Counselling Tutor

In the tenth episode of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Rory Lees-Oakes take a close look at Albert Ellis's rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT), while Ken Kelly explores endings in counselling. In 'Ask Ken and Rory', our presenters debate ethics versus culture in counselling. REBT Rory introduces the modality of REBT using an anecdote from his own life, based on witnessing a car accident and talking to one of the drivers afterwards. New York-based psychologist Albert Ellis, who is generally considered to be a key originator of cognitive-behavioural therapies, developed REBT (originally known just as 'rational emotive therapy': RET). Rory explains the concept of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), which include: overgeneralisation filtering all-or-nothing thinking personalising catastrophising mind-reading. In REBT, it is believed that an activating (A) event leads to a faulty belief (B) that results in consequences (C). An REBT therapist would look for the belief, and dispute (D) this using evidence (E). Thus, the therapist seeks to remove irrational beliefs and replace these with healthier, more evidence-based patterns. Rory refers to Karen Horney's work on 'the tyranny of the shoulds', and to Albert Ellis and Robert Harper's book, A Guide to Rational Living (Image Book Company, 1969). He concludes that REBT, as a less complex modality than humanistic or psychodynamic therapy, focuses on the client's belief and invites them to ask themselves: 'Is there another explanation?' Skill of Ending in Counselling "Termination is more than an act signifying the end of therapy; it is an integral part of the process of therapy and, if properly understood and managed, may be an important factor in the instigation of change." Irvin Yalom (1975, p. 365) Ending the counselling relationship is sometimes called 'termination'. Endings in any part of life can be difficult, especially if unexpected. Some counselling students find endings tricky to navigate, because these are tied into a resistance to change that some clients may feel. Endings can key into our natural tendency to avoid loss. It is therefore important to look at our own feelings about endings, and our experience of these, so developing good self-awareness that can help inform how we approach the ending of the therapeutic relationship with a client. Many complaints submitted to the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) relate to endings being poorly handled or even avoided by therapists. So why do we as humans tend to resist endings? Key reasons include resistance to change and fear of loss. The danger in avoiding endings in counselling is that the client may become dependent on us (and so risk losing their autonomy); Ken describes various warning signs that this may be happening. He goes on to explore best practice when ending a counselling relationship, as well as looking at different types of endings counsellors are likely to encounter: for example, holidays and breaks, planned endings, unplanned endings, and endings of individual sessions. If you, as counsellor, are going to take a holiday or break, it is best practice to tell clients as soon as possible (especially if a client has been coming to you for a long time), so providing the maximum notice. As for planned endings, there are three key stages: assessing the client's readiness to end therapy picking up on any statement by the client that the presenting issues that brought them into counselling are no longer as troublesome empowering the client and aiming for an increase in resilience, linked into the client's self-belief. If possible (within the policy of your agency), it can be helpful to remind the client that they are free to return if they are struggling again in the future. It can be difficult if the agency offers a set number of sessions and the client has heavy material: could you negotiate more sessi...

180 - Teenage Brain Development Idiosyncratic Empathy - Interview with ACTO Chair Episode 180 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast opens with Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discussing the skill of idiosyncratic empathy. Then, in 'Digital Counselling Revolution', Rory interviews Adrian Rhodes, Chair of the Association for Counselling and Therapy Online (ACTO). Finally, in 'Practice Matters', we have another guest - this time Kairen Griffiths, speaking about teenage brain development. Idiosyncratic Empathy (starts at 1.30 mins) In the Student Check-In, Ken and Rory explore idiosyncratic empathy, which is particularly relevant in both skills practice and written assignments. Areas of this topic covered in the discussion include what it is and what it is not, examples of interventions that would show strong idiosyncratic empathy, and examples of those that would not (for example, 'rescuing' responses). Understanding the term 'idiosyncratic empathy' can be made easier by breaking it down into the two words it comprises. The term was coined by person-centred therapist Jerold Bozarth, who asserted that empathy was dynamic, changing in line with the individual client and their specific situation. This takes empathy to a deeper level, beyond the mere reflection of words to a more personal and individualistic level that is different in each therapeutic relationship. In other words, empathy is as varied as the different clients we are likely to meet. You can download a free handout on idiosyncratic empathy here or through Counselling Study Resource (CSR). And if you're keen to learn more about this important skill, you might like to get hold of a copy of Ken's book, Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide, which includes a whole chapter on idiosyncratic empathy. In the CSR, you can also hear explanations of the full range of counselling skills - with audio files illustrating them in simulated sessions. Interview with ACTO Chair (starts at 17.10 mins) BESTSELLEROnline & Telephone Counselling Book Available in Paperback and Kindle Includes FREE COMPANION COURSE that you can do online to underpin and strengthen your learning Click Here to See More In Rory's interview with ACTO Chair Adrian Rhodes, you can hear about: the history of ACTO its founding members ACTO's purpose membership levels and what they mean benefits of ACTO membership similarities and differences between face-to-face and online therapy the therapeutic relationship when working online client presentations for which online therapy is particularly helpful. You can read more about ACTO on its website, which there are plans to develop in the near future. You might also like to consider our full course, Online and Telephone Counselling, which has already trained thousands of therapists in online working. We are a recognised ACTO Online Training Provider and this course enables counsellors who successfully complete it to join ACTO at Level 1, with a subsequent option to take the assessment for ACTO Level 2 Professional Membership. Teenage Brain Development (starts at 32.40 mins) Rory talks to Kairen Griffiths, who has recently recorded a fascinating lecture for Counsellor CPD on teenage brain development. Kairen and Rory talk about what you need to know to be able to work with teenagers or their carers, including: how and when the teenage brain develops the ways in which the development of the teenage brain may affect mood and behaviour. The lecture will be invaluable for counsellors working with teenagers and also for those working with adults whose presenting issues relate to teenagers, supporting you to be able to offer ideas and strategies to help both these client groups. Free Handout Download Idiosyncratic Empathy Click Here to Download Free Handout Links and Resources Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource

