Crystal Paine Show

I thought that it would be fun to sort of turn the tables around a little bit and interview Jesse, who just recently had his forty-second birthday!

Jesse has a lot of wisdom to share. He's walked through a lot in his life -- including being born prematurely, his parents divorcing at an early age, losing his mom to cancer when he was young, and two major brain tumor surgeries. And that was all just before he turned 15!

In this episode, he shares some of the biggest life lessons he has learned over the course of his life and what lessons he hopes to impart to our children.

We talk about how important it is to take risks and face fears. He share about what it was like to do this when he went to law school and started his own firm, and we both had to face fears when we went into fostering. All in all, you never know where a leap of faith or even just a baby step will take you!

In This Episode

[03:01] – Jesse recently finished reading Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw and is reading People Are the Mission by Danny Franks.

[04:58] – I am reading Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt -- a book that is different from many I usually read.

[09:20] – What has been saving my life this week?

[12:47] – Jesse shares what has been saving his life.

[17:24] – What are a couple of life lessons that Jesse wants to teach our kids.?

[18:13] – Jesse talks about some fears that he has faced throughout his life.

[23:45] – Jesse's hopes for the next forty years or so.

[28:35] – Skills build on each other.

Links & Resources

• Books
• Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage by Dan Crenshaw
• People Are the Mission: How Churches Can Welcome Guests Without Compromising the Gospel by Danny Franks
• Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
• Other Resources
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

So often, when I share about something we're doing -- sticking with a $70 grocery budget, staying out of debt, choosing to save up and pay cash for something, fostering, etc., people will immediately write in and let me know why they can't do what we're doing.

Here's the thing: I don't share what I do online expecting that everyone is going to do exactly what we're doing. Foster care might not be a possibility for you. You might be in a situation where a mortgage is a smarter idea than renting and saving up to pay cash. Maybe you live in an area where groceries are most expensive or there aren't stores with great markdowns.

If you see someone else doing something and your first response is to list the reasons why you can't do what they are doing, I challenge you to stop saying, "I can't." Instead, ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Is there part of you that feels like you want to cut your grocery bill or get out of debt or pay cash for something or be involved in foster care?

In this episode, we encourage you (and ourselves!) to stop saying, "I can't" and to ask instead, "What can I do?"

We get really practical in discussing this. Plus, I recount an embarrassing moment to Jesse that happened on a radio interview that day, we discuss his receding hairline, we talk about books we are reading, we get on a rabbit trail about how he and I process things so differently, and I talk about my press-on nails. Yes, all in about 30 minutes. :)

In This Episode:

[00:33] Today, let's chat about removing “I can’t” from your vocabulary.

[01:21] But first, an embarrassing story about a radio interview I had recently.

[06:25] Thinking and talking is definitely a skill many women can attest to. How about men?

[07:27] Why husbands should and shouldn’t ask what their wives are thinking. :)

[08:19] My press on nails are saving my life this week.

[13:38] Listen as I set up Jesse’s life-saving tip for this week.

[15:32] Jesse shares the routine that is now saving his life.

[17:51] I’ve been reading Praying Mom by Brooke McGlothlin.

[20:12] Jesse is reading Cross Shadow by Andrew Huff.

[20:40] Stop saying “I can’t.”

[22:35] Why resistance to change turns into “I can’t” statements.

[24:24] If you’re coming up to the wall but you have a desire, take this challenge.

[25:53] Think of what you can do versus what you can’t.

[27:42] Is your response really “I can’t” or is it “I don’t want to?”

[30:49] Maybe you’re not going to be able to accomplish that big thing, but it may be time for a small change.

Links and Resources:

• Episode 120: How to Nix Your Negative Narrative (with Jon Acuff)
• imPRESS Nails
• Praying Mom by Brooke McGlothlin
• Cross Shadow by Andrew Huff
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

Forgiveness is certainly not the easiest topic to cover for anyone, but what if the ultimate betrayal was laid at your feet. How would you react then? For Lysa TerKeurst it led to authoring a book all about using forgiveness to heal and grow after a terrible experience.

Lysa found out several years ago that her husband was being unfaithful. Not just once or twice, but had been repeatedly unfaithful along with having a substance abuse problem. When she found out she was devastated.

