Desire on Fire

One of the things that consistently brings women into the Desire On Fire community is shame.

Shame around sex for sure — wanting it, knowing what you want, asking out loud for what you want (often the most difficult and vulnerable part of our journey).

But it’s not just about sexual shame. It’s also about shame around all kinds of desire — for any kind of pleasure, fun, abundance, agency, freedom, or satisfaction.

Where does this shame come from? And how is it that even people who were raised outside of traditional religious environments and in sex-positive families (like Aimee and Ellie) still carry trauma and fear around sex and desire?

Our guests today have a unique perspective, because they grew up inside the conservative evangelical structures that gave rise to purity culture.

And through the long journey of exploration, unlearning, and finally being trained as sex therapists themselves, they’ve found a way forward towards healing, freedom, and wholeness — not just in their sex lives, but in the fullness of all kinds of desire.

If you grew up in purity culture (and spoiler alert: we all feel the effects of this paradigm, whether we grew up with religion or not), we think you’ll find this conversation with Juila Postema and Jeremiah Gibson to be enlightening and deeply encouraging.

Julia and Jeremiah are currently the hosts of the Sexvangelicals, a sexual health podcast and education platform with the mission to support relationships in reclaiming sexuality following adverse religious experiences.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• How Julia and Jeremiah found their way to freedom (and to each other)
• What exactly is purity culture?
• How purity culture affects even non-religious people
• Why early + clear conversations around sex, pleasure, and desire are so important
• How you can begin your journey to break free from sexual shame

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Julia and Jeremiah:

Sexvangelicals website

Julia and Jeremiah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexvangelicals/

Sexvangelicals podcast

People + resources mentioned in this episode:

DOF Episode with Elena Rossi on sexual healing after trauma

AASECT (American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors, and Therapists)

Multi-Orgasmic Man, by Mantak Chia

Extended Massive Orgasm, by Steve Bodansky

Dr. Wednesday Martin

Sexvangelicals podcast episode with Kara Haug - Reframing Our Stories

Apple Podcasts summary:

If you grew up in purity culture (and spoiler alert: we all feel the effects of this paradigm, whether we grew up with religion or not), we think you’ll find this conversation with Juila Postema and Jeremiah Gibson to be enlightening and deeply encouraging.

Julia and Jeremiah are currently the hosts of the Sexvangelicals, a sexual health podcast and education platform with the mission to support relationships in reclaiming sexuality following adverse religious experiences.

We’re looking at the roots of purity culture, its far-reaching effects on everything we do — and how to find healing and freedom in truth, love, and community....

We’re often conditioned to see an intense “down” — time of loss, grief, anger, struggle, jealousy, betrayal, stuck-ness — as something we need to get past as quickly as possible so we can get back to having fun and experiencing pleasure.

Our culture says that feeling “up” is good and feeling “down” is bad, which can lead us to compulsive behaviors that momentarily make us feel good — even when they’re not healthy for us long-term and actually pull us away from the things we say we want the most.

I recently sat down with my good friend Paige Wilhide. You may know her as an amazing breakup coach or the emcee at our Desire on Fire Live events.

In this episode, we talked about the reckoning and awakening that brought her to her knees and landed her in Bali — and what she discovered about healing, real sisterhood, letting go of external validation from men, and the beauty in the mess.

There’s something in Paige’s journey that we can all relate to. And there’s so much power in the question she wrestled with: What happens when we stop hiding out from the transformative work that our down time is inviting us into?

And could it be that the pain we’re avoiding right now is the very thing that, when faced honestly, would finally allow us to experience our desires and pleasures at their fullest?

