Mother’s Day 2020
Intro:Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 119!
Well, we have some things to talk about this Mother’s Day. But before we get into that...
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So...let me start by saying this, although it may sound like I am starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence...
- Being kind to yourself alleviates the painful words and nonsense from family, friends and strangers. When you are kind to yourself, you like yourself.
- You have to like you, sincerely like you, faults, and warts, and all. And when that happens, then you will get to the point where you love yourself. I’m not talking about a prideful, haughty, perfectionist like or love. I am talking about a self-respecting love despite faults and failures. You must know that no one is perfect, not even beautiful you. We will all have faults and failures. The key is to know what they are. Look them in the eye and know them. Then make the decision every day not to allow them to define you. When you do that, failures will happen, but much less often than if you pretended you were perfect and everyone else was at fault. This is a great segue to point number three...
- We are all in different places in our cnbc journey in particular, and in our life journey in general. This means we cannot compare our journey to someone else’s. Look, there can be a group of childless not by choice women sitting chatting together, and one of the women in the group can be so deep in her grief she might be thinking to herself that another woman in the group doesn’t seem so dissatisfied with her life. This woman probably did not want kids to begin with. And nothing could be further from the truth. It just so happens that this sincerely happy woman is at a place in her life where she has achieved acceptance. See what I did there? The key word is achieved. It takes work to reach acceptance. And even after acceptance has been achieved, she may still have moments that last a few seconds or a few minutes where she feels a tug, a whisper, of what might have been.
- Grief, you know? It doesn’t completely disappear, it blends into the fabric of who we are, our experiences. It doesn’t get erased, forgotten, or ignored.
- So, when the insensitivities come, and they will, they will be met with, if not now, at some point on your journey, proper boundaries of self-respect and self-love. Such healthy boundaries will allow us to deal with insensitivity year-round, but especially on Mother’s Day.
- Well, I could not end this bittersweet Mother’s Day ...
05/09/20 • 18 min
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