The pain was so terrible it would literally stop her in her tracks no matter where she was. She was having panic attacks and anxiety flare ups and she was just lost to the pain. So she made an appointment to see her counselor and from there she truly began to heal.

You see she had a very “little girl” view of how forgiveness works and it hadn’t grown up with her. Not that she thinks that simply forgiving her husband of his faults would have saved them any of the pain that they went through, but if her sense of forgiveness had matured, she may have saved herself from some of that pain.

Listen as she shares her story and how it influenced her need to write her latest book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. She’s truly baring it all and sharing how we can use these tactics throughout the holiday season as well. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. So stop holding yourself back from giving it.

In This Episode:

[01:30] Welcome Lysa TerKeurst to the show and hear more about her and her family.

[03:43] Why she chose to write her most recent book.

[07:18] What caused her extreme sadness and anger and inability to forgive.

[09:24] Learn what her therapist did to help her reach a point that she could forgive.

[13:01] Why forgiveness is a gift that you can receive for yourself.

[14:56] What happens when you stuff pain down and refuse to acknowledge it.

[17:22] Lysa’s first memories of forgiveness.

[20:00] What did she do after acknowledging her pain?

[26:13] Lysa’s advice for the woman who is living in their pain.

[29:29] It doesn’t make you an unforgiving person to draw boundaries.

[30:43] Where she is now after writing this book.

Links and Resources:

Crystal Paine

Crystal Paine on Instagram

[email protected]

Money Saving Mom

Money Saving Mom on Facebook

Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst

Proverbs 31 Ministries

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

I loved getting to have Annie F. Downs back on the podcast again! Annie’s new children’s book, Where Did TJ Go?, was written as a practical resource to help kids better understand and process grief.

Grief can be a heavy topic, but this episode isn’t all dark and gloomy, trust me! We start out with a funny discussion on Bone Broth Hot Cocoa (yes, for real!) and how to not have it taste like chocolate beef. Plus, protein and getting older and even menopause. 🙂

And then we move to Annie sharing her unexpected journey of writing this book and walking the road of losing her precious nephew, TJ. I appreciate Annie sharing so openly about the deep loss and challenges and also the beautiful moments of TJ’s life. We discuss how to better love others who are going through grief and loss and some of the hardest parts of this experience for Annie personally.

This is truly an emotional yet uplifting conversation that reminds us all of the importance of holding space for both grief and joy and supporting each other through life’s most difficult moments and you will not want to miss this conversation. I also highly recommend Annie’s new book, Where Did TJ Go?: A Book for Kids on Grief and Loss!

In This Episode [0:35] – I welcome my friend Anne F. Downs back to the show! [1:45] – Annie shares having mistakenly bought the wrong bone broth for a hot chocolate recipe, resulting in beef flavored hot cocoa. 🙂 [7:25] – Cottage cheese, protein, good intentions, and menopause. [9:06] – The inspiration behind Where Did TJ Go? [11:53] – Unable to find resources for grieving children, Annie wrote Where Did TJ Go? for her nephew Sam, TJ’s brother. [14:39] – TJ miraculously survived for 56 days! Annie shares some of his life and memories with him. [20:06] – I talk about losing two siblings as a child. [23:03] – Annie points out some beautiful things illustrator Jenny Poh included in the book. [25:35] – I compare The Hope of Heaven to Where Did TJ Go?, appreciating their shared message of hope. [29:36] – Annie reflects on having signed over 300 bookplates in loving memory and recognizing families’ need for remembering their loved ones by name. [31:49] – Annie sees how TJ’s death reshaped her family and her perspective. [34:30] – Hear how grief overwhelmed Annie after TJ’s death but that writing the book helped her process it. [37:07] – Although she is still grieving, Annie finds healing in writing and trusting that pain can have a purpose. [40:22] – It’s important to continually check on grieving friends, even years after the loss. [42:04] – Comparing TJ to a friend’s child was difficult, but the book’s personal details bring comfort.Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

The Crystal Paine Show – 246. The Best Way to Encourage Your Single Friends

Annie’s Website

Books