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• What it means to “approve” of the down times — and why it’s so crucial
• Why Paige chose to enter a 12-Step recovery program, and what she learned from the initial “withdrawal” period
• The invitation from Aimee that was the turning point
• What happened when she shared vulnerably at her first women’s circle in Bali
• How to deal with this one HUGE misconception about desire that many women have

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Paige:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paigewilhide/

Website: https://www.breakupbreakthrough.com/

Are you feeling a pull? To step into more pleasure, to stop shaming and dismissing the parts of you that want more connection and purpose? That desire is there for a reason, and today we are inviting you to listen to the call! This week, we welcome three of our badass sisters, Tasia, Abbie, and Appiffanny, on the show to discuss their experience with Desire on Fire. They share vulnerably about the paths that led them here, finding the courage to live a different way, and the transformation that comes from stepping into your personal responsibility, pleasure, and purpose.

We dive into:

• Stepping into a different level of intimacy with yourself - and the courage it takes to get there!
• How to STOP shaming yourself for feeling (and a powerful story from Appiffanny on finding the approval to cry)
• What could be holding you back from doing this work - and how to get turned on by it instead!
• Two of the MOST impactful moments for Abbie during the Desire on Fire Experience
• What to do when you start triggering others with your powerful self-approval
• Some advice from these badass women if you are considering exploring this work
• And more!

Connect with our guests:

Tasia Macaraeg:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tasiamacaraeg/

Appiffanny Boston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ageofepiphany/ and https://www.instagram.com/appiffanny/

Website: https://app.ageofepiphany.com/

Abbie Weiss:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mydearabbie/

Website: https://www.abbieweiss.com/

https://www.ignitedprograms.com/

Join us for The Desire on Fire Experience! Use code “sexy” at checkout to get your ticket for only $145! https://www.desireonfirelive.com/

Take our FREE Intimacy Quiz! https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/60bfceb6749e3400170c1da5

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And our retreat company instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Subscribe to my email list and learn more about a desire-led life: https://www.aimeebatuski.com/

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

You can have it all! More orgasms, sex, money, pleasure... sometimes we just need an expander to show us what’s possible. In today’s episode, I have a powerful conversation with shame slayer Shoshanna Raven - business and leadership mentor for heart-centered entrepreneurs - about what it means to show up authentically in your business (and life!), why a genital herpes diagnosis is NOT a death sentence, and how to reframe the hard things in your life as opportunities to alchemize your shame and pain into purpose and power!

We dive into:

• Shoshanna’s genital herpes journey - and how you can slay the shame around yours!
• The proof that you can be real AND successful (and how Shoshanna is achieving consistent 6-figure months in her coaching biz!)
• What it can look like when there’s nothing WRONG with your relationship - but you still want more
• Shoshanna’s heartbreak and how it impacted her life and business (and how her breakup healed her stomach issues!)
• Her vulnerability experiment - and why it made her more magnetic!
• And more!

Connect with Shoshanna:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shoshanna_raven/

Living Brave Podcast: https://shoshannaraven.com/podcast/

Website: https://shoshannaraven.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And our retreat company instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Subscribe to my email list and learn more about a desire-led life: https://www.aimeebatuski.com/

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

When you think about dropping into healing work, transforming your life, embracing your feminine - is there some resistance there? In today’s episode, I invite my beautiful friend of 15 years, Ilana Seewald, to share her journey from resistance to finding true healing and powerful growth. We get into some juicy stories from our younger years, the transformation that can come from saying the deeper thing, and how to trust your own unique journey so you can have a life filled with more pleasurable sex, orgasms, and relationships!

We get deep into:

• Ilana’s resistance to transformational work and her path to healing
• Some juicy FIRSTS that we experienced together in our younger years
• Hitting rock bottom and acknowledging her abandonment wounds and harmful patterns in her relationships
• The BIGGEST shifts that came out of Ilana’s time in Landmark
• How understanding relationships and men have transformed her leadership and career
• A recent growth edge Ilana found when entering a lovership with a polyamorous man
• How Desire on Fire and transformational work have impacted her romantic relationships
• And more!

Subscribe to my email list and learn more about a desire-led life: https://www.aimeebatuski.com/

Come and join our fb community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

And my retreat company instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/