223 - Counselling Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Ego States in Transactional Analysis - Regulating Yourself in the Therapy Room In Episode 223 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly are back with three new topics: In this week's 'Counselling Foundations', we look at the ego states in transactional analysis. Then in 'Focus on Self', we'll think about self-regulation within our sessions. And finally in 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Del Beach-Campbell on counselling male survivors of sexual abuse. The Ego States in Transactional Analysis [starts at 01:59 mins] Counselling Foundations is sponsored byCounselling Skills Academy Learn counselling techniques by seeing counselling skills used in real sessions by qualified therapists.Real sessions - real-life presentations - real skills. Click Here for More Information In this section, listen as Rory and Ken discuss Eric Berne's Pack Ego Model (PAC Model): In its most simplistic form, the model is split into these three states: the adult ego state the child ego state the parent ego state If a person is in any one of these states permanently, it may lead to miscommunications and disagreements. Your client will want an adult with them in the therapy room (in the adult ego state). The child ego state means you're functioning without your critical thinking, and you may not make the best decisions. A healthy personality will go through all the states. Within the adult state, you can acknowledge the other states - you're not blinkered like you may be in the other states. Regulating Yourself in the Therapy Room [starts at 21:32 mins] Get on-demand Certified CPD that is implementable in your practiceCounsellor CPD Library Over 150 hours of on-demand CPD lectures to help you stay current with your CPD ethical requirements Support, and be supported, by thousands of other counsellors as a member of the exclusive online community. Access your learning anytime you want ... anywhere you choose ... using any device type - desktop or mobile. Click Here for More Information When feelings arise during a session that you know shouldn't be there, it can be quite difficult to navigate. In this section, Rory and Ken discuss some actions you may want to consider taking if this does happen to you: Make sure you've had good personal therapy and you have good supervision. Take action if you're struggling to regulate. If it arises amidst a session: see it, acknowledge and recognise it, then put it to one side (bracket it off) while with the client. However, make sure you go back to it later. It's okay to feel these feelings - but you can't let them overwhelm you. It isn't a weakness. If it persists, maybe seek personal therapy. A way to recognise that you have been 'breached' by client material is that you may notice you are no longer in the clients' frame of reference, but your own. Counselling Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse [starts at 36:52 mins] The National Counselling Society is proud to sponsor Practice Matters. NCS are really excited to have launched their Children and Young People Therapist Register for counsellors working with the younger age group. To find out more, visit nationalcounsellingsociety.org or simply click the button below. Click Here for More Information In this week's 'Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Del Beach-Campbell about counselling male survivors of sexual abuse. The key points of this discussion include: Men are more often spoken of as perpetrators - but we still can't overlook the minority. Often asked why they didn't fight back/defend themselves. Sexual violence is about power more than anything else - not necessarily to do with the sexuality of either the victim or the perpetrator. Some misconceptions include: Sexuality - it brings questions for the victim on how they feel about their sexuality,

