Strategies for Success After Divorce with Heather Tannenbaum

01/23/25 • 25 min

In this conversation, Heather Tannenbaum shares her journey from experiencing divorce to becoming a divorce coach. She discusses the importance of co-parenting coaches, the dynamics of building a co-parenting team, and how to use divorce as an opportunity for personal growth. Heather emphasizes the significance of putting children first, navigating toxic relationships, and the ongoing nature of co-parenting. She provides insights on creating effective parenting plans, communication strategies, and the importance of self-care for co-parents.
Learn more about Heather Tannenbaum’s book and coaching practice: https://reconstructinghappy.com/

Read Heather’s article on the Best Interest Blog, “How to Avoid Divorce Court and Build a Brighter Future”: https://bestinterest.app/avoid-divorce-court-and-build-a-brighter-future/
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Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/HZHQr74O_1Q
Keywords
divorce, co-parenting, divorce coaching, parenting plans, self-care, communication, family law, personal growth, toxic relationships, parenting strategies

Key Takeaways

Divorce can lead to personal growth and new opportunities.
Co-parenting coaches provide valuable support and perspective.
It's essential to put children's needs first in co-parenting.
Compartmentalizing divorce issues from parenting is crucial.
Creating a detailed parenting plan helps avoid future disputes.
Communication parameters can improve co-parenting dynamics.
Self-care is vital for co-parents to maintain well-being.
Conflict, not divorce, is what negatively impacts children.
Building a supportive co-parenting team can ease the process.
Finding joy and fulfillment outside of parenting is important.

Sound Bites
"What are my next steps here?"
"Maximize the quality of that time."
"You can control your part."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Coaching
02:11 The Journey to Becoming a Divorce Coach
02:39 The Role of Co-Parenting Coaches
03:52 Building a Co-Parenting Team
05:18 Using Divorce as a Growth Opportunity
07:10 Navigating Toxic Co-Parenting Relationships
08:39 The Importance of Prioritizing Children
09:53 Understanding the Long-Term Nature of Co-Parenting
11:27 Common Mistakes in Parenting Plans
13:31 Effective Communication Strategies
15:32 Self-Care for Co-Parents
17:39 Final Thoughts on Divorce and Co-Parenting
24:54 Wrap Up
24:57 Disclaimer

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Key Takeaways

Divorce can lead to personal growth and new opportunities.
Co-parenting coaches provide valuable support and perspective.
It's essential to put children's needs first in co-parenting.
Compartmentalizing divorce issues from parenting is crucial.
Creating a detailed parenting plan helps avoid future disputes.
Communication parameters can improve co-parenting dynamics.
Self-care is vital for co-parents to maintain well-being.
Conflict, not divorce, is what negatively impacts children.
Building a supportive co-parenting team can ease the process.
Finding joy and fulfillment outside of parenting is important.

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Previous Episode

Legal Strategies for Successful Coparenting with Attorney Ron Gore

In this conversation, family attorney Ron Gore discusses the complexities of co-parenting and mediation, sharing insights from his experience in family law. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the role of a guardian ad litem, addressing misconceptions about co-parenting, and recognizing the power dynamics that can arise in high-conflict situations.
Ron offers practical advice for parents navigating these challenges, including the significance of communication, the potential benefits of technology, and the necessity of proper documentation in legal agreements. He also highlights the impact of co-parenting dynamics on children and provides strategies for parents to cope with stress and improve their relationships with their co-parents.
Ron Gore's Coparent Academy can be found at: https://coparentacademy.com/
BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/
Watch This Episode
https://youtu.be/TdUsll79dwk
Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/
Keywords
co-parenting, mediation, family law, guardian ad litem, high conflict, parallel parenting, technology in co-parenting, parenting plans, communication, legal advice
Key Takeaways

Co-parenting requires ongoing communication and adjustment.
Understanding the role of a guardian ad litem is crucial.
Children are individuals with their own needs and preferences.
High conflict situations often require self-reflection and change.
Parallel parenting can be a last resort in high conflict cases.
Children's responses to co-parenting stress vary by age and gender.
Professional support is essential for emotional well-being.
Documentation of agreements is vital for legal protection.
Parenting plans should be tailored to the child's needs and family dynamics.
Focus on behaviors rather than labels when dealing with co-parents.

Sound Bites
"I think I started off a little mercenarily."
"A GAL is a guardian ad litem."
"Don't handle it on your own."
Chapters
00:00 Ron Gore's Journey into Family Law
02:41 Misconceptions in Co-Parenting
02:46 Top Advice for New Co-Parents
24:05 Understanding Co-Parenting Dynamics
26:08 Creating Effective Parenting Plans
28:55 Common Conflicts in Parenting Plans
31:09 The Importance of Communication in Co-Parenting
34:15 Outro

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Next Episode

Understanding Parental Alienation with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker

In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Dr. Amy J.L. Baker, a developmental psychologist and expert in parental alienation, discusses the complexities of co-parenting and its psychological impacts on children. She explains the behaviors that contribute to alienation, how to identify them, and the importance of maintaining healthy communication between co-parents.

Dr. Baker also provides insights into recognizing early warning signs of alienation, distinguishing it from legitimate rejection, and offers practical strategies for navigating high-conflict co-parenting situations. The conversation emphasizes the need for resilience and hope for targeted parents, highlighting that relationships can shift and improve over time.

You can learn more about Dr. Baker’s books, research, and talks at AmyJLBaker.com

BestInterest coparenting app: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axK_1kKjOZ0
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Books by Amy JL Baker:

Keywords
parental alienation, co-parenting, child psychology, family dynamics, psychological maltreatment, parenting strategies, child development, family conflict, emotional well-being, resilience

Key Takeaways

Parental alienation involves one parent fostering a child's unjustified rejection of the other parent.
Not all children who reject a parent are alienated; some may be estranged due to legitimate reasons.
There are 17 primary parental alienation behaviors that parents should be aware of.
It's crucial for parents to reflect on their own behaviors to avoid inadvertently alienating their children.
Distinguishing between alienation and legitimate rejection requires ruling out abuse or neglect
High-conflict co-parents should always show up for their parenting time, regardless of the situation.
When children express negative comments about a parent, responding with care and openness is important.
Maintaining hope and connection with children is vital for targeted parents, even in difficult circumstances.

Sound Bites
"You do have to rule out abuse or neglect."
"Always, always, always show up."

Chapters
02:03 Understanding Parental Alienation
03:38 Identifying Alienating Behaviors
06:31 Recognizing Warning Signs in Children
07:18 Distinguishing Alienation from Legitimate Rejection
10:38 The Impact on Extended Family
12:16 Practical Tips for High-Conflict Co-Parenting
14:40 Navigating Child Behavior During Transitions
16:56 Responding to Negative Comments About Co-Parents
18:56 Navigating Child Relationships and Self-Awareness
20:27 The Role of Perspective in Parenting
21:35 Addressing Co-Parenting Challenges
23:13 Managing Disrespectful Behavior from Children
26:30 Understanding Parental Alienation
30:24 Messages of Hope for Targeted Parents
34:44 Understanding the Dynami

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Coparenting Beyond Conflict - Strategies for Success After Divorce with Heather Tannenbaum

Transcript

00:00:00.469

Heather Tannenbaum works as a divorce, co-parenting, and mediation prep coach. She's an author and she helps divorcing parents, either individually or together, navigate the transition into co-parenting. I'm excited to have her on the podcast today. Let's dive in. Hello, Heather. Welcome to the show and thanks for being here today. Thank you so much for having me. It's nice to be here. I always am curious about people that are in the field of helping co-parents. What