Crafting Solutions to Conflict

:Trauma plays a significant and underappreciated role in conflict. What triggers us and what triggers others is a reflection of our past traumatic experiences: as individuals, as descendants, and as a reflection of our times. Monica Clare is a mediator and leadership coach who focuses on family businesses. We discuss her personal experiences and the methodologies she uses. Learn more about Otto Scharmer’s Theory U here: https://www.ottoscharmer.com/theoryu and The Presencing Institute here: https://www.presencing.org/. Learn more about Thomas Huebl and his work on healing collective trauma and the Collective Trauma Integration Process here: https://thomashuebl.com/. The work of Clare Graves led to the development of the theory of Spiral Dynamics; Ken Wilber built on that theory with his Integral Theory.

Learn more about Monica at her website or on LinkedIn: https://www.monica-clare.ca/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/monica-clare-508a842/ . You can contact her here: [email protected].

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Richard has extensive experience in mediation within the context of litigation: by court rule, a judge’s order or suggestion, or on the parties’ own initiative. We discuss the advantages of working with a skilled mediator in commercial litigation matters. We also discuss how family business mediation differs from a purely commercial scenario.

You can learn more about Richard’s work at his website: https://www.lutringeradrconsulting.com/ . You can reach him by email here: [email protected]

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Crystal Thorpe is an experienced mediator whose areas of expertise include Elder and Adult Family Mediation. We talk about what it is, and how it helps families work through an immediate dispute regarding an older loved one. And how it can help families get better at handling conflict in the future.

You can learn more about Crystal’s work and reach her through https://agreementresources.com/ and http://www.elderdecisions.com/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Cash Nickerson’s latest book, Negotiation as a Martial Art, describing the power of asking “why” and listening with curiosity and patience to what you hear – including giving the other person plenty of time to respond. He’s not so sure about how to separate the people from the problem, as suggested in Getting to Yes: sometimes the people are the problem. And yes, you can negotiate with bullies – it just takes some extra thought.

You can reach him and learn more about his books at https://cashnickerson.com/. You can reach him at [email protected]

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

My guest last time, Pattie Porter, talked about Verbal Akido. One point that Pattie made is that something that feels like an “attack” may not be intended to be one. As is true with so much in communications that don’t feel comfortable, I would do well to take a beat, pause for a moment, gather myself.... And think. First, why do I feel attacked? What is it in me that was struck? Next, it is a legitimate criticism? Is it valid? Now, how can I react? If it does hit the mark, can I acknowledge that to the other person? Can I learn something here? Can I resist becoming defensive and rejecting the idea? At the other extreme, can I resist descent into beating up on myself so much that I can’t absorb the benefit of the criticism?

Of course, sometimes the speaker could be more thoughtful. If we want it to have a desirable impact, we should make the effort to choose our words carefully.

And let’s not forget the tone. Our tone of voice – in spoken language or written – carries at least as much weight as our words and usually more. Our facial expressions, our body language --both speak volumes.

We can be benefit by being more careful in the messages we send and in how we receive them.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.