CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

In this conversation, Whitney Goodman interviews Gabriel, also known as The Indomitable Black Man, about his journey to becoming a content creator who promotes respectful or gentle parenting. They discuss the challenges of being a black man in the gentle parenting space and the misconceptions surrounding discipline and abuse. Gabriel emphasizes teaching and guiding children through discipline rather than resorting to physical punishment. They also explore the long-term effects of abusive parenting on adults, including anxiety, depression, and difficulties with self-regulation. The conversation explores the impact of spanking and abuse, the importance of striving for more than 'fine' in parenting, the power imbalance between adults and children, the denial and accountability of parents, the cycle of bare minimum fatherhood, and breaking generational patterns.

Takeaways

• Spanking and abuse can have long-term negative effects on children, leading to physical and mental health issues.
• Parents should strive for more than just 'fine' in their parenting, aiming to provide the best for their children and create a positive legacy.
• The power imbalance between adults and children should be recognized, and physical discipline should be replaced with effective communication and guidance.
• Parents need to acknowledge and take accountability for the trauma they may have caused their children, rather than denying or minimizing it.
• Fatherhood should go beyond the bare minimum of providing for children's basic needs, and fathers should actively lead, guide, and support their children.
• Breaking generational patterns and cycles of trauma is essential for creating healthier and more positive family dynamics.

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466.

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co.

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

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Balancing the needs of in-laws, parents, and your new family can be challenging, especially when merging families with different backgrounds and expectations. In this episode, Whitney discusses why open communication, clear boundaries, and empathy are key to maintaining balance. I

Takeaways

• Balancing the needs of in-laws, parents, and your new family requires open communication and clear boundaries.
• Prioritize your immediate family while considering the needs of your extended family.
• Compromise and individual relationships with in-laws and parents can help navigate conflicts.
• Consider setting boundaries or distancing yourself in cases of abuse or harm

Timeline

03:58: Negotiating Contrasting Dynamics and Tensions

06:18: Standing Up to Traditions and Family Norms

08:20: The Importance of Open Communication and Clear Boundaries

11:04: Deciding the Role of Your Extended Family

16:26: Seeking Professional Support and Setting Boundaries

Connect

You can join the Family Cyclebreakers Club at Calling Home here.

To learn more about Whitney and her work, visit her website.

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Accepting what Is and managing your relationship with parents who may never apologize or change their behavior is not an easy path. It requires a deep level of acceptance, acknowledging that your parents might not become the people you wish they were, and understanding that healing begins with accepting the situation as it is, not as you hope it would be. The path also involves setting boundaries that protect your emotional well-being while allowing space for the relationship to evolve. Whether you choose to continue contact or distance yourself, the focus should be on what serves your growth and peace. Accepting what is doesn't mean giving up; it means recognizing the limits of what your parents can offer and deciding how to move forward in a way that honors your own needs.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers real questions from callers about how to respond to parents who initiate contact, particularly when past behaviors have caused emotional pain with self-compassion, acceptance, and choosing a path that aligns with personal healing.

Tune in!

What You Will Learn:

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show
• [00:29] How to respond when a parent initiates contact without apologizing
• [05:41] Accepting your parents: What they did, who they are, and what they can offer
• [09:06] Accepting your parent resources
• [09:23] Walking the path of what was and is with acceptance
• [11:57] Wrap up and end of the show

Standout Quotes:

• “You are allowed to feel the way you are feeling about it; you are allowed to give yourself time to process those feelings and decide what change you need to make from there.” [05:19]
• “There is no right path, but the path to healing starts with accepting what is, what your parent did, and what they can do.” [08:39]
• “There is no guarantee that maintaining a relationship with a parent is going to fulfill you or going no contact with a parent is going to make your life better or easier; just walk the path that makes sense for you.” [13:22]
• “It's so important to expect people to be who they have been and be pleasantly surprised when they are not, don't expect them to be different than they always have been, because that's where you're going to get hurt and disappointed.” [10:59]

Let’s Connect

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466.

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback.

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service.

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Balancing boundaries and empathy in family relationships means understanding and validating your family's feelings and experiences while also protecting your own emotional and mental well-being. Empathy allows you to connect with your loved ones on a deeper level, but without boundaries, it can lead to neglecting your own needs and compromising your personal space. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you care any less. Instead, it enables you to nurture healthy, respectful, and sustainable relationships without sacrificing your well-being.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers real caller questions on issues they are having with their family. Listen and get valuable insights on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, practice empathy, and heal past wounds within family dynamics.

Tune in!

What You Will Learn:

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show
• [00:29] How to practice empathy for your parent without breaking your boundaries
• [07:22] How to navigate parent-sibling dynamics and adult healing
• [13:00] Parent-sibling relationship healing and resources
• [13:54] Wrap up and end of the show

Standout Quotes:

• “You can have empathy and understanding for your parents without totally letting it derail and destroy any boundaries or personal space that you have in your life.” [07:08]
• “You have to start working on resolving and healing feelings around how you were treated in comparison to your siblings when you were younger so that it doesn't impact your life in a negative way.” [13:01]

Let’s Connect

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466.

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback.

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service.

Mixing, editing and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on the Calling Home Podcast, Whitney will talk with therapist and author Sahaj Kaur Kohli. They’ll discuss the challenges of setting boundaries and maintaining healthy communication within multi-generational immigrant families. She highlights the pressure that immigrant parents often feel from their own parents, which can lead to rigid expectations and norms being passed down to their children. They will also talk about the importance of partners being on the same page when dealing with in-law dynamics and the need for individuals to manage their expectations of their parents.

Fore more information on Sahaj Kaur Kohli and her book, "But What Will People Say?", visit sahajkaurkohli.com.

Follow Sahaj on Instagram @sahajkohli

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback.

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram or TikTok.

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices