Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
Ruth Vercoe
Kia ora, Hello! I’m Ruth Vercoe, a teacher-turned-mum, here on a mission to demystify Child’s Play through understanding play schemas.
If you’ve ever found yourself asking, 'Why is my child doing that?' —whether it’s throwing their soft toys, hiding stones around the house, or lining up their crayons —then you’re in the right place, and certainly not alone.
Here, we’ll explore the magic of play through the lens of play schemas—those hidden repeated patterns in your child’s behaviour that hold the key to unlocking more meaningful play and connection.
Join me each week as we dive into playful insights that will help you bring more joy, connection and understanding into your parenting journey.
Get in contact at
Email [email protected]
Facebook and Instagram @Play_Schemas
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Top 10 Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas Episodes
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019 Understanding Play Schemas & Love Languages in Parenting
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
04/02/25 • 11 min
Wrapping Up the Love Languages Series: How Play Can Deepen Your Connection with Your Child
Do you ever wonder what’s really behind your child’s play? Or why they behave a certain way when they’re feeling disconnected? Understanding play schemas and love languages can completely transform the way you interact with your little one—making parenting more intentional, fun, and fulfilling!
In this final episode of our Love Languages & Play series, we bring everything together to help you recognise, respond to, and nurture your child’s emotional needs through play.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How Play Schemas & Love Languages Work Together – Discover how your child’s natural play tendencies (like spinning, building, or transporting objects) can align with their love language and emotional needs.
✅ Spotting Your Child’s Love Language in Daily Life – Learn the simple ways children express what they need, from asking for quality time to seeking physical touch.
✅ Why Love Languages Change Over Time – Understand how your child’s love language may shift as they grow, and how to stay attuned to their evolving needs.
✅ The Connection Between Love Tanks & Behaviour – Is your child acting out, or are they just running low on love? Learn how unmet emotional needs can show up in tantrums, clinginess, or defiance.
✅ Discipline Through the Lens of Love Languages – Why using the wrong consequence could do more harm than good, and how to guide your child in a way that keeps their love tank full.
✅ Building a Stronger Family Culture – Encourage siblings, partners, and extended family to understand and support each other’s love languages, creating a more connected home.
💡 Try This Today!
Next time your child is upset, ask yourself: Have I filled their love tank today? Take just five minutes to connect in their love language—whether it’s a cuddle, a game, or simply telling them how much you love them. You might be surprised by the difference it makes!
💬 We’d love to hear from you! What love language does your child respond to most? Share your experiences with us!
📌 Resources & More:
🔗 Read more on our blog: playschemas.com
📲 Follow us on Instagram for daily insights: @play_schemas
📩 Join our newsletter for exclusive parenting tips: playschemas.com
If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review—your support helps more parents discover how to make play a powerful parenting tool! 🎧💖
#PlaySchemas #LoveLanguages #ParentingTips #EarlyChildhood #GentleParenting #ChildDevelopment
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
016 Make Memories: Play & Quality Time Tips!
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
03/12/25 • 18 min
Ever feel like your child is constantly throwing, spinning, or building the same thing over and over—and you’re not quite sure why? Or maybe you’re wondering how to give your child the quality time they crave without adding more to your already packed schedule? You’re not alone! In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re unlocking the magic behind play schemas and how they connect with the love language of Quality Time—helping you build stronger bonds with your child through their natural way of playing.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ What are play schemas? Discover why your child repeats certain play behaviours and what it tells you about their development.
✔️ Why Quality Time matters—especially for children who seek undivided attention from parents.
✔️ 10 easy ways to turn play into meaningful connection, tailored to your child’s unique play interests.
✔️ How to make time for Quality Time (even when life is busy!).
Many childhood behaviours—like throwing objects, hiding under blankets, or endlessly lining up toys—aren’t random at all! They’re part of play schemas, the natural way children explore and make sense of the world. When you understand these patterns, you can join in their play in a way that feels natural, fun, and deeply connecting.
And if your child’s primary love language is Quality Time, they don’t just want you to watch them play—they want you to play with them! But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to set aside hours of elaborate playtime. Even small, everyday moments can make a big impact!
