Crystal Paine Show

My word for 2021 was Show Up. (Okay, that’s two words, but who’s counting?)

This simple phrase impacted so much of my year and served as a guide for how I lived my day-to-day.

Any time I found out a friend was struggling or discouraged or just feeling overwhelmed or tired, I tried to stop and pray, “God, how would You have me show up for her?” That sometimes looked like sending a text or checking in regularly or just stopping to pray or sending dinner or a card. But it often looked like reaching out of my comfort zone and offering intentional proximity — like showing up at her house (even if I didn’t know her that well) to give her a hug or watch her kids so she could take nap.

Here’s the beautiful thing I discovered: taking those steps beyond loving people well at a distance (where it’s still pretty safe and comfortable) to leaning in and showing up right in the middle of the mess is awkward and uncomfortable at first, but some of the deepest community has been forged in those vulnerable spaces this year.

I often didn’t have the right words to say. Many times, I questioned as I was driving to someone’s house, “What am I doing? This is crazy! What if I show up and it’s just really weird.” But then I’d remind myself that this wasn’t about me; this was about me showing Jesus’ love even if I felt inadequate and awkward.

And every single time, I would leave knowing that it wasn’t about saying the perfect words or even doing a lot to make a difference, it was just communicating to a long-time friend or newer acquaintance: I am WITH you. You are not alone. You matter. I see you.

I think that in our often-detached virtual world, it’s easy to play it safe in relationships. To hold people at arm’s length. But playing it safe never builds strong community or deep relationships.

Let’s be people who pursue intentional proximity. Who show up for others — even when it feels uncomfortable. And who keep showing up over and over again.

We were made for community!

In This Episode

[00:34] - Welcome to another episode of The Crystal Paine Show. Starting the year off with colds.

[02:09] - Finally finding our groove while traveling to Kansas.

[06:00] - How cold is cold weather to us?

[08:36] - Jesse shares what is saving his life.

[10:10] - The lotion that is saving my life.

[13:11] - My book update and my new monthly reading goals.

[14:35] - The last book I finished in 2021.

[15:55] - We share a running inside joke about our marriage.

[17:05] - What is Intentional Proximity?

[20:00] - Don't just say, "Let me know if we can help!"

[22:15] - Yes, it was awkward, at times. But it was worth it.

[25:35] - It was a great reminder that it wasn't about me but about showing Jesus' love.

[28:11] - What would intentional proximity look like for you?

Links & Resources

• Books
• Pray Confidently and Consistently: Finally Let Go of the Things Holding You Back from Your Most Important Conversation by Valerie Woerner
• GoalsMy Goals for 2022
• My Reading Goals for January
• Special Mentions
• Food Saver
• Magnesium Lotion Shop
• Other Links
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

We’ve been keeping a secret for 11 weeks — I’m 15 weeks pregnant!!!!

Yes, this news was possibly even more shocking than when we found out I was pregnant with Kierstyn after 10 years of infertility! In fact, we were so surprised, we waited a full week to tell our kids — which, if you know Jesse and me well, you know we can’t keep secrets from our kids!

We found out I was pregnant right after saying yes to adopting Baby D... who we thought was going to our family’s caboose! But God definitely had different plans and we just had laugh at the timing of it all!

We also have to marvel at how we went from grieving the loss of being told that we’d never be able to have more kids a few years ago (not even through IVF) to now prepping for having 3 littles with the oldest being barely 2 years old! Oh and at 40 and 41 years old! Only God!

We are all thrilled and excited with this very unexpected news and how God is writing a story here that is so different than what we could have ever dreamed or imagined!

I’m slowly coming back to life after 9 weeks or so of the usual morning-noon-and-night sickness and extreme exhaustion. If you’ve noticed I’ve not been sharing as much here and not sharing food/cooking/recipes or videos with my face much on Instagram stories, now you know why!

For all the details on how we found out, how we told our kids, and more, be sure to listen to today’s podcast episode.

Want more details on my pregnancy? I'm sharing more and answering your questions over on Instagram today.

Note: I know that this news will be really hard for some of you to hear. You’d give anything to be pregnant and hearing another pregnancy announcement feels like a gut-punch. I want you to know you’ve been heavy on my heart and I’ve been praying specifically for you. I also want you to know that you have my full permission to unfollow or mute my social media accounts for awhile — whatever you need to do, please do it and know I will fully support you in that.

In This Episode

[00:34] - Welcome to another episode of The Crystal Paine Show.

[01:28] - Our infertility journey.

[05:06] - The surprise of saying yes to adopting Baby D.

[06:54] - After saying yes to Baby D, we felt done and complete.

[09:27] - My reaction to the pregnancy test results.

[12:00] - Jesse explains how we shared the news with the kids.

[15:50] - We didn’t really tell any of our other close friends or our family for a while. Here's why...

[20:40] - My heart has been heavy for those experiencing infertility and loss.

In this week's episode of the Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I share some of the lessons we've learned in our almost 19 years of marriage on how fight less and communicate with more grace and depth.

We talk about practical strategies, personal development and growth, and how to approach difficult conversations that could potentially lead to conflict and misunderstanding.

We also share some family updates -- especially about Baby D's upcoming surgery -- and then we talk about what we've been reading, a program Jesse has been doing to keep him accountable to health goals, a teeth whitening kit I've been loving, and more!

In This Episode

[00:34] - Today we're talking about How We (mostly) Stopped Arguing

[02:45] - This is a big week for us as it's Baby D's big cleft palate surgery.

[09:06] - Jesse shares about what's helping him stay more accountable to health goals.

