#41 The Elegant Pivot Series: Master Your Stories
06/15/22 • 64 min
In my latest podcast episode, I again welcome daughter and colleague Jen Maneely. We are continuing our series on The Elegant Pivot. In this episode, we talked about the Chapter titled Master Your Stories.
We had SO many stories about making up stories. All too often, we think we know what the other person is thinking or why they said something. More often than not, we are missing the full picture. In fact, I would dare say we never have the full picture, because we can’t truly get inside someone else’s head.
The problem with making up stories is when we act on them as if they are true. I’ve done this myself way too many times to count, often with hilarious results. We tell a couple of those types of stories. But we also talked about situations where our stories caused us grief.
Making up stories about why something is happening or why someone is doing something is completely natural. Getting invested in those stories as if they are true – rather than treating them like the theories that they are – is at the root of many of our breakdowns.
Assuming positive intent is the best move I know to interrupt the cycle. It’s a simple move – but as my book explains, certainly not easy. We get very real in this episode about the challenges of moving from believing our stories to testing our stories.
I would love to hear what you like about this conversation. All you have to do is go to the podcast page on my website at www.lynncarnes.com and click the “send a voicemail button” on the right-hand side of the page. Super easy to do and it helps me know what to bring you in future episodes.
Of course, also share this episode with your colleagues and friends. I hope you enjoy this episode.
Additional Topics
- We are always going to tell a story, can we not be invested in the story?
- Being invested in the story means we can’t change it
- Context matters in the creation of our stories.
- Instead of making up a story about a situation, when we get an opportunity, we can go ask questions to see what is really going on.
- A lot of our stories come from fear.
- Mastering our stories is a journey and overriding our natural instinct is part of the journey, certainly not the easiest part of the journey.
- What you accuse people of is what you do. Which is a hard pill to swallow.
- A great question is “How is this useful, what does this lead to?”
- Language is generative, “What am I generating?”
- The Story I’m Making up is...
- How do we master and rewrite our stories?
Additional Links
Guest Contact Info:
Website: ManeelyConsulting.com
Email: [email protected]
In my latest podcast episode, I again welcome daughter and colleague Jen Maneely. We are continuing our series on The Elegant Pivot. In this episode, we talked about the Chapter titled Master Your Stories.
We had SO many stories about making up stories. All too often, we think we know what the other person is thinking or why they said something. More often than not, we are missing the full picture. In fact, I would dare say we never have the full picture, because we can’t truly get inside someone else’s head.
The problem with making up stories is when we act on them as if they are true. I’ve done this myself way too many times to count, often with hilarious results. We tell a couple of those types of stories. But we also talked about situations where our stories caused us grief.
Making up stories about why something is happening or why someone is doing something is completely natural. Getting invested in those stories as if they are true – rather than treating them like the theories that they are – is at the root of many of our breakdowns.
Assuming positive intent is the best move I know to interrupt the cycle. It’s a simple move – but as my book explains, certainly not easy. We get very real in this episode about the challenges of moving from believing our stories to testing our stories.
I would love to hear what you like about this conversation. All you have to do is go to the podcast page on my website at www.lynncarnes.com and click the “send a voicemail button” on the right-hand side of the page. Super easy to do and it helps me know what to bring you in future episodes.
Of course, also share this episode with your colleagues and friends. I hope you enjoy this episode.
Additional Topics
- We are always going to tell a story, can we not be invested in the story?
- Being invested in the story means we can’t change it
- Context matters in the creation of our stories.
- Instead of making up a story about a situation, when we get an opportunity, we can go ask questions to see what is really going on.
- A lot of our stories come from fear.
- Mastering our stories is a journey and overriding our natural instinct is part of the journey, certainly not the easiest part of the journey.
- What you accuse people of is what you do. Which is a hard pill to swallow.
- A great question is “How is this useful, what does this lead to?”
- Language is generative, “What am I generating?”
- The Story I’m Making up is...
- How do we master and rewrite our stories?
Additional Links
Guest Contact Info:
Website: ManeelyConsulting.com
Email: [email protected]
Previous Episode
#40 Robyn Shiller: The Tiny Steps That Make Up Success
My guest for this episode is Robyn Schiller. It was two years ago that I reached out to her husband Warwick Schiller to be a guest on my podcast. He’s a very well-known horse trainer with an extensive video subscription library. Then, a year ago, I got to meet Robyn (and Warwick in person) at the Cactus Reining Classic. We visited after I had gotten to see Robyn ride her reining horse in the show. She mentioned that she used to be in the corporate world, in Human Resources, which definitely made me very interested to talk to her.
I invited Robyn on the podcast because there is always more to success than meets the eye – whether we are talking about her performance in the arena, or in the business that she and Warwick run together. Robyn is the behind-the-scenes force that get things done in their business. Soon, she will also be offering her wisdom alongside Warwick at a clinic they are doing in Australia titled Resolving Anxiety in Horses and Humans Masterclass. She previewed some of what she will be teaching in this podcast, especially about how our survival brain can get activated and what we can do about that.
One of the themes of this conversation was making the unseen visible to others. The magic is often in understanding that behind the slick surface, there is always more than meets the eye. Our conversation ranged among many topics, dancing between horses and humans and especially what we have in common and what we can learn from each other.
There is so much wisdom in this podcast – especially at the end – and if you come away with nothing else, you will learn how it’s the little things that add up to the big things.
Guest contact information: warwickschiller.com
Next Episode
#42 The Elegant Pivot Series: Developing a Spirit of Inquiry
We are finishing up a series that I've been doing with my coworker, colleague, and daughter, Jen Maneely with my book “The Elegant Pivot”. This is a book I wrote and published in 2001. We've been following the five main principles of the elegant pivot around how to assume positive intent. The fifth principle is to develop a spirit of inquiry. And if you haven’t read my book, or need a refresher on the five principles, they are:
And boy, did we dive in today on that. My daughter and I actually had a couple of daughter and mommy moments or mommy daughter moments, however you want to put that, where we discovered where some of our patterns come from, and what patterns have to do with asking questions.
So, we went into everything from how to ask a good question, how to not interrogate somebody, how to recognize when you're feeling vulnerable, and more. I hope you enjoy this podcast and I hope you enjoyed this series as well with Jen Maneely.
Creative Spirits Unleashed - #41 The Elegant Pivot Series: Master Your Stories
Transcript
Welcome to Creative Spirits Unleashed where we talk about the dilemmas of balancing work and life. And now, here's your host, Lynn Carnes.
LynnWelcome to the creative spirits unleashed Podcast. I'm Lynn Carnes, your host. In this podcast episode I again welcome my daughter and colleague, Jim Maneely. We are continuing our series on the elegant pivot. In this episode, we talked about the chapter titled mast
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