Coaching for Leaders - 559: The Leadership Struggles We See, with Muriel Wilkins

559: The Leadership Struggles We See, with Muriel Wilkins

12/20/21 • 39 min

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Muriel Wilkins: Coaching Real Leaders Muriel Wilkins is Managing Partner and Co-founder of Paravis Partners. She is a C-suite advisor and executive coach with a strong track record of helping already high performing senior leaders take their effectiveness to the next level. She is also the host of the Harvard Business Review podcast, Coaching Real Leaders and is the co-author, with Amy Su of Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence*. Prior to entrepreneurship, she served on the senior team of U.S. News & World Report and also did marketing and strategy work at Accenture and The Prudential. Muriel has been recognized by the Washington Business Journal as one of Metro-DC area’s Top Minority Business Leaders. In this conversation, Muriel and I reflect on our recent client work in order to surface some of the current struggles leaders are facing. We discuss a few trends we’re seeing in relation to diversity, the great resignation, binary thinking, and human relations. Plus, we make a few practical invitations to leaders in order to avoid some common missteps. Key Points Leaders are making the shift from explanation to inquiry in relations to diversity, equity, and inclusion. The next step for many leaders is to consider how they use their power to affect change to the system in the organization. Many leaders are considering the, “Should I stay or should I go?” question without the full context of impact and feeling. Begin by considering the impact you wish to have before making a major change. Beware the trap of binary thinking. Often leaders get fixated on “OR thinking” without considering the opportunity for “AND thinking.” If you catch yourself thinking in “ors” consider how you might bring in some “ands.” Leaders who inherently see value in people development can tend to write off other leaders who they see as only focused on the numbers. It’s helpful to realize that the larger objective is often shared, but style is different. Meet people on their terms with their language. Resources Mentioned Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence* by Muriel Wilkins Coaching Real Leaders podcast Related Episodes Enhance Your Executive Presence, with Muriel Wilkins (episode 272) The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529) How to Win the Long Game When the Short-Term Seems Bleak, with Dorie Clark (episode 550) How to Use Power Responsibly, with Vanessa Bohns (episode 551) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

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558: Drawing the Line Between Friend and Manager, with Bonni Stachowiak

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*. Listener Questions Lucus asked us for advice on his reading habits as he makes the transition to CEO. Elizabeth wondered the best way to address issues where experienced employees appear resentful about her giving them direction. Beth sent us a question about drawing the line between being a friend and a manager. Resources Mentioned 13 Crucial Books That Every Leader Should Know Drive* by Daniel Pink Readwise Day One Seven Principles for Leading People Older Than You, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 59) How to Manage Former Peers, with Tom Henschel (episode 257) Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370) Related Episodes Three Steps to Soliciting Feedback, with Tom Henschel (episode 107) How to Make Deep Work Happen, with Cal Newport (episode 233) Tie Leadership Development to Business Results, with Mark Allen (episode 435) How to Help People Thrive, with Jim Harter (episode 532) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

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560: The Way to Get People Talking, with Andrew Warner

Andrew Warner: Stop Asking Questions Andrew Warner is an entrepreneur and host of the Startup Stories podcast, where he uncovers the secrets of the world’s best founders. Over the course of 2,000+ episodes, Andrew has interviewed everyone from Barbara Corcoran, to Gary Vaynerchuk, to the founders of Airbnb. After building two startups of his own—one successful and one that failed—Andrew started Mixergy as a way to learn from other entrepreneurs. Today, Mixergy is a place where successful people teach ambitious upstarts through interviews, courses, masterclasses, and events. He is the author of Stop Asking Questions: How to Lead High-Impact Interviews and Learn Anything from Anyone*. In this conversation, Andrew and I discuss what he’s learned about getting people to talk from thousands of hours of interviews and research. We explore some of the key tactics that he uses to help people open up in a genuine way. Plus, we discuss some common questions to avoid that may work against your goal to connect well with the other party. Key Points Help others get comfortable talking about themselves by revealing something about yourself first. They may not reciprocate immediately, but it often opens the door for future depth. Just a word or two can open up an entire new level of a conversation. Try using “Because?” or “How so?” as ways to hear more. People expect leaders to show up and have a direction for the conversation. Not everything needs to be phrased as a question — you may consider making requests like, “Tell me more,” to direct to conversation. Avoid asking questions that try to get people to articulate “most” or “best” answers. People spend too much mental bandwidth trying to rank-order instead of just engaging with the dialogue. When potentially uncomfortable situations come up, allow people an easy way out by giving them two paths they can go down. Resources Mentioned Stop Asking Questions: How to Lead High-Impact Interviews and Learn Anything from Anyone* by Andrew Warner Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Have Conversations That Matter, with Celeste Headlee (episode 344) How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454) Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.