DZ-63: Tools for Better Dialogue 2 - Hook and Eye
Explicit content warning
12/31/19 • 118 min
How can you create flow and contrast in your dialogue?
A full three years after the first instalment (and one of our most popular), Stu and Chas have kidnapped Stephen Cleary to once again develop some craft tools around dialogue. It would be fair to say that - in that time - all three have learnt a lot more about dialogue than they knew in 2016. It would be also fair to say that Stephen perhaps learnt a little more through his research into “genderlect”.
In Part II, we analyse key scenes from films and TV shows famous for their dialogue, namely FLEABAG (Season 2, Episode 5), JUNO and DEADWOOD (The Pilot). The biggest tools we explore are: the hook and eye; how dialogue can reveal status and empathy; rhythm; contrast and affinity; and pacing.
And just to help us all out, Stephen rounds out the episode with some quick fire examples - FIVE EASY PIECES, JERRY MAGUIRE, GROSSE POINTE BLANK, and NOTTING HILL (again) - and further dialogue tips.
Thanks to Chris Walker for editing this episode during the holiday season.
RUNNING ORDER
- Intro/Groundwork
- Status and Gender (@ 05:52)
- FLEABAG (Season 2, Episode 5) by Phoebe Waller-Bridge (@ 15:26)
- WATCH: Hair Is Everything — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q97iIDx-b7U
- JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/fleabag
- JUNO by Diablo Cody (@ 47:41)
- WATCH: Juno Tells Her Parents: — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWC-R-q85JU
- JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/juno
- DEADWOOD (Pilot) (@ 01:20:20)
- WATCH: Seth Bullock Hangs a Man in Montana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtgjwmYgTOg
- JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/deadwood
- More Dialogue Tips and Techniques (@ 01:40:55)
- WATCH: Jerry Maguire “Show me the money” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTFJocQBLyE
- WATCH: Grosse Pointe Blanke “You can never go home again” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgLr6qlpec4
- WATCH: Notting Hill “Kitchen Scene” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtQShHQuPwI&t=93s
- LISTEN: DZ-31: Tools for Better Dialogue (Part 1)
- WATCH: Five Easy Pieces “Side Order of Toast” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38maVb_30ng
- FOLLOW: Stephen Cleary
- JOIN: Stephen Cleary Workshops
- READ: Genderlect / Language and Gender
- READ: The Truth About How Much Women Talk — and Whether Men Listen
Please considering rating or subscribing to us on Apple Podcasts! or sharing us on the Social Medias! We like finding new listeners. We are @stuwillis and @chasffisher on twitter. And you can find @draft_zero on Instagram and Twitter.
Many thanks to all our patrons but particularly to Theis, Jesse, Daniel, Jack, Chris, Khrob, Sandra, Nick, Matteo, and Carrie. They’re good humans.
BUY DRAFT ZERO MERCH via TeePublic
How can you create flow and contrast in your dialogue?
A full three years after the first instalment (and one of our most popular), Stu and Chas have kidnapped Stephen Cleary to once again develop some craft tools around dialogue. It would be fair to say that - in that time - all three have learnt a lot more about dialogue than they knew in 2016. It would be also fair to say that Stephen perhaps learnt a little more through his research into “genderlect”.
In Part II, we analyse key scenes from films and TV shows famous for their dialogue, namely FLEABAG (Season 2, Episode 5), JUNO and DEADWOOD (The Pilot). The biggest tools we explore are: the hook and eye; how dialogue can reveal status and empathy; rhythm; contrast and affinity; and pacing.
And just to help us all out, Stephen rounds out the episode with some quick fire examples - FIVE EASY PIECES, JERRY MAGUIRE, GROSSE POINTE BLANK, and NOTTING HILL (again) - and further dialogue tips.
Thanks to Chris Walker for editing this episode during the holiday season.
RUNNING ORDER
- Intro/Groundwork
- Status and Gender (@ 05:52)
- FLEABAG (Season 2, Episode 5) by Phoebe Waller-Bridge (@ 15:26)
- WATCH: Hair Is Everything — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q97iIDx-b7U
- JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/fleabag
- JUNO by Diablo Cody (@ 47:41)
- WATCH: Juno Tells Her Parents: — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWC-R-q85JU
- JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/juno
- DEADWOOD (Pilot) (@ 01:20:20)
- WATCH: Seth Bullock Hangs a Man in Montana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtgjwmYgTOg
- JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/deadwood
- More Dialogue Tips and Techniques (@ 01:40:55)
- WATCH: Jerry Maguire “Show me the money” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTFJocQBLyE
- WATCH: Grosse Pointe Blanke “You can never go home again” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgLr6qlpec4
- WATCH: Notting Hill “Kitchen Scene” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtQShHQuPwI&t=93s
- LISTEN: DZ-31: Tools for Better Dialogue (Part 1)
- WATCH: Five Easy Pieces “Side Order of Toast” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38maVb_30ng
- FOLLOW: Stephen Cleary
- JOIN: Stephen Cleary Workshops
- READ: Genderlect / Language and Gender
- READ: The Truth About How Much Women Talk — and Whether Men Listen
Please considering rating or subscribing to us on Apple Podcasts! or sharing us on the Social Medias! We like finding new listeners. We are @stuwillis and @chasffisher on twitter. And you can find @draft_zero on Instagram and Twitter.
