Embracing Discomfort

This episode is simply what I can only describe as necessary. It's challenging and imperative to navigate the realities of rape, assault, bar culture, rape culture and the general overall safety for people in the community of Greensboro and beyond. As someone who has struggled with navigating the lines of privacy this conversation was enlightening and something that I believe is everyone's responsibility. No one is safe if we can not create a space to address the things that people have a hard time speaking about. I did a episode a couple of weeks ago with Daniel White when the Greensboro Predator List was still a hot topic and I posed some questions that raised some brave souls to approach me about how they felt! One of those brave souls is Devon McKnight, she introduced me to Alexa Feldman who has been one of the many people in a community that has arose to allow survivors to speak out and be protected, this comes in the form of the NC Safety Alliance. I am beyond honored that they chose my platform to be a place where they could speak out as well. These courageous women put their names out there along with their stories and have taken on the heat that comes along with the communities fears about the unknown. Privacy is something that I touched on in Part One and we continued that conversation because of the harms that come along with privately handling something that changes the life of a survivor, forever. The problem that we see in our community is the inability to speak on the dangers that are blatantly in our faces. To silently address each survivor after something has happened is simply too late and not effective enough, we all have a responsibility as members of this community to make sure that it is a safe one. We spoke on the many ways a survivor can receive justice ,but the real challenge is empathizing with abusers in a way that still protects a survivor. It requires a heart that is willing to hold abusers accountable to their actions and call them to be members of society not cause loss of innocence. This is not just about women it is about our children, our friends, our families and the places that make Greensboro such a special place. The alliance as I learned through this conversation are simply focused on elimination of the toxic rape culture that we can easily miss if we do not pay attention! Privacy to someone who has the ability to diminish the value of a human life is simply intolerable. What are we doing to protect the community that loves us? Is there love if we simply turn a blind eye to the cries of the people who are simply seeking someone to listen to them and believe them? How people choose to beat the wounded further by privately attacking them is toxic, this is why transparency has been a big push for the alliance. There is incredible strength in numbers and the access the community has to this information gives me as a survivor hope that we can eliminate more instances of people who can relate to this unacceptable behavior. Are we holding our bar communities to a standard to prioritize the people they serve? Is money more important than the safety of the people who allow this communities' local businesses and people to be successful? We MUST have hearts that are willing to listen, love and grow. It is imperative to know the people who need the community to step in and simply say NO. Conversations about anything are possible only if we have ears that are solution seeking. I admire that there is a call to simply acknowledge the disparities that make this community petrifying to people who have seen it's darkness. We can not be afraid to speak out when we see violation, we can not ignore the cries of survivors and we simply have a obligation to be aware of the best ways to make sure that we reduce the numbers of people who can relate to sexual violence.
Instagram: @ncsafetyalliance_gso

@Kosmicxkarma and I met back in the Kathleen Clay and Webkinz days (who knows how many years ago). Throughout the years we have randomly seen each other throughout the city and more recently through our lack of silence on the topic of systemic racism. See, the plan was to solely focus on having her educate me on the misconceptions that are associated with black alt culture but as usual we explored other connections to this issue. This culture receives excessive scrutiny because of their expression of the oppression within the world. I learned how the cultural appropriation of black alt culture is something that people do without even realizing it. It's brainwashed into us to see this as a white culture......which then causes racial stereotyping without education or understanding of the history, fashion, culture and its practices. Gatekeeping is defined as the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something. As we spoke more on the issues gatekeeping poses we can clearly see it causes more division than unity. I also picked up on how there is more to learn about cultures that have been misappropriated for profit, which is way too many in my opinion. We live in a culture so quick to cancel something they don't understand out of fear vs logic or white wash it for profit. We see it everywhere as a trend without considering the origins and sacredness of these people, places and things. We went on to look at Greensboro specifically and I came to learn way more about how this culture is very prevalent in this city through artists such as Black Haus who are a representation of this culture and also local. She broke down all the different subgenres of cultures that could be considered alternative and when I say it blew my mind, it's understatement. There is a lack of safety in expression that is common and toxic in society. There is a quickness to be shut up or feel the need to hide, I admire the boldness and refusal to succumb under the racial gatekeeping/assumptions of who a person is based on how a person looks. We jumped into local past house shows/venues and how if you thought they are anything like a concert, that is just not the case. House shows create a community where expressing yourself with people who feel very similarly is the goal and letting it all go is the roadmap to get there. Yes, they can be overwhelming to navigate so knowing some etiquette is important before going to a house show and she gave tips and tricks for those who may have considered it. The live music, art, expression and the ability to organize these shows is something important to the culture and is surely missed Kosmickarma went through a brief history of the house show scene in Greensboro including Ice House, Grime House and Road Closed. There were some examples of toxic expression as well the strides taken to make sure that people stay as safe as possible without limiting their expression. I learned so much in this episode and as I continued through my days after recording I began to see how this culture is everywhere and how respecting the bravery to be one hundred percent the person you want to be is something worth admiring! We spoke on how people should respond to the culture and the hurtful ways that can no longer continue if we truly are to build bridges.
Connect w. Kosmicxkarma
Instagram - @kosmicxkarma
Art Instagram - @spacequeendream
Music Instagram/ Soundcloud - @tanscendentalweather
RESOURCE/RECOMMENDATION: http://www.dobi.nu/yourscenesucks/
@blackhausband (Instagram) - they are a Greensboro Local Black Alternative Band! (WE LOVE LOCAL OVER HERE)

Abby wanted to interview me......and this is basically what happened.
Abby is simply what I can only describe as a breath of fresh air! In this episode we dive into my story a bit more.....because Abbie is just like me, full of questions. We broach the subject of childhood identity crisis's, political correctness, white privilege, racial unity, authenticity, generational patterns, what can white people do better and the constant theme throughout the entirety of the episode, laughing at the hypocrisy. This episode was such a blast to record and it was one where there wasn't any plan except let's talk and record it. Enjoy this painfully hilarious perspective from two people who simply refuse to allow it to continue.
Much love

Meet the first guest of Embracing Discomfort, Daniel White!
In this episode Daniel & I dive into the Greensboro Predator List, seeing the problem from multiple perspectives, asking hard questions about consent, accountability and education. We offer some solutions to consider as we intake the harsh reality of facing predators as well as the safety of men & women in this society.

CONNECTING W/ Daniel
Instagram: @freedaniel
Podcasts: @thedanielwhiteshow & @thefreepizzapodcast
He has a website! https://www.danielwhitephoto.com/store

When Tim told me that he wanted to broach the subject of Grief and Loss, I was completely shook not only because of the uncomfortable subject but because the recent loss of Chadwick Boseman and how important this conversation is. WAKANDA FOREVER, seriously though. In this very brave episode Tim & I unpack the heaviness that accompanies grief and loss. We acknowledge that there is a difference in the process of grieving for different genders & races. The dangers of capitalizing on grief and refusing to empathize with the panic that accompanies the grief. We spoke on the continuing journey that society seems to be taking to create walls to hide their pain. What can we do better to help each other? If anything life is very short and very long at the same time and the people that we choose to live this life with can be the key to keeping us on track to healing and growing. Some solutions we offered that could be right, wrong or in need of revision included the choice to forgive, artistic expression, writing it out, friendships with people who make time for you (tea), time, adventure, hope, and creating memories with the people who mean the most. Let's create safe places for people to be vulnerable about their grief and loss.
Tim is also a LOCAL Greensboro artist!
STREAM: Self & This Isn't Easy! AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE.
Instagram - @timothyeugenius
Website - www.timothyeugenius.com