Practical Ideas You Can Try Today!
🌟 Trajectory Play (throwing, dropping, running): Instead of saying "Stop throwing!", turn it into a game—play catch, race toy cars, or explore water play together.
🌟 Rotation Play (spinning, turning things): Join your child in stirring, mixing, or riding bikes—simple, everyday moments that fill their love tank.
🌟 Enclosure Play (building forts, climbing into spaces): Snuggle inside a homemade fort for cosy, screen-free Quality Time.
🌟 Positioning Play (lining things up, arranging objects): Set the table together or sort coloured toys—simple, mindful moments that strengthen your connection.
✨ Even just 10 minutes of focused, undistracted play can make your child feel seen, valued, and deeply loved!
Too Busy? Here’s How to Fit It In!
We get it—parents are BUSY! But Quality Time doesn’t mean grand outings or hours of play. Here are simple ways to make connection part of your daily routine:
✔️ Pre-bedtime snuggles – A perfect, distraction-free way to end the day.
✔️ Car time chats – Use car rides for fun conversations instead of screens.
✔️ Cooking together – Let them help mix, pour, or taste-test while you chat.
✔️ Set a timer – Just 10–15 minutes of full attention can make all the difference!
🎁 Giveaway Alert! Sign up to our email list before March 31, 2025, for a chance to win a copy of The 5 Love Languages of Children! → Join Here: playschemas.com
🔗 Don’t miss out! Follow us on Instagram @play_schemas for more practical play tips!
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
014 Play Schemas & The Love Language of Physical Touch | Understanding Your Child’s Needs
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
02/26/25 • 22 min
🎁 WIN A FREE BOOK!
Love The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman? I’m giving away a FREE copy to one lucky listener!
✅ How to enter: Join my mailing list before March 31, 2025, at 👉 playschemas.com
Did you know that something as simple as a hug, a high-five, or a game of tag could be the key to your child feeling deeply loved and secure? In this episode, we’re exploring Physical Touch as a love language—how it shapes your child’s emotional development, why some kids crave it more than others, and how you can easily incorporate it into everyday moments of play.
For many parents, physical touch comes naturally in the early years—rocking, holding, carrying—but as children grow, affectionate touch often fades into the background. And if your love language isn’t physical touch, you might find yourself wondering: “Am I giving my child what they need to feel truly loved?”
💡 Here’s the good news: You don’t need to be a “cuddly” parent to make this love language work. Physical touch isn’t just about hugs—it can be playful, fun, and part of your daily routines!
Let’s start by addresing something important: body safety and consent. In a world where we’re constantly teaching our kids about personal space and “safe touch,” how do we also make sure they’re getting enough loving, appropriate, and secure physical connection? That’s why I’ve partnered with Victoria Barendsen from The Safe Kids Project, a registered psychologist specialising in childhood trauma and body safety. If you want to feel empowered in teaching your child about safe boundaries, check out her ‘Foundations of Body Safety’ course—and get a special discount just for listeners at https://thesafekidsproject.com/ and use the code playschemas10 at checkout for a 10% discount.
🎧 What You'll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ Why Physical Touch Matters – The emotional and developmental benefits of affectionate touch
✔️ How Play Naturally Encourages Physical Connection – Simple ways to build touch into your child’s day
✔️ Age-Appropriate Ways to Use Physical Touch – From toddlers to tweens, what works best?
✔️ Respecting Boundaries – Teaching consent without withdrawing affection
✔️ Easy, Everyday Play Ideas for Connection – No extra effort required!
🤹♀️ Using Play to Connect Through Touch
Physical touch doesn’t have to feel forced—it’s naturally woven into so many types of play! In this episode, I share:
🎯 Rough-and-Tumble Games – Chase, tag, tickling, piggyback rides
🎨 Sensory Play – Messy play with dough, mud, and textures
🎵 Rhythmic Clapping & Hand Games – Fun ways to include gentle touch
🎠 Swinging & Spinning – Playful movement that strengthens connection
💡 Building Together – Snuggle in a fort, sit closely while crafting, or create hand-linked towers
👉 Want a FREE Play Schema Guide? Grab yours at playschemas.com/free!
📲 Follow along on Instagram: @play_schemas for daily parenting tips!
💬 Join the conversation: What’s your child’s favourite physical play activity? Comment below or DM me!
Becaus
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
012 Engage your little helpers at home through Play!
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
02/12/25 • 14 min
Play Schemas at Home: Turning Play Into Productivity
How to Encourage Your Child to Help Around the House—Through Play!
FREE list of play and helping around the home ideas - head to playschemas.com/free!
Does it feel like you’re constantly cleaning up after your little one while they seem more interested in making a mess? What if, instead of working against their natural play instincts, you worked with them?
Children explore the world through play schemas—repetitive patterns of behaviour that help them make sense of their surroundings. Understanding these schemas can turn everyday chores into engaging activities, helping you get things done while fostering their development.
Today you’ll discover:
- How play schemas influence your child’s behaviour.
- Practical, play-based ways to get your child involved in household tasks.
- Simple activities that turn playtime into productive time.
What Are Play Schemas?
Play schemas are the natural ways children explore and understand their world. When you match everyday activities to these schemas, you make chores feel like play—encouraging your child to participate instead of resist.
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
011 Playing Together – How Adults Can Join the Fun Without Taking Over
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
02/05/25 • 10 min
Playing Together – How to Join the Fun Without Taking Over
Have you ever found yourself ‘playing’ with your child, only to realise that you’re the one in charge? One moment you’re happily stacking blocks, and the next, you’re directing the entire build like an overzealous project manager. Sound familiar? You’re not alone!
In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving into the art of playing with your child—without taking over. If you’ve ever wondered how to join in their games while still allowing them to lead, this episode is for you.
Why This Matters for You and Your Child
Play isn’t just about keeping little ones entertained—it’s how they learn, express creativity, and process the world around them. But as adults, we often struggle to step back and let them take the lead. Maybe it feels unnatural, or you’re unsure what to do, or you slip into ‘teaching mode’ without realising. The good news? There’s a better way to support your child’s play without overshadowing their creativity.
Inside This Episode, You’ll Discover:
🔹 Why letting kids lead their play is key to their development and confidence
🔹 How to engage in play without turning it into an adult-led production
🔹 Four simple steps to join the fun—without taking over
🔹 Real-life examples of parents finding the balance between guidance and freedom
🔹 How to harness play schemas to make everyday tasks fun and engaging
Plus, we’ll explore easy, schema-based activities that transform everyday chores into playful learning moments. Whether your child loves throwing, transporting, spinning, or stacking, you’ll learn creative ways to channel their energy into helping around the house—without the battles!
Try This at Home!
This week, we’re setting a fun challenge: Try one schema-based activity from today’s episode and see how your child responds! You might be surprised at how naturally they engage in meaningful play when given the freedom to explore.
Let’s Connect!
If this episode gave you a fresh perspective on play, we’d love to hear from you! Share your experiences, tag us on social media, or leave a review—it helps other parents discover the magic of play schemas too. And don’t forget to grab your FREE Schema Cheat Sheet at playschemas.com/free.
Hit play now and discover how to make playtime more fun, connected, and stress-free for both you and your child! 🎧✨
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
010 Play Schemas and Siblings – How to Make Schemas Work for (Not Against!) You
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
01/31/25 • 13 min
🎙️ Play Schemas and Siblings – How to Make Schemas Work for (Not Against!) You!
👧👦 Do your kids constantly clash over toys, fight over space, or seem to have completely different play styles? You’re not alone! Sibling play can be tricky—one child wants to build, while the other wants to knock things down. One loves to throw, while the other carefully arranges their toys in a perfect line. What if we told you that these differences aren’t just personality quirks but deeply rooted in the way children naturally explore the world?
In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, we’re diving into the science behind play schemas and how they can either cause frustration between siblings—or bring them closer together. By understanding how your children’s play instincts work, you can create a more peaceful, engaging, and cooperative play environment at home.
✨ In This Episode, You’ll Discover:
✅ What play schemas are (and why they’re the key to understanding your child’s play behaviour)
✅ Why siblings often have different schemas—and how this can lead to conflict
✅ How to support multiple schemas at the same time without chaos taking over
✅ Simple strategies to turn play struggles into opportunities for bonding
✅ Real-life examples of how parents can guide sibling play for fewer arguments and more connection
🏡 Practical Tips for Real Families
We know that parenting is busy, and there’s no time for complicated solutions. That’s why we’re sharing easy, doable strategies that fit into everyday life. Whether it’s setting up play invitations that cater to different schemas or gently redirecting play conflicts in the moment, these tips will help you feel more in control of playtime and more confident in your parenting.
❤️ Because Play Shouldn’t Be a Battleground!
When you understand why your children play the way they do, you’ll be able to guide them in a way that supports their natural development—without the stress. Let’s make play work for you, not against you!
🎧 Tune in now and transform sibling playtime into a moment of learning, connection, and fun.
📩 Loved this episode? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a new one! And if you found this helpful, please share it with a friend—it might just save their sanity too!
🔗 FREEbies & more play tips: playschemas.com
📸 Follow us on Instagram: @play_schemas
#PlaySchemas #SiblingPlay #ParentingTips #EarlyLearning #ChildDevelopment
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
017 Loving your child through gifts and play
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
03/19/25 • 15 min
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
001 Play Schemas: Demystifying Childs Play
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
11/08/24 • 15 min
Understanding Play Schemas: Demystifying Child's Play | Episode 1 🎙️
Welcome to the first episode of "Demystifying Child’s Play"! I’m Ruth Vercoe, and today we’re diving into the fascinating world of play schemas—the patterns that shape how children learn and grow through play. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or caregiver of children aged 0-7, this episode is packed with insights on how understanding these schemas can transform your parenting approach. 🧸
In this episode, I share my own journey from being a teacher to a Mum and how recognising these play schemas has helped me connect with my children on a deeper level. Learn how play isn’t just random fun, but a vital part of your child’s development, with schemas like the trajectory schema, rotation schema, and enveloping schema guiding their exploration of the world. 🌍
If you've ever wondered why your little one throws things, spins around, or hides objects, this episode will shed light on those behaviours and how they contribute to cognitive growth. By embracing play schemas, you’ll discover how to turn frustrating moments into meaningful play experiences. Plus, I’ll share practical tips for engaging with your child’s play in ways that support their learning and reduce tantrums. 🙌
Don’t forget to download my FREE Play Schemas Cheat Sheet at PlaySchemas.com/free to get ahead on the 10 most common schemas. Let’s make every day a great day to play! 🎉
👉 Subscribe for weekly episodes and join the conversation on how play can unlock your child's potential.
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
013 Play Schemas and Love Languages - a Match Made in Heaven
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
02/19/25 • 14 min
LOVE to a Child is Spelt TIME: Understanding the 5 Love Languages of Children
💡 Want a chance to win ‘The 5 Love Languages of Children’ book?
Join my mailing list at playschemas.com—you’ll be in the draw to win, no matter where in the world you are!
💛 Do you ever wonder if your child truly feels loved? You tell them “I love you” a hundred times a day, but sometimes, their behaviour suggests they need more. The secret? Kids don’t just hear love—they experience it. And every child has their own way of receiving love.
In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we dive into Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages of Children and how you can use play to meet your child’s emotional needs in a way that makes sense to them. Whether your little one thrives on cuddles, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or small acts of kindness, understanding how they receive love can transform your relationship and strengthen their emotional security.
🎙️ Inside This Episode, You’ll Discover:
✅ The 5 Love Languages of Children—and why toddlers need all of them!
✅ Why love is the foundation of all child development (without it, nothing else sticks!)
✅ How your child’s play behaviour gives clues about their emotional needs
✅ Why kids’ love languages change—especially before age 5
✅ How big life changes (like a new sibling) can shift how they seek connection
✅ Practical ways to show love through play—based on your child’s play schema
✨ A Full Emotional Tank = A Happy, Secure Child
Children don’t always have the words to say, "I need love right now." Instead, they show us through clinging, meltdowns, defiance, or attention-seeking behaviour. In this episode, we unpack how to spot the signs of an empty emotional tank—and how to fill it up again in a way that truly resonates with your child.