Counselling Boys and Men Part 2 - Managing Boundaries in Counselling In Episode 321 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly guide us through this week's three topics: Firstly in 'Ethical, Sustainable Practice' we look at effective online counselling for neurodivergent clients. Then in 'Practice Matters', Rory interviews Phil Mitchell about part two of his lecture on counselling boys and men. And lastly in 'Student Services', Rory and Ken discuss managing boundaries in counselling. Online Counselling for Neurodivergent Clients [starts at 03:41 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken explore the unique considerations of offering online counselling for neurodivergent clients. Key points include: The rapid growth of online and telephone counselling since COVID-19 has made it mainstream in therapeutic practice. Specific needs of neurodivergent clients in online settings, including difficulties with phone-based sessions and sensory preferences. The importance of reasonable adjustments such as offering asynchronous communication (e.g. email) or allowing sessions without video. Risk management considerations, especially with clients at higher risk of mental health challenges, including suicidal ideation. The necessity of formal training for online and telephone counselling. Practical tips: Adapt language, session formats, and response times to suit neurodivergent clients. Include reasonable adjustments in client contracts. Obtain clear emergency contact details for safety. Counselling Boys and Men Part 2 [starts at 29:05 mins] In this week's 'Practice Matters', Rory interviews Phil Mitchell about counselling boys and men, focusing on Phil's two-part CPD lecture series. Phil shares insights into: The importance of using male-centred, action-oriented language to improve engagement. Why traditional therapeutic approaches may not resonate with many male clients. Research supporting a solution-focused, practical counselling style for men. Marketing practices that effectively attract male clients to therapy. Examples of language adjustments include reframing vulnerability as strength and emphasising problem-solving over emotional exploration. Managing Boundaries in Counselling [starts at 55:33 mins] In 'Student Services', Rory and Ken discuss managing boundaries in counselling: Boundaries protect both the client and the therapist, providing a safe and structured environment. Common boundary challenges for students include handling informal counselling requests from friends or family and unexpected encounters with clients outside therapy settings. Strategies for addressing boundary breaches include revisiting contracts and consulting with your supervisor. Flexibility in boundaries, such as allowing reasonable adjustments for neurodivergent clients, can support therapeutic success. Practical advice: Use clear, mutually agreed-upon boundaries as part of initial contracting. When unexpected situations arise, discuss and revise boundaries in supervision. Incorporate boundary management discussions into professional development and supervision sessions. Links and Resources Phil Mitchell Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Shop Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

130 - How to Set Boundaries as a Counsellor Contracting with Your Supervisor - Considerations When Placement-Hunting In episode 130 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss supervision contracts. 'Check-In with CPCAB' then looks at what to consider when looking for a placement. Finally, the presenters explore how to set boundaries as a counsellor, to prevent/manage situations where clients push the boundaries of the counselling relationship. Contracting with Your Supervisor (starts at 1.00 mins) The question was asked on the Counselling Tutor Facebook page of whether a clinical supervisor can increase their fee without warning supervisees. Ken and Rory talk about the acceptability of this. As a commercial agreement, a supervision contract is seen as an intention to create legal relations. In drawing up and working within a contract, supervisors should model good practice to their supervisees. It is inevitable that supervisors will sometimes need to raise their prices, for example to keep up with inflation, but they should ideally consult with existing supervisees about this or - as a minimum - provide reasonable notice. Some supervisors like to build into the contract an annual review of its terms and conditions. The arrangement for how a supervisor would inform supervisees of any planned changes to the contract should itself be specified in the contract. Other important areas that you may wish to check are covered in your supervision contract are what happens when your supervisor goes away, and when you have an urgent issue requiring immediate discussion and they are unavailable. Do you have a question you'd like to hear answered in the podcast? If so, come along to our Facebook page and post it there. We choose all our questions for the podcast (including those we ask CPCAB) from those received through this group. Check-In with CPCAB: Considerations When Placement-Hunting (starts at 10.35 mins) Rory speaks to Kelly Budd (Head of Qualifications) at CPCAB (Counselling & Psychotherapy Central Awarding Body) about looking for placements as a student counsellor. Sometimes, students ask why students can't set up in private practice to get their placement hours. Kelly explains that student counsellors really do need the support and infrastructure of a counselling agency, where there is so much learning to be done. Colleges are sometimes asked by students why it couldn't run its own placements. However, this would be seen as unethically close to the course provision, risking dual relationships and conflicts of interest. Moreover, there is learning in looking for and finding your own placement. This process also allows individual students the autonomy to choose placements that fit their own values and interests. Some Things to Consider When Looking for a Placement A good starting point when looking for a placement is to think whether there is a particular type of client group or issue you would be interested in working with. Do your research on agencies in your area that might offer placements in this field, and then approach them in a way that is tailored to their organisation. Don't just send out a standard blanket letter - this will be obvious to the recipients, who are unlikely to take it seriously. In your approach, make sure you sell yourself - remembering too that this works both ways: the agency needs student counsellors too. As Rory reminds us, student counsellors - while not experienced yet in the world of counselling and psychotherapy - are seen as being at the peak of their learning arc, and so desirable to have within the organisation. There are lots of different types of interview process: if you are invited to interview, you might like to ask what will be involved, to help you prepare thoroughly. If you're unsuccessful with one application, try to learn from this and not get disheartened. It is all experience, which can be used to help you with your next one. Last but not least,