Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care

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Join us to talk about how kids understand adoption and how best to talk with them about adoption. Our guest is Camillia Whitehead, is a MSW and a licensed clinical social worker, and the Founder of Wise Care Consulting, LLC.
In this episode, we cover:

• How does a child’s understanding of adoption differ by age?
  • Toddlers & Preschoolers
  • School Age
  • Tweens/Teens
  • Young Adults
• How does openness or lack of openness impact a child’s understanding of adoption?
• How does transracial adoption impact a child’s understanding of adoption?
• How to talk about adoption at different ages?
  • What are the important points you want to make sure your child understands at each stage?
• What are some common questions children ask at different developmental stages?
  • Why didn’t my birth parents parent me?
  • Can I go back to my birth parents?
  • Do my birth parents think about me?
  • Did my birth parents love me?
  • Who do I look like?
  • Why did they parent my sibling?
  • How am I like my birth parents, and how am I different.”
• Why not wait for your child to ask questions and then talk with them?
• What if your child shows little or no interest in their adoption story?
• What to say when you know very little about the birth parents?
• How can you talk about adoption and the role of the birth father with young children who do not understand the concept of sex?
• How to handle the “You’re not my real mom or dad” statement?
• How to handle hard birth parent stories?
• What to do when your cultural or ethnic background is strongly prejudiced against adoption?
  • Don’t outright lie.
  • Think through carefully what you are afraid of by telling the child.
    • That the child will be rejected by extended family?
    • That you will be judged or rejected by extended family?
    • That the child will share the information to others in your community?
  • Accept that the odds are extremely high that the child is going to find out from over-the-counter DNA testing or someone in the family will tell or from 8th grade biology assignment.
  • Accept that at some point the failure to tell is the same as lying. When adult adoptees who were not told by their parents were interviewed later in life they almost universally say that it was the lie that hurt the most and did the most damage to their relationship with their parents.
  • Start laying the groundwork at an early age.
    • Families are formed in different ways.
    • All types of families are good.
    • We had trouble having kids and we were so happy when you arrived.
    • Try to establish connections with other adoptive parents
    • Point out adoptive families when you see them in real life or TV or movies
  • Review your reasons for not wanting to tell and decide on an age that you will tell.
  • Explain their adoption story.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Does your child struggle with anger, and do you struggle with how to help them? Tune in to our discussion today with Jessica Sinarski, a certified adoption therapist and author of the picture books Riley the Brave and Your Magic Backpack series. She also serves on the editorial board for The Journal of Child and Adolescent Trauma.
In this episode, we cover:

• All kids get angry, in fact, all people get angry, so how do we know if our kid has bigger issues with anger management?
• Why do kids who have experienced trauma often struggle with anger?
• Does it matter the type of trauma: abuse, neglect, adoption?
• Does the prenatal environment that is not ideal (maternal stress, alcohol or drug exposure, poor nutrition) impact a child’s or youth’s emotional regulation?
• Why do kids seem to overreact—big feelings for what feels like a small issue?
• What are some typical triggers that elicit big responses?
• Steps for managing natural feelings of anger.
  • Name with few words.
  • Working our way back to calm. Co-regulate back to calm. Suggest a break, model deep breath, let’s stop and think, etc.
  • Give a chance to re-do. Fixing the thing that they broke.
  • Read books about regulating emotions.
  • Lots of physical activity.
• Steps for maintaining connections with big angry feelings.
  • Compassion for yourself. It feels hard because it is hard. They have a lot to be angry about.
  • PACE-playful, acceptance, curious, empathy (from Daniel Hughes)
• What do you mean by upstairs and downstairs brains? (from Dan Seigel)
• How do we help our kids understand why they are reacting the way they do and how to handle their feelings better?

Resources:

• Brave Brains
• Hands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi (ages 0-6)
• My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss (ages 0-6)
• Ravi’s Roar by Tom Percival
• Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang
• Gorilla’s Muscles
• The Riley the Brave series (including Riley the Brave’s Big Feelings Activity Book)
• Hello, Anger (age 7-13)
• Samantha Snowden’s Anger Management Workbook for Kids (age 7-13)
• Your Amazing Brain: The Epic Illustrated Guide (age 8+)
• “Unpacking Anger” (blog post with additional recommended

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering adopting or fostering? Or taking in a relative's child? Do you suspect or know that the birth mom used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy? Join us today to learn how these substances might impact the child and how you parent. Our guest is Dr. Lisa Prock, a Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician, Director of the Developmental Medicine Center at Children’s Hospital, Boston, and Clinical Director of the Translational Neuroscience Center at Harvard Medical School and Children's Hospital Boston. She is an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School.
In this episode, we cover:

• Foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and caregivers often need to consider whether they are the right family to parent a child with prenatal alcohol and drug exposure.
• The US government estimates that about 10% of children born in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol, drugs, or both. How common is prenatal substance exposure for foster and adoptive children, as well as those kids living with grandparents and other relatives?
• Are there signs or symptoms with a child that may have been exposed to alcohol and drugs in utero, absent confirmation from the mother?
• What is known about the amount or timing of alcohol or drug use and the impact on the baby or child?
• Short-term and long-term impacts of the following substances:
  • Alcohol-does it matter the type of alcohol?
  • Methamphetamines
  • Adderall, Concerta, Ritalin or other ADHD medication
  • Opiates/opioids-prescription
  • Opioids-illegal
  • Heroin
  • Fentanyl
  • Methadone, Suboxone, Subutex, Buprenorphine
  • Marijuana
  • Ecstasy, inhalants
  • Tobacco-smoking cigarettes or vaping
• How common is dual exposure/polysubstance exposure—alcohol and drugs?
• Do children who have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs have a greater risk of abusing drugs in adolescence or adulthood?
• How do you get a child diagnosed with prenatal substance exposure?
• What should parents consider when trying to decide if they are the right family for a child with prenatal exposure?
• Creating a Family’s Prenatal Substance Exposure Trainings for Parents, Daycare/Preschool Teachers, and Afterschool Staff.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Have you ever wondered if your struggle to conceive could be caused by your genes? Today we're going to answer that question and more about genetics and fertility by talking with two certified genetic counselors with CooperGenomics: Sharyn Lincoln and Sheila Johal.
In this episode, we cover:
Infertility is a disease affecting nearly 7% of all couples. It is a highly heterogeneous pathology with a complex etiology that includes both environmental and genetic factors. In this episode we will be focusing on the genetics.
What percentage of infertility can be attributed to our genes?
Genetics and Female Infertility

47,XXX (trisomy X; Triple X)
⁃ What is trisomy X?
⁃ How common is 47,XXX?
⁃ What are the symptoms of Triple X syndrome?
⁃ How common is infertility in women with Triple X?
⁃ Will the children conceived also have this chromosomal abnormality?
Turner syndrome (monosomy X)
⁃ What is Turner Syndrome?
⁃ How common is it?
⁃ What are the symptoms?
⁃ How common is mosaicism with this chromosomal defect?
⁃ How common is infertility in women with monosomy X?
⁃ Will the children conceived also have this chromosomal abnormality?
Single Gene Disorders
⁃ Fragile X (Primary Ovarian Failure)
⁃ Premutation
⁃ Galactosemia
⁃ Others
Polygenic, complex female infertility (environment & genetics)
⁃ Endometriosis
⁃ Is there a genetic link?
⁃ Fibroids
⁃ Is there a genetic link?
⁃ Hereditary leiomyomatosis and renal cell cancer (HLRCC)
⁃ Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)
⁃ Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH)
⁃ Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI)
⁃ Is there a genetic link?
⁃ XXX syndrome
⁃ Fragile X syndrome
Genetics and Male Infertility

Klinefelter syndrome
⁃ What is Klinefelter syndrome, 47,XXY?
⁃ How common is Klinefelter syndrome?
⁃ What are the symptoms of Klinefelter syndrome other than infertility?
⁃ Is it possible for a man with Klinefelter syndrome to reproduce?
⁃ Will the children also have chromosomal abnormalities?
47,XYY syndrome
⁃ How common is XYY syndrome?
⁃ What are the symptoms of XYY syndrome other than infertility?
⁃ Will the children also have chromosomal abnormalities?
Structural chromosomal abnormalities (SCAs) include deletions, duplications,
translocations (balanced, imbalanced, and Robertsonian), and inversions.
⁃ Y chromosome micro deletions
Single Gene Disorders (Cystic Fibrosis)
Why has it been so hard to pinpoint the exact genes associated with male and female
fertility?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Join our discussion with an adult adoptee about her search for her birth family and her identity. We will talk with Julie Ryan McGue, a domestic adoptee and an identical twin. She is the author of Twice a Daughter, which explores her coming to terms with her adoption and her search for her birth parents, and Twice the Family, which explores more of her relationship with her adoptive family.
In this episode, we cover:

• Tell us your adoption story.
• What role did adoption play, if any, in your childhood?
• Feelings of needing to be perfect.
• Fantasizing about birth family.
• When did you begin to search for your birth parents?
• Was searching for your birth family something you knew you would do from a young age?
• After considerable effort, you located your birth mother. At first, she said she did not want contact. How did that leave you feeling?
• After you had phone calls and met, you didn’t want to tell her much about your adoptive parents.
• How did your mom (your adoptive mom) react to your search and when you found your birth mother?
• How do you wish she had reacted?
• What happened with your search for your birth father?
• Did you feel the same sense of shame, embarrassment, and rejection?
• Your birth mom’s reticence to help you find your birth father and your continued search caused a rift in your relationship. How is the relationship now?
• The tension between the birth parents’ right to privacy vs. the adoptee’s right to know.
• Your experience with online adoptee forums.
• The primal wound.
• Importance of adoptee support groups.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building