15. Facing fears to pursue freelance and fiction writing w/ Danielle Hayden
10/04/22 • 38 min
Parents have an unparalleled understanding of imposter syndrome. While many find writing to be a cathartic experience, facing the fear of rejection and failure stops many from pursuing their passion. Is 30 years old too late to become brave? Can you be an intern and a mom at the same time? Can you resurrect passions that used to feel impossible?
Joining today’s conversation on balancing writing and parenting is Danielle Hayden, freelance writer and mother to a young daughter. She gives valuable advice on freelancing, her new focus on creative writing, and making time for herself and her writing goals.
In working on their biggest obstacles in writing, such as procrastination and self-doubt, our host and Danielle have been able to help their own children combat negative self-talk. Even when mom guilt comes creeping in, they are able to remind themselves of the importance of meeting their own needs.
Danielle started her freelancing career with an internship at age 30 and has since had more than 80 pieces published — with more to come. Now, after focusing on nonfiction and journalistic writing, she’s pushing past her fears and turning to her childhood passion of fiction writing. She’s able to relish these moments while living a busy life as a parent.
Danielle is proving it’s never too late to chase after your dreams!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- Danielle’s background and self-published children’s book
- Why she loves to write and her favorite type of writing
- How to succeed as a freelance writer
- Tips for pitching ideas
- Danielle’s journey with fiction writing
- Danielle details her WIP essay collection and historical fiction book
- Putting pen to paper
- One pivotal lesson Danielle learned about writing
- Learning to “kill your darlings”
- Roadblocks Danielle has overcome in writing
- Conquering procrastination
- Writers and sleep deprivation
- Mom guilt
- 3pistolary, Danielle’s letter writing project
- Favorite books
About Danielle:
Danielle Hayden writes mostly creative nonfiction and journalistic pieces but also dabbles in fiction. She is currently working on an essay collection and a novel. She published her first children's book, A is for Aria, which she wrote as a gift to her daughter.
In 2021, Danielle launched the website 3pistolary to help build connection and community via the practice of letter writing. She lives in Seattle with her techie husband and kindergartener daughter.
Get her book:
- A is for Aria:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/danielle-hayden-and-nithini-wathsala/a-is-for-aria/hardcover/product-gm4gve.html?q=&page=1&pageSize=4
Connect with Danielle:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daniellehaydenwriter
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_daniellehayden_/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/wordsaremything
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.co
Looking for an editor or book coach?
As an indie author, editor, and book coach, I teach authors how to untangle their jumbled ideas and tackle each writing stage one at a time.
With my 20 years’ experience and my master’s in writing, I have a 4-stage process that takes authors from struggling with overwhelm to finishing their manuscripts with confidence and direction in 6 months.
As such, I love spending time with my clients and watching them grow into strong, knowledgeable authors. Read more here, and schedule a call to see if we're a good fit: https://calendly.com/erinptcanning/30min-meeting.
Parents have an unparalleled understanding of imposter syndrome. While many find writing to be a cathartic experience, facing the fear of rejection and failure stops many from pursuing their passion. Is 30 years old too late to become brave? Can you be an intern and a mom at the same time? Can you resurrect passions that used to feel impossible?
Joining today’s conversation on balancing writing and parenting is Danielle Hayden, freelance writer and mother to a young daughter. She gives valuable advice on freelancing, her new focus on creative writing, and making time for herself and her writing goals.
In working on their biggest obstacles in writing, such as procrastination and self-doubt, our host and Danielle have been able to help their own children combat negative self-talk. Even when mom guilt comes creeping in, they are able to remind themselves of the importance of meeting their own needs.
Danielle started her freelancing career with an internship at age 30 and has since had more than 80 pieces published — with more to come. Now, after focusing on nonfiction and journalistic writing, she’s pushing past her fears and turning to her childhood passion of fiction writing. She’s able to relish these moments while living a busy life as a parent.
Danielle is proving it’s never too late to chase after your dreams!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- Danielle’s background and self-published children’s book
- Why she loves to write and her favorite type of writing
- How to succeed as a freelance writer
- Tips for pitching ideas
- Danielle’s journey with fiction writing
- Danielle details her WIP essay collection and historical fiction book
- Putting pen to paper
- One pivotal lesson Danielle learned about writing
- Learning to “kill your darlings”
- Roadblocks Danielle has overcome in writing
- Conquering procrastination
- Writers and sleep deprivation
- Mom guilt
- 3pistolary, Danielle’s letter writing project
- Favorite books
About Danielle:
Danielle Hayden writes mostly creative nonfiction and journalistic pieces but also dabbles in fiction. She is currently working on an essay collection and a novel. She published her first children's book, A is for Aria, which she wrote as a gift to her daughter.
In 2021, Danielle launched the website 3pistolary to help build connection and community via the practice of letter writing. She lives in Seattle with her techie husband and kindergartener daughter.
Get her book:
- A is for Aria:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/danielle-hayden-and-nithini-wathsala/a-is-for-aria/hardcover/product-gm4gve.html?q=&page=1&pageSize=4
Connect with Danielle:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daniellehaydenwriter
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_daniellehayden_/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/wordsaremything
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.co
Looking for an editor or book coach?
As an indie author, editor, and book coach, I teach authors how to untangle their jumbled ideas and tackle each writing stage one at a time.
With my 20 years’ experience and my master’s in writing, I have a 4-stage process that takes authors from struggling with overwhelm to finishing their manuscripts with confidence and direction in 6 months.