Many thanks to all our patrons but particularly to Theis, Jesse, Daniel, Jack, Chris, Khrob, Sandra, Nick, Matteo, and Carrie. They’re good humans.
BUY DRAFT ZERO MERCH via TeePublic
Previous Episode
DZ-62: Unfilmables and Unscriptables 3 - As Ifs & Emotional context
How do you know if your unfilmable is good... or if you’re just being a wanker?
In this third and final part of our series on unfilmables, Chas and Stu turn their critical eye to... each other’s work! They take their key learnings from the previous episodes and apply them to rewriting scenes from their own projects. They discuss metaphors, emotional context, and how you can write tone on the page withoutresorting to unfilmables.
They are also joined by Carissa Lee (who has been reading the excerpts) to discuss her perspective as an actor on the scripts we’ve been reading; and they answer listener questions about unfilmables.
And, lastly, in backmatter Carissa reads the entire script to Stu’s award-nominated script, DUST BUNNY.
Thanks to Chris Walker for editing this episode, and Carissa Lee for performing the big print.
RUNNING ORDER- Introduction / Discussion
- UNCONDITIONAL (Pilot) by Chas Fisher (@ 09:10)
- PAYLOAD by Matthew Clayfield & Stuart Willis (@ 38:48)
- DUST BUNNY by Stuart Willis (@ 59:50)
- THE ACTOR’S PERSPECTIVE with Carissa Lee (@ 01:15:59)
- LISTENER QUESTIONS & KEY LEARNINGS (@ 01:41:56)
- Backmatter: DUST BUNNY - full script read by Carissa Lee (@ 01:59:13)
- LISTEN: DZ-60: Unfilmables and Unscriptables (Part 1) – Engaging imagination
- LISTEN:DZ-61: Unfilmables and Unscriptables (Part 2) - Moments of Awe
- READ: DZ-62 Unfilmables (Part 3) - Collated Scripts
- WATCH: PAYLOADwritten & directed by Stuart Willis
- WATCH: RESTORATIONwritten by Matthew Clayfield & Stuart Willis
- LISTEN: PAYLOAD Original Soundtrackcomposed by David Barber
- LISTEN: RESTORATION Original Soundtrackcomposed by David Barber
Please considering rating or subscribing to us on Apple Podcasts! or sharing us on the Social Medias! We like finding new listeners. We are @stuwillis and @chasffisher on twitter. And you can find @draft_zero on Instagram and Twitter.
Many thanks to all our patrons but particularly to Theis, Jesse, Daniel, Jack, Chris, Khrob, Sandra, Nick, Matteo, and Carrie. They’re good humans.
BUY DRAFT ZERO MERCH via TeePublic
Next Episode
DZ-64: Backmatter - Controlling your Work, Treatments, and Writing Styles
In our annual Backmatter-only episode, Stu and Chas indulge themselves by offering personal opinions on the life and work of emerging screenwriters based on their own personal experience.
To that end, they discuss: what is and is not in your control in relation to an emerging writing career; choosing what project to develop next; using the Black List site to gain traction; the difference between treatments for pitching as opposed to for development; and the difference in writing style when writing on spec as against work for hire.
We also unexpectedly have a guest: David Wappel kindly joins us to share his thoughts on anchoring nouns.
RUNNING ORDER
- Intro
- What is in your control? (@ 05:27)
- Choosing what to develop (@ 28:58)
- Using the Black List site (@ 33:24)
- Treatments for development vs for pitching (@ 59:47)
- Writing on spec vs work for hire (@ 01:23:23)
- Backmatter on backmatter (@ 01:37:37)
EPISODE LINKS
- Wordplayer.com: WORDPLAY/Columns/55. "Time Risk" by Terry Rossio
- M. Night Shyamalan on His Failures, His Successes, and Glass
- The Black List site: www.blcklst.com
- Julio Olivera’s script reading services: www.wearethecontrarians.com/Julio-reads-your-script
- Stranger Things pitch bible: http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Stranger_Things/Stranger_Things_-_Bible.pdf
- Can’t watch a rough cut lady song: https://youtu.be/4MNg3sSZ9F8
- Write Along Podcast on Planners and Pantsers - www.writealongpodcast.com/2018/11/09/ep-2-planners-and-pantsers/
- David Wappel is @davidwappel on Twitter and his website is www.davidwappel.com
Please considering rating or subscribing to us on Apple Podcasts! or sharing us on the Social Medias! We like finding new listeners.
Many thanks to Daniel, Chris, Sandra, Jack, Jessie, Nick, Khrob and Theis for being top-level patrons. They’re good humans.
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