Crystal Paine Show

Jesse and I are excited to have our pastor on the show today! We’re part of the discipleship program that he started at our church, and you’ve probably heard us talk about the program many times if you've been following me online the last few years.

Jesse actually joined the Discipleship Program shortly after we moved to TN. It ended up profoundly impacting his life.

I was more reluctant to be a part of it, but I finally said yes the next year... and well, my life will never be the same!

Many of you have asked me to share more details on the program, so I'm honored that Eric took time out of his schedule to record a podcast to explain more of the backstory of the Discipleship Program and how it came about.

In this episode, Eric explains how he used to live his life in a performance-based way. He saw his worth as being tied to what he accomplished. He also felt that he couldn’t trust others, and had to rely on himself to get things done.

Eric and his wife got stuck in a rut that they couldn’t find their way out of. They knew they needed help, so they accepted the opportunity to go away for a period of intense counseling. This turned his life upside down, even though he found it incredibly hard to have some very unhealthy patterns in his life exposed.

Because of what he learned through counseling and in-depth study, he knew he could never go back to where he once was. He invited 12 men to join him on this journey of studying and reading and growing together. This became the basis for the Discipleship Program that now has impacted hundreds of lives in our local community.

I’m so excited for you to hear Eric share about some of the foundational principles that have changed my life as well as some first steps you can take if you’re feeling stuck. (Also, Eric talks about some tools and resources you can dive into if you want to learn more about your emotions and how to live wholeheartedly.)

In This Episode:

[00:25] - Welcome back to the Crystal Paine Show! I give a little backstory about today’s guest, our pastor Eric Hoffman.

[03:37] - The first six months after we moved were a low point for Jesse. He struggled to find his worth outside of his work.

[06:36] - Being part of the Discipleship Program at our church is truly what God used to radically shift his perspective and understanding of God. It also helped him uncover and discover his giftings and the way he is wired.

[08:29] -I share how I was very reluctant to sign up for the Discipleship Program and talk about how exhausting and hard it was for me to go through it the first year. And yet, ultimately, it ended up changing my life in powerful ways. And then, Jesse and I have both had the opportunity to lead small groups through the program the last few years.

[10:36] - Eric takes us back to his less-compassionate days, and explains what brought him to where he is today.

[14:08] - We hear a story about Eric’s conversation with a friend in a coffee shop.

[16:12] - How did Eric manage to keep living out of the truths of what he had learned in day-to-day life?

[19:11] - I talk about how much the program has changed not only my life, but also those of the women I’ve gotten to walk through it with.

[22:37] - What are some first steps that people can take to get out of living in a rut? Eric shares a lot of practical tools and resources here.

[32:54] - Eric leaves us with a great idea of something that he and his wife do with their kids at the dinner table to teach them how to express their emotions in a healthy way.

Links and Resources:

• Eric Hoffman
• Galatians for You by Tim Keller
• The Prodigal God by Tim Keller
• Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller
• Timothy Keller
• Wholehearted 8-Part Message Series
• The Bible Project: Word Study: Lev - “Heart”
• The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd
• What Am I Feeling? by Dr. Josh Straub and Christi Straub
• Crystal’s Favorite Things on Amazon
• CrystalPaine.com
• MoneyS...

On August 16, 2016, I posted the above picture on Instagram with this caption:

Today is a bittersweet day. After many years of homeschooling, I just dropped the kids off at the new Classical School they are attending this year.

I'm so grateful for those sweet years I had to be a homeschool mom. I'm also grateful for God's direction this year (for a long list of reasons) that a different schooling option is best for our family and our kids.

I won't pretend it's been an easy decision. It's one that we made with a tremendous amount of thought, prayer, discussion, and tears.

Ultimately, we have so much peace as we walk into this new season. There will be new challenges and new opportunities and I'm excited to see what God has in store as we trust Him to lead one step at a time.

Since posting that Instagram post almost three years ago, we've gotten a lot of questions about why we stopped homeschooling and how we knew it was the right decision for our family.

I know that schooling choices and decisions are incredibly personal and can be somewhat controversial, so I wasn't sure that I ever wanted to broach this topic publicly... and I really haven't for 3 years.

But then, we got many requests to interview our kids on the podcast. We decided to move forward with this and I asked you all on Instagram to submit questions you'd like for us to ask them on their podcast interview.

To our surprise, there were SO many questions begging us to talk about the transition from homeschooling to private school and how it was for our kids. We asked the kids if they'd be willing to share -- and they were.