[13:32] - There are seasons for really big audacious goals. And there are seasons for just, well those little nudge goals. So figuring out which season you are in and what’s going to be best for you.

[14:57] - A teeth whitening kit I've been loving!

[17:21] - We share about books we've been reading.

[19:44] - Let's talk about how we’ve stopped arguing -- most of the time!

[21:50] - The biggest thing that has helped us is changing our perspective of God and His love for us! Oftentimes, we can get frustrated with our spouse because we expect them to give us something that only God can give.

[23:55] - If you don't believe you are fully loved by God, it's hard to believe you are loved by others.

[25:28] - If you’ve pre-decided what your spouse, what your kids, what your co-workers, what your community, your friends, believe about you, you won't be able to really hear what they are saying.

[26:24] - We come from very different perspectives and we process the world very differently. Learning to see this as a gift has helped our communication in a big way.

[30:57] - Changing the way we approach conflict, hurt, and misunderstandings makes such a difference in allowing our conversations to be productive versus full of tense and frustration.

[32:23] - I think another thing that’s been really, really helpful for us, is just prioritizing romance and fun. Don't forget what drew you together in the first place.

Links & Resources

• Books
• Finish by John Acuff
  A Surrendered Yes: 52 Devotions to Let Go and Live Free by Rebekah Lyons
  Imagination Station, Series
• Special Mentions
• 75 Hard
• SugarWOD, fitness app
• Lumineux, Oral Essentials
• Other Links
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

If you were to drop by our home on any given day right now, you’d likely find that there are dishes in the sink, crumbs on the counter, and baby toys on the floor. My bed is probably unmade. I might not be out of my PJs yet. And it may smell like a very recent poopy diaper.
I’ll be holding a baby or running after a toddler. I will invariably need to leave the room multiple times to change a diaper or make a bottle or try to soothe a little one who is fussy.
There will likely be teens coming and going — some I birthed, some who are just hanging out at our house for the day or spending the night (the perk of having an extroverted teen: you never know who they will have invited over!). I might look a little tired — since I haven’t slept through the night in over a year. And my kids will most definitely be asking a few times what they can have for a snack — and I might be telling them that there’s cereal to eat, but don’t eat all of it up since that’s what we’re having for dinner, too.

My hospitality muscle has grown far beyond what I believed I was capable of. My heart has been beautifully broken and expanded. And I’ve gotten to see need in our community in an up close and personal way... and my priorities have shifted in a pretty seismic way as a result.
I can’t go back to living in a safe and sterile bubble anymore, shielded from the needs and brokenness... & I have no desire to. Some day, I might have a clean room, clean bathroom, and get an unbroken night’s sleep all on the same day again. But for now, I get to see God’s faithfulness and goodness and grace show up for me each and every day — in the midst of the messes and my weakness.
Yes, we’ve traded in a quieter, calmer, more organized life for one that might look and seem a little (or a lot!) chaotic and loud... and yet, I wouldn’t trade the lessons we’ve learned or the blessings we’ve experienced or the relationships we’ve built for anything!
P.S. Please know there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a clean bathroom and a good night’s rest. This is just the season of life God has called me to right now and I want to embrace it wholeheartedly and see the gifts and beauty in it! ❤️

In This Episode:

[00:33] Apparently podcasting equipment is the new hot thing for teenagers. ;)

[01:52] We recorded this on National Donut Day.

[04:28] Jesse is heading out to camp with the youth boys.

[07:09] Water is saving my life these days. Learn why.

[10:13] I’ve been slowly reading Don’t Miss Out by Jeannie Cunnion.

[12:26] Learn the inspiration for this episode.

[16:47] I’ve been thinking about how messy our house is right now but how peace-filled our lives are.

[18:15] Saying yes to God oftentimes means saying yes to the mess.

[21:18] I spend a lot of time in God’s word and praying throughout my day.

[23:32] It’s important to understand that you can’t say yes to everything. You have to rest.

[25:54] Why resting in God’s love is imperative to finding peace in the chaos.

Links and Resources:

• Don't Miss Out by Jeannie Cunnion
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

This week's podcast episode covers a much-requested topic: our favorite audiobooks! Summer is a great time for reading and listening to more books -- especially with road trips and/or just a slower schedule. And if you listen regularly to the podcast, you know we love audiobooks.

Whether you’re looking for a way to pass time while cleaning, cooking, or driving or you prefer listening to reading, this episode is packed with our favorite 20+ audiobooks to add to your listening library!

I managed to narrow my list down to 20 (okay, maybe a few more) and then Jesse shares some of his favorite series, too. We share a wide range of books -- including my favorite book on habits, a book that inspired me to want to visit all the national parks, captivating fiction, eye-opening historical narratives, and more!

We also share how we find time to listen to audiobooks, when we listen to audiobooks, and how we listen to audiobooks. And we share how we never pay for audiobooks!

In This Episode

[0:35] - Jesse and I are diving into our favorite audiobooks and sharing 20+ recommendations!

[2:59] - We use the Libby app to listen to audiobooks on my phone (+ when I listen to them!)

[4:53] - I start by recommending Lisa Wingate’s Before We Were Yours.

[5:51] - I highly recommend The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society for its engaging, well-narrated story.

[7:11] - Jesse enjoys starting a series from the beginning, like Bill O'Reilly's Killing series.

[9:39] - Next up on my list is The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris.

[10:53] - Dear Bob and Sue recounts a couple's witty, sarcastic adventures visiting all U.S. national parks.

[13:23] - Jesse enthuses over Vince Flynn’s American Assassin, which starts a series completed by other authors after his death.

[14:11] - I mention the highly popular book