🚀 What’s Coming Next?
This episode is just the beginning! Over the next few weeks, we’ll deep dive into each love language and explore how you can nurture it through play.
💌 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
🔗 Read the blog & show notes: playschemas.com/013
📲 Follow on Instagram: @play_schemas
💬 Join the Facebook community: facebook.com/playschemas
💖 If this episode resonated with you, please:
👍 Follow & rate the podcast to help others find it!
💬 Share your thoughts—what’s your child’s favourite way to receive love?
Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just something we say—it’s something we show. ❤️
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
007 Christmas Play Schemas: Tips & Scenarios
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
12/18/24 • 14 min
Is your child tossing baubles, spinning ornaments, or carrying presents across the room? Before you wonder if they’re being “naughty,” take a deep breath—they’re not being difficult; they’re being explorers! In this episode, we’ll decode these behaviours through the lens of play schemas, helping you see the magic in your child’s play this Christmas.
✨ What’s Inside This Episode?
Christmas can be a magical time, but for parents of young children, it’s often filled with unexpected moments. Your toddler’s fascination with spinning decorations, piling presents, or mixing food can leave you feeling frustrated or embarrassed—especially when relatives raise an eyebrow. But what if you could make sense of it all?
In this episode, I’ll help you understand these quirky actions as play schemas—a natural part of your child’s development that allows them to learn, grow, and make sense of the world. You’ll gain practical tools to:
✅ Recognise the most common play schemas in action this Christmas.
✅ Redirect your child’s play in ways that support their development and protect the festive vibe.
✅ Explain their behaviour to family members with confidence and clarity.
🎄 Real-Life Festive Scenarios & Solutions
Here’s a taste of what we’ll cover:
- Trajectory Schema: Throwing baubles or tossing wrapping paper? They’re exploring movement and physics—offer soft balls or paper snowballs instead.
- Transporting Schema: Carrying gifts across the room? They’re mastering coordination—set up a ‘delivery station’ to channel this energy.
- Enveloping Schema: Wrapping themselves (or the dog!) in blankets? They’re exploring boundaries—provide scarves or a box they can crawl into.
- Rotation Schema: Spinning ornaments or twirling in circles? It’s all about balance and coordination—encourage safe spinning toys or activities.
- Transforming Schema: Mixing food or tearing paper? They’re little scientists experimenting—give them playdough or edible ‘safe science’ tasks.
These scenarios—and more—will give you simple, actionable tips to turn potential chaos into calm, all while fostering your child’s natural curiosity.
🎁 The Cheat Sheet You’ll Love
To make this even easier, I’ve created a free cheat sheet summarising these insights. Whether you print it for quick reference or share it with family, it’s a practical way to front-foot those awkward conversations and keep everyone on the same page. Download it here: 👉 playschemas.com/007 or playschemas.com/free
✨ Why This Matters
When you understand why your child behaves the way they do, you can replace stress with connection. Play schemas aren’t just about play—they’re about learning, discovery, and growth. This Christmas, let’s celebrate your child’s curiosity and help others see the beauty in their actions too.
Get your free cheat sheet and show notes here: 👉 playschemas.com/007
🎙 Coming Up Next: We’ll explore more play schema insights to help you connect with your child in fun and meaningful ways—because, as I always say, today is a great day to play!
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
[email protected]
www.playschemas.com
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FAQ
How many episodes does Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas have?
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas currently has 19 episodes available.
What topics does Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas cover?
The podcast is about Parenting, Kids & Family, Child Development, Play, Podcasts and Education.
What is the most popular episode on Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas?
The episode title '013 Play Schemas and Love Languages - a Match Made in Heaven' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas?
The average episode length on Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas is 16 minutes.
How often are episodes of Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas released?
Episodes of Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas are typically released every 7 days, 1 hour.
When was the first episode of Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas?
The first episode of Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas was released on Nov 8, 2024.
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