Couple of Blokes

We're really looking forward to this weeks show, lots to get through, might be a big one!

Marko's come in with a scar on his noggin this week, he explains how he got it, and it's a classic example of a bloke in his 50's being dumb. But the scar is not the most interesting thing about the boys appearance today - Ox has brought a cape in, which was given to him by Pistol Pete who listens to the podcast - and Ox decides to do the pod today wearing the cape. But it gets worse - Ox admits to wearing the cape elsewhere. Embarrassing but funny.

Marko reckons Ox looks like a bloke out of Puppetry of the Penis, which leads to an inappropriate conversation about the sort of stuff the Puppetry guys do. Ox makes the big claim that Puppetry of the Penis played for Prince (now King) Charles and Camilla.

Ox has a Civil Selfishness scenario to do with coffee shops and public holiday surcharges. Marko follows up with a Civil Selfishness scenario of his own, this one is a shocker that you will be horrified by - we decide to get Seb Costello from ACA involved in this one to sort it out.

Marko was in Canberra a couple of weeks ago with the great Wayne Schwass, and went to Question Time at Parliament House. He was unimpressed with some of the behaviour that he saw from the pollies - but he was impressed by one person, and he thinks that this could be inspiration for a new role for Ox. Unsurprisingly, Ox reckons he's the bloke for the job. This could be big.

Marko remembered that Ox never gave us an update on the darts tournament grand final a month or so back, so he wants a blow by blow description of how the big dance went.

In the last fortnight there has been big news on the Allens Lolly decision to shut down Fantales. Ox isn't happy about it, and wants to know what Marko and the family are doing about it. Marko reckons Fantales and Minties are the two most dangerous lollies in the world.

We've had a lot of feedback this past week on the show, and there is some feedback on Marko's shandy fixation - Ox gives the results of a poll that he put out on Twitter on who drinks shandys, it doesn't come out well for Marko. Plenty of other feedback, keep it coming the boys love it.

Ox reveals that he reckons he could be on Neighbours and that Toadie can't act - he wishes he was on the episode where Scott married Charlene, acting the role of Scott.

And we get the results of the poll on how you position your 6 O'Clock. Ox and Marko are amazed at the results.

Marks probation is over, following his 2-week ban for stealing jokes from Kevin Bloody Wilson, so he can do the joke this week. His first one average, his next one not bad, but his third one very funny.

Follow a Couple of Blokes, Couple of Beers and get involved with the show on social media here: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. We'd love you to subscribe, rate and review the podcast - and if you feel like helping out a couple of mates, tell a friend about the podcast and help spread the word.

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Live from the Railway Hotel today, and Ox thinks it is breaking news that the Railway Hotel is near a railway line. Who'd have thought. Marko wants to know is there any Railway Hotel anywhere in Australia that is not close to a railway.

Ethan (from behind the bar) brings the beers around to the boys - a pint for Ox and a pot for Marko. Ethan says shandys are a big seller, which Marko loves, until Ox asks a very pertinent question showing Marko to be a lightweight. It may lead to a name change for the podcast.

Marko raises a Civil Selfishness question to do with council street sweepers, as he is concerned about leaves in the street and how they're handled. First world problem really, which Ox reckons is a fun new segment for the podcast. Ox then raises a 'Can We Still Be Friends' question about Hillsong and Scientology. Both the boys feel strongly about this one.

Marko tells a great story about Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman and Stuart Appleby in Sydney. Ox then backs it up with a story about DJ Generic, Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift.

Plenty of feedback this week as usual, we love it, keep it coming. Particularly if you want to give Ox or Marko a whack for something dumb they've said. Shouldn't be too hard to find something.

This week, we have a new segment from Marko called 'ridiculous sports stories', and we hear a ripper from Marko's mate Biscuit. It is fantastic, strap yourself in, and keep in mind as you listen that Biscuit is 5 foot 7 inches. There is video evidence, which we'll whack on the socials. If you have a ridiculous sports story, we want to hear about it on the socials.

