Coming Out Pod

It's Valentine's Day, and the pod is serving up a hot 'n spicy episode with educatrix, writer, and former AVN-nominated director, Tina Horn! Regarding her sexuality, Tina says "as soon as I knew that I had a crush on Fox Mulder, I knew I had a crush on Dana Scully." Unfortunately, she was growing up in a small, homophobic town in Northern California, and so the majority of her early sexual partners were restricted to cis men. Tina categorizes those early experiences as "all right," but even as an adolescent, she was already aware of a fundamental truth: "I knew that I really liked sex, and I wanted to do it all the time, and I wanted more variety and, like, different kinds of sex." Tina discusses becoming a sex worker at a time when the Bay Area had a thriving queer and feminist porn scene, and explains why it is so important for her to be out as such, even though her time in the sex industry has "waxed and waned over the years." We also talk about Tina's comic series, "Deprog" (which features a hardboiled leatherdyke detective and a genderqueer femme fatale!), and her upcoming book of fetish cultural criticism, "Why Are People Into That?" based on her long-running podcast of the same name. All this, plus Lauren gives a special Queer Root Shout-Out (TM) to the most sapphic music video of ALL TIME!
Go to tinahorn.net to find out where you can pre-order both "Deprog" and "Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink" (and while you're there, sign up for Tina's newsletter as well!). Also follow Tina on Twitter and Instagram at @tinahornsass, and check out her podcast "Why Are People Into That?!" on all the usual platforms!

Okay: so last month in Episode 234, we had a good ol' fashioned bitch session about how gatekeep-y the Los Angeles queer scene can be. But because we are mature and balanced adults, it seemed only fair to highlight the founder of one queer event in L.A. that is getting it 100% RIGHT! Enter Lilly Brown, the creator and organizer of Queer Field Day! Fostering community has always been a central part of Lilly's life, tracing all the way back to one night in college when she found herself at a queer oil wrestling after-party, looked around, and realized "everything feels right here." Lilly explains how a beach get-together that she figured would draw maybe twenty to fifty people ended up being a 300+ person event, and how from there she built Queer Field Day into one of the most popular gatherings in L.A.! Also, the tale of how a mismatched room share situation at Dinah Shore unexpectedly led Lilly to the love of her life...
Follow Lilly on TikTok and Instagram at @lilly27sings, and check out Queer Field Day at https://www.queerfieldday.com/, and on Instagram at @queerfieldday! For those local to L.A., other queer community resources mentioned in this episode were https://www.hicuties.com/ (make sure to sign up for their fantastic email list!), and @beingqueerinla on Insta.

Kerry Spencer Pray and Jenn Lee Smith met in Affirmation, an organization for LGBTQIA+ Mormons. Kerry had just realized that she was queer; Jenn had been out for longer, but as an Asian-American, she was struggling with the overwhelming whiteness (not to mention maleness) of the only available queer Mormon spaces. Jenn and Kerry clicked immediately as friends, and Jenn pitched the idea for what would eventually become "I Spoke to You with Silence: Essays from Queer Mormons of Marginalized Genders" (which just sold out during its first week on Amazon!). Kerry and Jenn share the different trajectories their lives have taken since coming out, and we discuss the beauty and freedom of unconventional relationship structures. Plus, Lauren does a live reading of an essay from the book THAT SHE HERSELF IS FEATURED IN! Umm...#FOUNDLAUREN?!
Follow Kerry on Twitter at @swilua and on Instagram at @swilua_, and keep up with Jenn on Instagram via @bewilderfilm (or connect with her on Facebook)! You can purchase "I Spoke to You with Silence" at https://uofupress.lib.utah.edu/i-spoke-to-you-with-silence/ or at your local bookstore (or, yes, FINE; also on Amazon). And find links below to a bunch of the things we discussed during the episode!
Queer Mormon Witches: https://www.qmwproject.com
"Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire" by Lisa M. Diamond: https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Fluidity-Understanding-Womens-Desire/dp/0674032268
"The Dilemma of Desire" (feat. Lisa M. Diamond): https://www.sho.com/titles/3509856/the-dilemma-of-desire
Jenn's short film "Faithful": https://vimeo.com/ondemand/faithfulmormonfilm

Writer Elliott Maya (they/them, and "a sprinkle of he/him in, like, a fruity Victorian dandy boy way") has a real way with words, in case you couldn't tell from that parenthetical. Raised in the *extremely* strict Jehovah's Witnesses religion, Lio and their brother were also the only Black kids at their school. As if this weren't enough, Lio started going through puberty quite early, which coincided with them realizing that they were "not like the other girls, in many ways." Lio knew that college was their only chance of escape, so they started working at the age of twelve. Along the way, they attempted to hide their queerness in high school by becoming a gay bully...but in an ironic twist, they ended up becoming "horrifically" attracted to their (also queer) victim. Besides being an absolutely HILARIOUS storyteller, Lio also has Long Covid, and started the group Covid Cautious Queers. We spend the latter half of the episode talking about the ways in which Lio's illness has changed their life, and the (easy!) ways you can help not only them, but everyone in your community.
First thing's first: follow Lio on Instagram at @bougiebasquiat, and please please please see their bio for links to their GoFundMe, their Health Hub, and their Ko-fi! You can also follow them on TikTok at @transnaruto, and check out their *gorgeous* website at elliottmaya.com. Last but not least, follow @covidcautiousqueers on Instagram, especially if you're in Southern California. It's Pride Month, y'all - let's be there for Lio!!

Lauren has an eye-opening conversation with the VELVET-VOICED Andrew McCaskill, a LinkedIn Career Expert and 2023 brand ambassador for Nike's #BeTrue campaign! When LinkedIn conducted a study of LGBTQ+ professionals for Pride Month of last year, they were surprised to learn that more than half of the respondents polled said they hide their identity in the workplace. Andrew kicks off our in-depth discussion about coming out at work with his own personal story, which begins in a rural Mississippi town that literally had more cows than people. His first big job out of college was in the financial industry, and not only was he not out to his colleagues; he found himself watching hours of SportsCenter every night before he saw clients, "because everybody wants to talk to the 6'3" Black guy about sports." We run the gamut of what it means to be queer in the workplace, including the importance of knowing your "why" if you're planning on coming out, how to find resources if you're transitioning, and the ironic downside of passing privilege. It's an invaluable conversation with somebody who's been on both sides of the out-at-work experience!
Follow Andrew on Twitter at @DrewMcCaskill and find him on LinkedIn at "Andrew McCaskill," where you can also subscribe to his newsletter, The Black Guy In Marketing!