So, enjoy this very honest family conversation around why we stopped homeschooling, how we came to this decision, how it's been for our kids (one child was very, very angry about it!), and the best things and hard things about switching from homeschool to private school.

Ultimately, I hope that this conversation inspires you to be intentional in how you approach schooling choices (and other choices!) for your kids. And that our journey and honesty might be helpful or encouraging to you as you parent your own kids.

In This Episode:

[01:08] - Jesse and I have so much to share with you today -- including some fun adventures from our recent trips to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa.

[08:18] - I share a fun email we received from a listener that proves Jesse is right when he used the word "confluence" in a previous episode and promised that some people use it regularly. (You guys aren't helping me out much!!)

[09:05] - My mobile hotspot and the ability to work on the road is what is saving my life this week!

[11:06] - I started reading The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland by Jim DeFede and the story was insightful and impactful. You can get the book for free right now by signing up for Kindle Unlimited.

[14:21] - Today we're joined by our kids -- Kathrynne, Kaitlynn, and Silas -- and we'll be discussing a much-requested topic: why we stopped homeschooling.

[16:57] - We never expected to stop homeschooling. In fact, we had always planned to homeschool through high school. Then, we started realizing that Kathrynne needed a change.

[17:59] - Kathrynne shares how she felt about her social life and gets really honest about her struggles with social anxiety and awkwardness.

[21:29] - We were so excited to find a school that felt like a great fit -- but we were also scared to announce the change to Kathrynne.

[23:32] - We expected Kathrynne to not be happy about the news, but we were shocked that she was as upset as she was. We ask Kaitlynn and Silas about their reaction to the news that they were starting school as well.

[26:46] - The kids talk about what their first day and first weeks of school were like for them given their homeschool background.

[30:52] - We've loved watching our kids really blossom and come alive in unexpected ways the last three years!

[37:02] - The kids share the harder aspects of going to school like getting up early and having to be away from home all day.

[39:26] - Jesse shares his thoughts on the transition and how it affected our identity as parents. We also discuss our process for evaluating each year and what is best for each child.

Links and Resources

• Minnehaha Falls in Minneapolis, WI
• Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly
• The Day the World Came to T...

Jesse surprised me as we were prepping for this episode by telling me he had recently deleted Facebook off of his phone. I had no idea that he had, but I had noticed he has been knocking things off his to do list right and left.

This week, join us as we share our goals for this summer! You might recall from our recent episodes our theme for the summer is a Slowed Down Summer.

Today, we're talking more about what we plan for that to look like and the specific goals I set for the summer to help me live out that theme. Some of these goals might seem -- at first -- a bit contradictory to the idea of slowing down, but I share more in this episode how these will help me walk out my hope for slowing down this summer.

I set a running goal -- which is something that is so cathartic to me! And a reading goal, which is also something that helps me to slow down. In this episode, I share about how I'm incorporating more reading into my day. I also set a reading goal for two chapter books I want to finish with the younger kids + some preschool I want to finish with them over the summer.

Finally, we are hoping to plan in lots of dates as a couple and dates with the older kids. I set specific numbers to shoot for, but it's mostly just able intentionally prioritizing time to be together and have fun together.

What are your goals and hopes for this summer? I'd love to hear!

In This Episode

[0:35] - Our goals for a slowed-down summer!

[1:42] - A little update on savoring vs. surviving graduation week.

[7:45] - I recently finished reading Win at Work and Succeed at Life, which challenged me to rethink overworking and balance business with personal priorities.

[10:31] - My summer goals focus on working less and slowing down, with specific objectives to achieve this.

[11:11] - Goal #1: Run 100 miles and why it doesn't contradict slowing down.

[14:33] - Goal #2: finish 50 books!

[18:30] - Goal #3: finish reading Farmer Boy and Little House on the Prairie with the younger kids.

[19:44] - Goal #4: finish reading the Biggest Story Bible with the younger kids and Goal #5: go on eight dates with her older kids.

[21:21] - Goal #6: Goal on 15 dates with Jesse.

[22:25] - Prioritizing one-on-one dates with the older kids, embracing flexibility while aiming for monthly quality time together.

[24:59] - Jesse hopes to finally finish Three Felonies a Day this summer.

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Books

• Win At Work And Succeed At Life: 5 Principles To Free Yourself From The Cult Of Overwork by Michael Hyatt & Megan Hyatt Miller
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