Homework update. Marko gives us a Ricky Ponting update. Ox gives us a Heather Mackay update, and it's not good. We also hear an update on Rodney Rude and Kevin Bloody Wilson. Marko gives us an update on the Great White Nudist, and Daniel Ricciardo.

Ox does reveal a big name that he has arranged to come on the pod in the next couple of weeks. A massive AFL star.

Has Marko done his window washer homework? Unsurprisingly, no. Slack-arse.

And it's the last day or two for our competition to have lunch with Ox and Marko - share the pod, write a joke, and you might score an invite!

Joke this week. Marko is still banned for plagiarism, so Ox gives us a gag today.

Follow a Couple of Blokes, Couple of Beers and get involved with the show on social media here: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. We'd love you to subscribe, rate and review the podcast - and if you feel like helping out a couple of mates, tell a friend about the podcast and help spread the word.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay so today we're having a couple of quiet brewskis at the Chelsea Heights Hotel in the Sports Bar.

Ox and Marko are trying to figure out who the most famous person from the Chelsea area and surrounds might be, Lethal Leigh Matthews gets a run - and we discover that neither Ox or Marko have heard of the rock band Jet, who are from nearby in Dingley, and who had a massive hit with 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl'!

But no time for that. We have a potential defamation situation on our hands that requires sensitivity in dealing with. Darren the Banker calls through, and he is seriously considering suing Marko for defamation. Ox reminds Darren that the Demons fanbase is heavily made up of lawyers. Find out what has happened on this weeks episode, and whether Marko apologises or not.

Ox reckons that he is a great 'apologiser', and that he can deliver a sincere sounding apology, or statement, like nobody else, and gives an example by pumping up Collingwood supporters. It sounds impressive and sincere....but is it?

Civil Selfishness. Ox has an issue with teenagers and something they do. Marko disagrees, until Ox clarifies one small point, at which point Marko changes his mind. Sounds like challenging conversations with a certain teenager in the Schwarz household.

Which leads on to when you know you are the head of your family, or when the kids assume the role.

Marko brings up a story from a previous episode about using the line about being the heir to the Allens Lolly fortune when he was chatting to the ladies, when he was a younger, single guy. And he's now thinking that it is time to pass on this approach to his 14-year old son. Unsurprisingly, Ox thinks it's a ripper idea.

Ox had a disaster at home. He has ruined his favourite shoes, and at the same time has damaged the carpet in the house. But, from this mishap has come a moment of genius, it has led to a business idea of Ox's, one that he reckons is a monty and will make him 'billions'.

Plenty of feedback from you on todays show, which we always love.

Ox talks about going to blue light disco's when he was 8-years old - sounds very early in life to do that, but he reckons kids in Beechworth grew up fast.

Marko poses a 'Can We Still Be Friends' scenario to Ox about aliens. Sounds like a joke, but Marko is seriously asking about aliens. Ridiculous and embarrassing.

Marko is on 2-weeks probation for stealing jokes. So Ox takes care of the joke today, and gives us a couple.

And time is running out to enter our competition to have lunch and a couple of beers with Ox and Marko - easy to enter, share the podcast and include a joke.

Follow a Couple of Blokes, Couple of Beers and get involved with the show on social media here: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. We'd love you to subscribe, rate and review the podcast - and if you feel like helping out a couple of mates, tell a friend about the podcast and help spread the word.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And we're back. Live from the Mountain View Hotel, the show gets off to an awkward start when everyone realises that we all forgot to tell them we were coming. But Shaz at the bar helps out nonetheless, and she's a ripper.

Ox has a business idea, selling blue rinse dye for hair. Marko is polite about this idea, because Ox has turned up in a grumpy mood - he's got a problem at home with his washer and dryer which has led to an awkward underpants situation, we can't even try to describe it, it's quite ridiculous. Ox wants to know if you can still be friends with someone who does what he has done with his underpants.

Ox and Marko discuss trust. Workplace, relationships, golf course. Ox has a theory on an extremely trusting act that we all do which involves shopping centre carparks. Marko agrees. The boys then discuss the most untrustworthy sportsperson category. Ox decides he wants to call Damien Oliver live on the podcast, Marko makes the call that Ox is not allowed to.

Marko reckons we put a disproportionate amount of trust in dentists. Ox tells a story about when he and Marko went to hospital for a full medical, and the trust required when the exam is occurring.

Marko tells a story about his Dad training greyhounds in East Gippsland, and how they bred the dogs with the help of a bloke called Wristy Rick. Which leads to a chat about jobs that the boys wouldn't want to do. Ox pumps up vets, reckons they've got a tough gig, harder than being a doctor.

Plenty of feedback on the show this week, including the results of our discussion on rangas. Plenty of comments from you on good looking male rangas, Ox and Marko agree that Michael Fassbender is a good looking rooster. We chat to Steve the surveyor who has called in with a civil selfishness suggestion, it has to do with shopping trolleys, the boys agree 100% with Steve. We also get Steve's view on the Brad Pitt / George Clooney poll. Ox and Marko want to know if being a surveyor helps with the ladies. Unsurprisingly it doesn't.

Ox reckons pilots are massive wankers when it comes to using their job as a pickup line.

We get the poll results on our Brad Pitt / George Clooney poll.

Ox discovers that Marko has only ever read three books. And he tells us what they are.

We hear a story about Ox getting abused on the golf course by a bloke who later became one of his best mates. This bloke has given him a massive gobfull of abuse, and they've still become friends.

And we end the show on, surprisingly, not too bad a joke.

Follow a Couple of Blokes, Couple of Beers and get involved with the show on social media here: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. We'd love you to subscribe, rate and review the podcast - and if you feel like helping out a couple of mates, tell a friend about the podcast and help spread the word.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're live in the pub today, having a couple of quiet beers. And we start the show with Marko asking questions about nasal hair, and this flows into an ear hair discussion. Ox reckons it's a mid-40s male issue.

Ox and Marko are live from the Burvale Hotel in Melbourne, a pub where one of Ox's mates lost his two front teeth years ago. Ox is keeping his eyes peeled for them. The Burvale used to be known for being a bit rough, which leads into a chat about what other pubs are famous for - Ox and Marko list a few, and we'd love to hear your thoughts on your local pub - what is it famous for?

Cold beers are delivered by Ebony, so Ox and Marko have a chat about her history working in pubs, and find out what her previous pub, the San Remo, was famous for. Ox reckons Ebony is lovely and can handle herself, but he doesn't like the nose-rings, even though he thinks they work for Ebony. Marko says it's a generational thing. What else can the younger generation do well that a couple of old blokes like Ox and Marko can't do?

Ox tells a story about using a voice to text machine years ago because he couldn't type. It ended badly.

Marko follows up Ox as to whether he's done his homework in getting Heather Mackay on the show. And whether he's arranged Kevin Bloody Wilson or Rodney Rude. Ox has let us down. But has Marko arranged Ricky Ponting? We get an update, and Marko is promising a big outcome. Has Marko arranged the Great White Nudist? Disappointment ensues. Ox has an idea to set up a date with Heather Mackay and Greg Norman.

Ox decides that we need to get Daniel Ricciardo on the show. Let's add him to the list.

Plenty of feedback on the show this week, and we chat to Sean the Storeman who has a couple of things to pick the boys up on, he reckons they've over-promised and under-delivered. He does have a great idea for a competition, which Ox and Marko rate. So here it is: if you share the link to this podcast, with a joke you reckon can work on the show and if yours is the best joke, you might score an invite to have a couple of beers over lunch with Ox and Marko.

But back to feedback....and there is lot of it, some positive, and some not so good as per usual. Last week Ox and Marko posed the idea that attractive red-headed women are plentiful, but attractive red-headed blokes are few and far between. No time to discuss on the pod this week, but we'll get some of your ideas next week.

Follow a Couple of Blokes, Couple of Beers and get involved with the show on social media here: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. We'd love you to subscribe, rate and review the podcast - and if you feel like helping out a couple of mates, tell a friend about the podcast and help spread the word.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.