E42: A new sub discusses her experiences 3 months after introducing BDSM into an 11-year relationship

Explicit content warning

03/18/24 • 44 min

1 Listener

Chief and Moineau sit down with Liz who recently introduced D/s into an existing long-term relationship. With humour and candidness, Liz shares their initial steps, challenges, and the profound impact of BDSM on their connection and communication.
From confronting fears and preconceptions to utilising practical tools like the sex menu for negotiating desires, this episode is a testament to the transformative power of open dialogue and trust in rekindling intimacy.
Join us for an enlightening discussion that demystifies the transition into a D/s lifestyle, offering insights and encouragement for those curious about the path of sexual exploration and deepened partnership.

Key Points & Timestamps:

[00:00:26] Liz discusses beginning their D/s journey and overcoming challenges related to depression and medication.
[00:03:21] Chief and Liz reflect on how D/s dynamics can revive intimacy in long-term relationships.
[00:04:30] Introduction of the sex menu as a transformative tool for couples.
[00:06:02] Liz shares the initial conversation with Tom about exploring a D/s relationship, highlighting the importance of communication.
[00:07:59] Transitioning from minimal communication about sex to frequent, open dialogues.
[00:12:34] Liz describes the liberating aspect of submission in her otherwise dominant life roles.
[00:14:17] Discussion on the gradual introduction and evolution of D/s dynamics in a relationship.
[00:15:22] Homework assignments as a method for exploring and expressing desires within the D/s context.
[00:18:40] Overcoming a hiccup in a scene and the importance of safe words and aftercare.
[00:23:20] Liz shares the positive changes and deeper connection in her relationship since embracing D/s, encouraging open discussions about sex and desires.
[00:29:14] Surprises and adjustments made after filling out the sex menu.
[00:32:39] Liz emphasizes the importance of overcoming fear and engaging in open communication with partners.
[00:38:14] Looking forward to the future of their D/s dynamic and exploring new activities together.
[00:41:48] Final thoughts: The significance of communication and not being afraid t

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Key Points & Timestamps:

[00:00:26] Liz discusses beginning their D/s journey and overcoming challenges related to depression and medication.
[00:03:21] Chief and Liz reflect on how D/s dynamics can revive intimacy in long-term relationships.
[00:04:30] Introduction of the sex menu as a transformative tool for couples.
[00:06:02] Liz shares the initial conversation with Tom about exploring a D/s relationship, highlighting the importance of communication.
[00:07:59] Transitioning from minimal communication about sex to frequent, open dialogues.
[00:12:34] Liz describes the liberating aspect of submission in her otherwise dominant life roles.
[00:14:17] Discussion on the gradual introduction and evolution of D/s dynamics in a relationship.
[00:15:22] Homework assignments as a method for exploring and expressing desires within the D/s context.
[00:18:40] Overcoming a hiccup in a scene and the importance of safe words and aftercare.
[00:23:20] Liz shares the positive changes and deeper connection in her relationship since embracing D/s, encouraging open discussions about sex and desires.
[00:29:14] Surprises and adjustments made after filling out the sex menu.
[00:32:39] Liz emphasizes the importance of overcoming fear and engaging in open communication with partners.
[00:38:14] Looking forward to the future of their D/s dynamic and exploring new activities together.
[00:41:48] Final thoughts: The significance of communication and not being afraid t

Support the show

Previous Episode

E41: 8 Common BDSM Myths Debunked

In this episode Chief clears up misconceptions about the BDSM and Dom/sub lifestyle. With a wealth of experience and knowledge, Chief discusses and debunks eight prevalent myths. Whether you're new to the scene or looking for clarity on certain aspects of BDSM, this episode is packed with insights, advice, and a call for open-mindedness and consent above all.
Join us as we explore the true nature of power play and empower you with the knowledge to engage in healthy, consensual BDSM dynamics.

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Next Episode

E43: Finding BDSM Events and Making Friends

Chief and Moineau spill the beans on finding BDSM events and making kinky friends. It’s a no-holds-barred chat filled with personal anecdotes, laughter, and a heap of useful tips for anyone curious about or already exploring the world of BDSM.
They tackle everything from the ins and outs of FetLife to the unique charm of munches, all while keeping it real about the ups and downs of connecting in the community.
Whether you're navigating the scene in a buzzing city or a quiet town, this episode packs everything you need to broaden your kinky social circle and step up your BDSM game, served with a side of cheeky humour and warmth.

[00:01:16] Finding BDSM Events: The hosts discuss starting with FetLife and the significance of attending munches to meet the community.
[00:03:03] Challenges for Women on FetLife: Moineau shares her experiences with the platform, highlighting the importance of safety and privacy.
[00:04:11] Utilizing FetLife for Events, Not Dating: Chief elaborates on how FetLife serves best for finding events rather than forming personal connections.
[00:09:30] Word of Mouth: Emphasizing the value of personal recommendations in discovering events and making kinky friends.
[00:10:06] Collaborative Events: The hosts discuss how event newsletters from groups like Fox Den can introduce attendees to broader networks.
[00:14:00] Finding BDSM-friendly Events on Vanilla Platforms: Suggestions for locating events with a BDSM twist on sites like Eventbrite.
[00:16:48] Gender Dynamics at Munches: An observation on the male-dominated attendance and strategies for women to find more inclusive spaces.
[00:18:00] Alternative Social Gatherings: Exploring book clubs and erotic poetry readings as unconventional avenues to meet kinky individuals.
[00:22:31] Sex-positive Charities as Networking Hubs: Highlighting the role of charities in connecting people with the BDSM community.
[00:24:11] Different Types of BDSM Events: Distinguishing between social, educational, and play-focused events to align with personal interests.
[00:26:53] The Challenge of Finding the Right Events: Acknowledging the effort required to find fitting BDSM events and the rewarding nature of successful conne