Darkseid's Couch

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée continue rampaging through Septembersaurus with Dinosaurs for Hire no. 1! People love smart social satire, and so it only follows that those same people would tolerate mediocre social satire. Enter Dinosaurs for Hire, a comic about space lizards coming to Earth and immediately finding gainful employment as well-paid government agents. On, like, the first day! They don't even know what country they're in yet and they're already doing better than you would in a dozen lifetimes! It's the perfect setup for some cutting commentary about modern society, which is probably coming in issue 2. For sure by issue 3.

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get sucked up into a whirlwind of interspecies romantic with Solo Avengers Starring: Hawkeye no. 18! With the useful Avengers out of town, Hawkeye just wants to get in some shirtless target practice and forget his many, many failings as a superhero. There's only one problem: Cowboy goofball the Texas Twister has come a'lookin' for help rasslin' up the slimy gremlin what stole the soul of his darlin' Star, and Hawkeye is too much of a coward to tell him to kick rocks! Together, the two heroes (?) confront the monstrosity, only for Tex to lay a big slobbery kiss right on its face! What's going on here?! Have all the methane fumes of a life on the range finally eaten their way into his brain? Also, in a bewildering backup tale, Moondragon and her talking pendant have to escape from space bugs who want to steal the baby that contains her cousin's mind! If the solution involves more kissing this might be the greatest comic book ever made!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée go looking for scares in all the wrong places when they trudge through Ghost Rider no. 31! Doctor Strange has brought together the finest nine heroes who didn't have anything else to do tonight and mashed them together to form the gothiest new superteam of 1992, the Midnight Sons! Wait, nine members? Boy, they're gonna be the Early Afternoon Sons by the time this roll call is done, right!? You've got Ghost Rider! Morbius, the Wealthy Vampire! Blade, the Morbius Hunter! Blade's Friend! The Other Ghost Rider! Man in Coat! Gun Guy! Sunglasses Lady! Backup Gun Guy! Faced with insurmountable odds, they'll put aside their differences and work together for the greater good: Bringing us a spooky Halloween comic! Did they succeed? It's shocking that you would even ask.