Rabbi Steve Leder: Don’t Come Out Empty Handed

Explicit content warning

04/04/23 • 55 min

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How should you show up for people in grief? What do you say? What should you do? Why is it that beauty can exist alongside deep suffering? What can be said at funerals when the person who died was complicated? These are just a few of the questions I wanted to ask Steve Leder—a bestselling author and a rabbi who has presided over a thousand funerals with wisdom and kindness.

In this conversation, we discuss:

The mysterious way beauty can be found the closer we inch to death (our own or someone else’s).
The importance of just showing up. And being you.
Honoring someone’s memory at the same time being truthful about how human they were
The peace that comes from acknowledging that life is full of dualities
“If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty handed” (Steve Leder), but no, the lessons were never, ever worth the pain

CW: suicide, adult language

***

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In this conversation, we discuss:

The mysterious way beauty can be found the closer we inch to death (our own or someone else’s).
The importance of just showing up. And being you.
Honoring someone’s memory at the same time being truthful about how human they were
The peace that comes from acknowledging that life is full of dualities
“If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty handed” (Steve Leder), but no, the lessons were never, ever worth the pain

CW: suicide, adult language

***

Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.

Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.

THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.

We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.

Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731

To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Previous Episode

Michael Ignatieff: Where We Turn For Meaning

Historian and Canadian politician Michael Ignatieff explores the cracks in our seamless worldviews... or at least the worldviews we thought were seamless until we’re faced with tragedies of all kinds. In this wide-ranging exploration, Kate and Michael probe humanity's enduring attempt to console ourselves and construct meaning from our pain.

In this conversation, Kate and Michael discuss:

Why truth and trust are so important when it comes to finding meaning in our pain
The difference between comfort and consolation
The limits of stoicism and hyper-futurism
What it means to be hopeful
The importance of community through pain and suffering

Michael does not denigrate anyone’s attempt for comfort, but asks us to look carefully at the consolation that lasts. He asks: What is consolation? And why do we all crave that practice of meaning-making?

***

Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.

Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.

THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.

We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.

Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731

To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Next Episode

Mary Louise Kelly: No More Do Overs

What happens when the people we built our lives around stop needing us? Or when we have to pick between our meaningful careers or our family? And what do we do with the ambiguous grief that comes with every expected and unexpected change? Today, Kate takes an honest look at juggling the demands on our time and on our heart with NPR’s Mary Louise Kelly.

Kate and Mary Louise discuss:

Debunking the women can “have it all” paradigm and what happens when the things we love come into conflict
The limitations of gratitude
How our callings pull us into a wider sense of who we belong to
How to savor (and mourn) all the lasts as your children grow older

This may be a conversation about parenting, but I think there might be something in here for anyone who wonders: Who am I as my relationships change? Can I still find myself there?

***

Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.

Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.

THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.

We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.

Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731

To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices