But Not All At Once

Anne Smith

Every last woman, even the glossy picture of perfection who intimidates you to bits, has a story that would stun you. It's time we hear it. Let's discuss it all, learn it all, figure it all out - but not all at once.

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Top 10 But Not All At Once Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best But Not All At Once episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to But Not All At Once for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite But Not All At Once episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

A Primer for People Who Care: How to Start Seeking Social Justice

But Not All At Once

05/28/20 • 30 min

This episode isn't a sermon or a lecture; I'm not qualified to deliver either. Instead, it's a window into what I'm doing and an invitation to join me in learning and listening. It's time for more than a broken heart emoji on a social media post, but what can we do?
Today we'll talk about anti-racism, examining privilege, if good people can carry prejudice, being supporters instead of saviors, setting aside our defensiveness and listening with compassion to experiences we don't understand.
Step one is to start the research ourselves. Let's not expect or ask already-exhausted, marginalized and hurting people to do that for us. It's our job to learn all we can on our own.
Then it's time for step two, listening.We need to hush, learn and DO. Soak up all we can, then support the work already in progress. We're not here for gold stars, but to ensure that everyone on this Earth is treated with the dignity they deserve.
Soon we'll have a legitimate expert speak on this topic, but until then we have tremendous resources at our fingertips to learn how to be allies. I want to point you to these resources and encourage you to spend your dollars, time and attention on organizations and activists who have been doing this work for years.
Please join our conversation at @butnotallatonce and share your favorite anti-racism voices or groups fighting for racial equality.
For now, here are a few places to start. Look on Instagram for folks to follow, books to read and podcasts to listen to as well:
tinyurl.com/resourcesforwhitepeople
dismantlecollective.org/resources
tinyurl.com/75thingstodo
tinyurl.com/antiracismreading
tinyurl.com/whiteallieschecklist
tinyurl.com/rollupsleeves
tinyurl.com/whitefragilitysociology
tinyurl.com/whatiswhiteprivilegereally

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.
For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming guest follow-ups, visit Patreon.

Season 1 Trailer

But Not All At Once

03/26/19 • 6 min

Six months ago, I started But Not All At Once on Instagram to amplify conversations that matter - things we were discussing in group texts and preschool parking lots, but hadn't taken to a wider audience.
We focused on balancing the facets of our lives that mean the most to us: faith, marriage, motherhood, friends, hospitality, family, work, fitness, supporting the people we love, attempting to look like we've slept all night, masquerading as functioning adults. (Spoiler alert: we can do it all, but not all at once.)
The But Not All At Once podcast will be an extension of those conversations. Thirty-something years into life and four children into parenthood, I realize more every day that none of us can do this thing alone.
Through the beauty of technology, we now have a virtual dining room table to gather around - all that's missing are the wine and cupcakes. So grab your earbuds, take a moment for yourself and prepare to befriend a passel of people you've yet to see in person.
Join us each week to hear another woman's story, celebrate some accomplishments, steal some ideas - whatever it takes to prove no one has all her ducks in a row. Subscribe now and you'll hear a new episode every week! (We have a BYOP policy: Bring Your Own Pinot and Petits Fours.)
In the meantime, head over to @butnotallatonce on Instagram and join the conversation!

Living Out A Sister's Legacy with Liz Fisher: Part Two

But Not All At Once

01/06/22 • 85 min

Brooke Turner's story may be But Not All At Once's most downloaded episode ever - and for good reason. Describing herself as a "student of hope" despite unexpected widowhood and terminal cancer, Brooke shared words I revisit whenever I need a little perspective and a few hours with a friend.
Today Brooke's sister, Liz, finishes her story with an update on the grieving, healing, joy-filled Turner/Fisher family of eight. She and her husband now have six children from third to sixth grades, and their life is as hectic and wonderful as it sounds. This week we pick up just before Brooke's passing and six weeks before the kick-off of Covid.
If you're a Patreon subscriber, be sure your email address is up-to-date in your subscription! Later this month we'll launch an e-newsletter to chat about the awkward, insightful, intimate, or downright embarrassing stories too personal to share on the podcast at large. Plus book and movie recommendations, the best advice we never took, what we wish we could say to our younger selves and more.
Patreon listeners will also hear updates this winter from beloved former guests April Robson, whom many of us have kept close to our hearts in recent months, and Margot Guy, whose long journey to motherhood has a delightful new chapter to share!
Thanks for checking in over the podcast's holiday break; I'm excited to be back. See y'all here next week and on Instagram until then! xoxo

Harry & Meghan: The Documentary Without Drama?

But Not All At Once

12/10/22 • 124 min

After a sabbatical, we're back with a quick-turnaround episode dissecting the first three episodes of the Sussexes' Netflix documentary. Come back next week for a breakdown of the final three!
We mix in a bit of history, context, caveats and perspective, but I anticipate a third episode will come post-documentary where we dive into the Queen's death and funeral; who's gotten new titles; who didn't inherit the ones they were promised; who's in danger of losing theirs; what King Charles' coronation could kick off; how Icky Andrew has been doing; and if Harry's memoir release next month will rock the monarchy or be more of the same.
Thanks for your patience, kindness, check-ins, conversations and constant presence in my life even when we're not sharing these conversations every week.
Excited to be back and chatting with you again! (So long as no one else tells me I'm sending people to hell or that my children deserve pity for having me as a mother. I touch on that story today and we'll explore a bit more later.)
Whether you agree with my royal ramblings or not, I welcome all pleasant and sane messages. Find me at butnotallatonce.com or @butnotallatonce. xoxo
Other royal episodes to explore:
Don't Call It A Megxit (January 2020)
HRH No More: Sussexit’s Conclusion (January 2020)
Megs & Haz Take Hollywood (April 2020)
Finding Freedom: A Sussexit Book Report (August 2020)
A Royal Rundown: What Comes Next (February 2021)
Oprah, Harry, Meghan & Media Madness (March 2021)
"Lili? But...": A Baby's Name & a Brouhaha (June 2021)

A Pep Talk for Moms Times Two

But Not All At Once

04/15/21 • 21 min

Tomato/Tomahto and Having Babies Abroad

But Not All At Once

10/02/19 • 66 min

Melissa Vanzant-Birch met a handsome stranger in a Boston Starbucks when she was a law student; just as if Hollywood screenwriters had scripted it, that chance meeting changed everything.

Today Melissa is a mom of two little Brits with a thriving London legal career far different from the one she imagined as an undergrad in Chapel Hill.

We discuss the indignity of our children correcting our pronunciation of words like zebra and tomato (or anything, quite frankly), the differences between American and British maternity experiences, her children's special requests of family members back home (spoiler alert: it's Cheez-Its and goldfish), our mutual desperation for the next generation to enjoy mashed potatoes as much as we do, and whether or not her legal career requires her to wear a powdered wig.

You can find Melissa on Instagram at @MVBinEngland.

No-Weigh '19: What Happened When I Tossed My Scale

But Not All At Once

03/22/20 • 26 min

Early in 2019, I decided to step off the scale for a full year. When I brought it up in the But Not All At Once Instagram community, the feedback was overwhelming - questions, worries, fears, curiosity.
In the 14 months since, I haven't cheated once; that's 14 months longer than I'd ever gone before. As a woman raised with eyes and ears in this country, I absorbed many a message about how much I "should" weigh and what health and wellness meant. For me, it came down to the three digits on a scale.
After the world's most awkward growth spurt, I hit 5'9" in 9th grade; even at my lightest, my scale's numbers were never as small as my pocket-sized peers'. My weight rose and fell during my pregnancies and after the birth of our four children, but I could have told you exactly where I stood at any moment in time. The scale's output was intrinsically linked to my mood, even when I was growing a baby.
So No-Weigh ‘19 was an experiment by and for myself, but I got a lot of questions - occasionally about why, but mostly about HOW. "Did your doctors push back? Did you have a panic attack? Did you gain 60 pounds? Will you buy a new scale? Are you using your measurements instead? How do you feel?"
So here's the rundown in an episode a bit more personal than, say, Sussexit. I hope it's meaningful and helpful to you, whatever your thoughts on scales, measuring tapes, weight or the waif-chic beauty ideals that shaped many of our childhoods!
As always, you can find me at @butnotallatonce on Instagram, and I can't wait to talk to you there. xoxo

Do They Host Playgroups for Grown-Ups?

But Not All At Once

11/20/19 • 61 min

We can't sniffle our way through every episode, so here's a 100% tissue-free chat with my dearest friend. On today’s episode, Erin Demo and I tackle listener questions about the tricky business of friendship while adulting.
How can you be a better friend? How do we meet new people but avoid FOMO? Where can we squeeze in time for friends when no one's schedules align?
Is "picking up where you left off" even a good thing? And will we ever be able to have full conversations again, or is texting memes back and forth all day an acceptable substitute?
You're essentially listening in on our daily chat, so please enjoy our forays into the "blind friend date" that was our first meeting, our grad school penchant for Pizza Hut, Door Dash as a form of friendship currency, and why elementary school D.A.R.E. classes led me to believe I'd be offered drugs on a regular basis.
(Spoiler alert: This belief was patently, hilariously false. Worksheets full of ways to say 'no' went to utter waste.)
This week's episode is sponsored by Kentwool, a family-owned, South Carolina-based company that makes the downright dreamiest socks you'll ever put on what Mae calls her "widdle feetie toes." You can learn more at kentwool.com or @kentwool on social media.

Cancer Couldn't Be Our Life with Jenny Bright Hewitt

But Not All At Once

10/29/20 • 134 min

Ever wondered how to help a grieving friend, what to do for a widowed neighbor or what unfolds in the days after a life-changing loss?
Today's guest became a widow at 30 after her husband, Tim Bright, lost his five-year fight with colon cancer. And that's not even half her story.
In 2010, Jenny Bright Hewitt took on the role of advocate, partner, caretaker, fundraiser and new wife at once. Together Tim and Jenny led the Bright Life Foundation, raising nearly $250,000 for cancer research and building a community of awareness and support.
Tim's death was surprisingly unexpected, given that he had "outlived his expiration date" by three years. Jenny was left with a broken heart and a blank slate; it was an honor to hear how her community came alongside her in the years ahead.
Jenny and her second husband, Craig, say their daughter will always know who Tim is. Tackling widowhood, dating, remarriage, motherhood and miscarriage, Jenny retains a deep gratitude and defining sense of humor.
You'll walk away moved by the ways Jenny's friends and family supported her - and a few "what not to do" moments she survived too.
To honor Tim's legacy, Jenny encourages you to support the work of the Institute for Translational Oncology Research (ITOR) at ghs.org/itor and learn the signs of colorectal cancer at ccalliance.org/screening-prevention.

What Comes Next: Moving Forward When The World's A Mess

But Not All At Once

06/11/20 • 25 min

"It just feels like the world is on fire." If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard that sentence this last month, I'd be treating you to an extra-large Chick-fil-A combo meal by now.
The scales on many of our eyes have fallen away in recent weeks; processing what's been revealed has been an overwhelming, heartbreaking, deeply uncomfortable process that won't stop anytime soon. So what comes next?
Whether or not you're, like me, a white woman who hopes to make a difference in her home, her community and the wider world, I have a few thoughts to share. Let's process all this together, shall we?
Join me for a quick walk through what I'm doing now to process the national conversation around systemic racism and social inequality; updates on what But Not All At Once will be doing to broaden our conversations and the voices we share; encouragement for people feeling guilty, hurt or overwhelmed; and a reminder that there's tremendous power in community.
Thanks for being a sounding board, a source of encouragement, and fellow figure-it-outers. There's always discomfort, fear and uncertainty in transition; that's how you know new life is coming.
Doing the hard work is worth it. If you too are unlearning some deeply-ingrained messages and educating yourself to fight racism and live out what you believe, here are some Instagram accounts sharing their years of knowledge and good work:
@theconsciouskid
@beabridgebuilder
@latashamorrison
@austinchanning
@laylafsaad (author of "Me and White Supremacy")
@thediversitygap
@faitthb
As always, you can find me at @butnotallatonce on Instagram, and I hope you'll continue our conversation there. xo

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FAQ

How many episodes does But Not All At Once have?

But Not All At Once currently has 130 episodes available.

What topics does But Not All At Once cover?

The podcast is about Society & Culture, Faith, Hospitality, Entrepreneurship, Homemaking, Motherhood, Family, Wellness, Friendship, Podcasts, Inspiration, Self-Improvement, Education, Relationships, Health and Encouragement.

What is the most popular episode on But Not All At Once?

The episode title 'What Comes Next: Moving Forward When The World's A Mess' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on But Not All At Once?

The average episode length on But Not All At Once is 61 minutes.

How often are episodes of But Not All At Once released?

Episodes of But Not All At Once are typically released every 7 days.

When was the first episode of But Not All At Once?

The first episode of But Not All At Once was released on Mar 26, 2019.

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But Not All At Once

Anne Smith

Top 10 But Not All At Once Episodes

FAQ

How many episodes does But Not All At Once have?

What topics does But Not All At Once cover?

What is the most popular episode on But Not All At Once?

What is the average episode length on But Not All At Once?

How often are episodes of But Not All At Once released?

When was the first episode of But Not All At Once?

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