As such, I love spending time with my clients and watching them grow into strong, knowledgeable authors. Read more here, and schedule a call to see if we're a good fit: https://calendly.com/erinptcanning/30min-meeting.
Previous Episode
14. Rewriting your parenthood story w/ Emily Popek
What does editing a book and parenting have in common? A ton, actually!
As an editor, your job is to excavate through what you are given and pull out the best from the author. Same goes with good parenting. Your job is to direct your children, but allow them to have their voice heard where they can still shine.
Your writing and editing skills crossover with parenting more than you would think. You can use the concepts and skills you’ve refined over time to not only guide your children, but to advocate for them as well. Whether that be writing to your local school board or having challenging conversations with policy makers to create positive change in your community.
Having children doesn’t mean you need to stop writing or using your skills. If anything, you can elevate your abilities by having children by getting creative with how you use your skills.
Not to mention, kids’ imaginations are endless, so if you’re ever stuck on a story plot, you can always turn to your little ones for some brilliant inspiration.
Joining us on today’s episode is Emily Popek, a journalist, school communications professional, and mom of one pre-teen. Emily joins us to discuss how parenting and writing can intertwine, as well as how parenting has changed over the years, and how to reframe struggles in parenting and writing into opportunities, and much more!
This is an enlightening conversation with so many nuggets of wisdom that you don’t want to miss.
Tune in to learn more!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- How children are great resources of inspiration
- The concept of a “throwaway book”
- Why Emily started writing a newsletter
- The importance of removing the idea of perfection when writing
- The camaraderie in the writing community
- The direction Emily wants to see her newsletter go
- Struggles in parenting in today’s society
- Just because parenting is hard doesn’t mean it is being done the wrong way
- The power in having challenging conversations in your local communities
- How strong communication skills can make an impact
- How and why Emily became a journalist
- Writing the elusive headline and catchy hooks
- Erin’s joy of editing
- Importance of finding an editor that allows you to showcase your voice
- The crossover between editing and parenting
About Emily:
Emily Popek is a journalist and school communications professional. Her newsletter about the intersections of parenting and education is at thinkofthechildren.substack.com. Emily and her husband are both graduates of Bennington College; they live in upstate New York with their 10-year-old daughter.
Get her newsletter:
- Think of the Children, https://thinkofthechildren.substack.com/
Connect with Emily:
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/EmilyPopek
- FB page: https://
Looking for an editor or book coach?
As an indie author, editor, and book coach, I teach authors how to untangle their jumbled ideas and tackle each writing stage one at a time.
With my 20 years’ experience and my master’s in writing, I have a 4-stage process that takes authors from struggling with overwhelm to finishing their manuscripts with confidence and direction in 6 months.
As such, I love spending time with my clients and watching them grow into strong, knowledgeable authors. Read more here, and schedule a call to see if we're a good fit: https://calendly.com/erinptcanning/30min-meeting.
Next Episode
16. Healing from identity loss and anxiety through writing
Discussing or even acknowledging our struggles can feel like a taboo topic for many, especially people who feel the pressure of being the perfect parent for their children. Taking care of little ones requires a lot of energy, and there’s not always enough left over for yourself. Throw in feelings of shame and embarrassment, plus a lack of knowledge and support, and you have a well-shaken coke bottle ready to explode.
On today’s episode, Erin gets personal and shares her experience with anxiety and loss of identity and ways these struggles have manifested in her life as a parent. She also talks about the effects of her childhood, the need for support, and self-awareness being the first step to change.
As writers, we can use our love of writing to heal and find a way back to ourselves. Similar to when a child has a tantrum after a long day filled with big emotions, adults also get easily overwhelmed and don’t always recognize or understand their feelings and actions. Writing can help us identify our patterns and triggers, making it easier to manage our mental health.
Stories, whether in a book or shared between friends, are a powerful tool that have the ability to connect us. They can create understanding, relieve loneliness, and build empathy toward ourselves and others. In sharing her own story on this episode, Erin hopes she can help anyone else struggling and bring awareness to an underrepresented issue.
Listen to this episode for an intimate conversation on parenting, mental health, and solutions.
Topics discussed in this episode:
- Hidden signs of anxiety and how it showed up in Erin’s life
- How her ADHD exacerbated her anxiety
- Lacking support and prioritization skills
- Why self-awareness is key
- Embarrassment and shame surrounding struggling parents
- How writing can help reduce anxiety and aid healing
- Writing and changing your perspective
- Mind dumps to release mental exhaustion and thought traps
- Writing prompts for anxiety and depression
- Writing your hero’s journey
- Writing prompts for exploring your identity beyond being a parent
Resources discussed in this episode:
- Calm the Chaos community by Dana Abraham: https://www.facebook.com/people/Calm-the-Chaos-Parenting-by-Lemon-Lime-Adventures/100064305355198/
Looking for an editor or book coach?
As an indie author, editor, and book coach, I teach authors how to untangle their jumbled ideas and tackle each writing stage one at a time.
With my 20 years’ experience and my master’s in writing, I have a 4-stage process that takes authors from struggling with overwhelm to finishing their manuscripts with confidence and direction in 6 months.
As such, I love spending time with my clients and watching them grow into strong, knowledgeable authors. Read more here, and schedule a call to see if we're a good fit: https://calendly.com/erinptcanning/30min-meeting.
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