in complete defiance mode. This is frustrating. But by putting yourself in your child’s shoes, you are giving them respect. Respect and understanding that its ok to make mistakes, and its ok to not know how to deal with these changes.

So my quick tip today which is a big for me is that the next time your child does something they shouldn’t, first ask yourself why, why did he do that? And then adjust your response to show respect and nurturing instead. If there is a deeper issue you can identify, try working on it when things are calm. Remembering that your child is going through a hard time and being a buffer for those feelings will help make the transition more tolerable for you both.

During quarantine we grieve our loss of freedom. tI realized I went through the stages of grief these last few months and I've finally reached acceptance. Today's quick tip is to think about something positive that would otherwise not have happened if you weren't quarantined. Finding the silver lining can help get to acceptance and help you grow during this difficult time.
TRANSCRIPT
These last few days seem to have been better. Not necessarily easier, but there seems to be a kind of acceptance of the new normal. I’ve gotten used to my husband being around all day, the kids aren’t asking to go to the park as much, and we’ve found a tolerable groove between the housework, childcare and work work. Getting to this acceptance was not easy and I realized that since the COVID-19 quarantine started I went through all the stages common to those of grief. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, despair, and acceptance.

I’m going to walk you through my experience through these stages and see if any resonate with you.

First, denial. Back in early March, I was laughing at the fact that the stores were out of toilet paper. I refused to buy excess hand sanitizer and was even starting to buy into some of the conspiracy theories.

Once I realized this wasn’t a joke. I felt a lot of emotions. But a big turning point for me was when my son’s preschool announced they would be closed for the rest of the year, I was mad. The kind of anger that makes you cry because you don’t know what else to do. This phase lasted a while and it totally spilled into my marriage and family dynamic. I really didn’t know how to cope and it lead me to the bargaining phase.

This it the phase where you still want to be in control so you try compromising and creating illusions. I kept saying this would be over by the end of April. Or I still want to go to the stores with mask on. But once all the schools in Illinois were announced closed the rest of the school year and I realized masks were becoming more of a mandate than a suggestion I got really scared.

So then comes despair. Despair is rough because you are vulnerable. You realize you have no control. Health, income, sanity. It’s all up in the air. And this is a horrible phase to be in but it didn’t last too long for me because I just gave in. The last thing left to do:surrender. Accept that this is what it is. And make do with the reality.

The sense of loss is drowning us right now as a world. Suffering the loss of a person or if someone close to you is sick, its a horrible feeling that has no cure. If your loss is a bit more superficial, like that of your freedom or your food options its still a challenge to deal with and accept. So whatever your situation is, its ok to be grieving. And its ok to be stuck in a certain phase.

Once you have reached acceptance, there is a choice to be made. You can accept what it is and move forward letting the tides take you where they may. Or you can grow in this situation. To do that today’s quick tip is this: find something positive that would never have been possible in your life if there was no COVID-19 quarantine. Are you getting a lot more family time? Have you gotten closer to someone? Are you able to pursue a hobby? Are you able to connect with your child in ways you never did before? Or are you trying out new recipes? Whatever it is Find at least one thing to be grateful for.

For me its this podcast. I’ve been able to channel my creative side and share some of the things I’ve learned as a mom that I get to share while we’re in this weird phase in history together. It feels like a little flower growing in a forgotten field but in time once everyone’s random positive experience flowers have blossomed, our world will look more beautiful than before.

Rearranging furniture is one of the main ways I de-stress. It is actually super great way to keep your family's sanity because it provides a fresh look to any room which can help get you out of the cabin fever funk. It also allows for new ways to play in that room!
Follow on Instagram @familysanitypodcast for more "life with small kids pro tips". Subscribe and review if you've got a minute too! Have a great weekend!
TRANSCRIPT
Before we jump into dance party Friday, I want to share with you one of my FAVORITE tips on getting out of the funk. When you don’t know what to do next with your toddler or your baby is just staring at you looking for entertainment, that funk. What you need to do is rearrange your furniture. Like move your couch from in front of the window to the other side. Or move that arm chair to your bedroom. Physically change at least one room in your home. My favorite was always the living room. Moving the couch or a book shelf would give the space a new life and it would make us play differently by giving us a new nook to sit in or using a new corner as the reading space. The beauty of this is, if you don’t like it, you can change it back. So try changing some things around and let me know how it goes! But before you do that or after really, enjoy this dance party Friday!

This new reality is just that, something new we need to deal with, but you don't need to deal with it alone. Check in every week day for another quick tip on how to maintain your family sanity. I'm your host Naomi Bocaniciu you can learn more about me and this podcast on Instagram @familysanitypodcast. I’m so grateful you are here and if you’re enjoying these tips please rate the podcast and share with your friends. Until next time, whether your family is going insane or you've got it all together, these are definitely times you will always remember.

Does it seem like your house is a hot mess ALL THE TIME? Having small kids can really make it hard to keep the order. Here are 2 tips to help your family in the tidying department.
TRANSCRIPT
We have an art closet. It's in the basement and it is the dedicated space for coloring, gluing and my kids all time favorite activity- painting. They love painting. We do it every day, multiple times and you don’t even want to know how much paint and paper we’ve gone through.

Anyways, Now that they’re both a bit older and they can play independently for longer I have been letting them hang out in the basement while I get lunch ready or put a load of laundry in.

One day a few weeks into quarantine, I heard silence. It was particularly quite and you know that means someone is up to trouble. When I got down there and saw the art closet door ajar I knew this wasn’t good. They managed to open the door, climb the table to get to the tall shelf housing the paint, and dumped the neon orange and baby blue paint all over. It was on the furniture, it was on the floor and it was on them. They both just stood there staring at me, waiting for my reaction.

Honestly, I started laughing. I wasn’t happy, but I must've left the closet unlocked and they just love painting so much and they were really rockin the cute guilty look. This was an extreme example of a mess in my house, but let me tell you, my house gets messy and it took me a long time and I’m still working on accepting it. Toys are everywhere, crumbs are everywhere, dishes are piled high, laundry is all over and my biggest trigger is when I can’t find stuff because it wasn’t put away. It drives me crazy!

Especially now that we’re all home all day it feels like the messes are unstoppable. I try to implement designated clean up times but young kids are not motivated or interested in keeping a tidy home.

There are a lot of variables here including your child’s age, the space you have, and your own cleaning style, but I'll give 2 different quick tips of what has worked for us. First assess if you have clutter. Clutter, according to the dictionary, is a collection of things lying about in an untidy mass. You can find so many ideas about decluttering your home but I’ve never been one to get rid of things that could be useful at a later time. The important thing here is that you have storage for your things especially if you have clutter. If you have bins or baskets, use them! If you don’t you can use cardboard boxes or even bags. When everything has a place, it is easier to tidy up and easier to keep it cleaner for longer.

The second tip is to make cleaning a family event in order to get a desired activity. So for example, before my kids can watch TV, we all tidy up the toys in the room for a few minutes. At first they would just watch me but then they realized if they helped they could watch TV quicker. Modeling what you expect is the first step in getting small kids to understand what you want them to do.

Unfortunately a messy house is part of life with small kids and as overwhelming as it gets, its ok. They will grow up and understand that putting their toys away is an expectation if you model it. Until then, keep your paint locked up and have realistic expectations of what your family can do right now.
This new reality is just that, something new we need to deal with, but you don't need to deal with it alone. Check in every week day for another quick tip on how to maintain your family sanity. I'm your host Naomi Bocaniciu you can learn more about me and this podcast on instagram @familysanitypodcast. I’m so grateful you are here and if you’re enjoying these tips please rate the podcast and share with your friends. Until next time, whether your family is going insane or you've got it all together, these are definitely times you will always remember.

Today's episode describes what Batch Scheduling is and how to do it. For some more context and examples check out my Batch Scheduling 101 eBook
Here are some notes:
Batch scheduling is:
1. Grouping similar things you need to do
2. Assigning times for doing them
After making categories you can do 1 of two things:
Plan times to do certain categories
Sundays from 3-4 I will do all my meal prep
Tuesday mornings before kids wake up is when I do family related things on the computer

OR

Create a mini to do list which is what I like to use. This is a list of things you can do when you have a mini opportunity to get something done. Like when baby sleeps an extra 15 min or you find yourself with 5 min of free time. Look at your mini list (which is batch organized) and cross some thing off from there
Mini training on this will be on my Instagram page on Thursday!