006 - Six

07/31/23 • 5 min

3 Listeners

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TRANSCRIPT

[click on] Ugh...

[click, static]

Jesus Christ. I–

[click, static]

The last time I had a hangover, I believe I was twenty-eight years old. I’m not twenty-eight anymore.

Not that I’m old–least, I don’t feel it. Sure, maybe in a usual circumstance I’d be well into suburban adult life or something. Maybe. Probably not. I was never the get hitched and have kids type. Folks in my line of work usually don’t–

[click, static]

Ughhh god, I don’t even know if I can drive today. My head is pounding. Guess it wouldn’t hurt to spend a day just...resting. I’ve been driving most of the day for the past week after years of barely driving at all.

It’s been harder on my body than I thought it’d be. Though I guess that might be the after effects of bourbon talking.

[click, static]

I guess I’m not used to sitting down for so much of the day. Those first few years after everything happened, it took a lot to find a spot we’d be safe in and then to set that place up. By the time we got everything running smoothly, I’d forgotten what it was like to sit still.

Not that I did much of that before. My life has always been taken up moving around, fixing things, breaking things.

I had to learn how to garden these past six years.

[click, static]

Who am I kidding. Harry did most of that stuff. I figured out how to butcher chickens I guess. Chop wood. Fix the roof. Rewire the house.

It’s not like I had a purpose really. Other than keeping myself alive and trying not to strangle Harry every time she wasted a ton of flour trying to reengineer a goddamned croquembouche she had in Paris in 1962 from memory. That no-good pretentious—

[click, static]

I can’t figure out if I have less of a purpose now or more of one. I’m still trying to keep myself alive, though I’ve gotten pretty good at that. And there’s not as much...hazard, on the road, as I expected. I’ve got enough food to last me...months, probably. Water’s a toss up sometimes but boiling works in a pinch. As long as I can find gas, I’m good to drive around indefinitely.

Which, you know...

[click, static]

Is that a life? Has any of this been? I wasn’t expecting to get past our driveway and find that the whole world had gone back to a normal, civilized society–I’m not even sure I would’ve wanted that. The fear of it is half the reason we never tried to contact anyone–

[click, static]

But there’s gotta be something–someone–out here somewhere. There’s no way in hell that Harry and I are the only two people who survived...whatever it was.

So, once again, I’m begging–if you can hear this. Come and find me. I’m at a little house with a red door off Route 33, take left at the bridge and then the third right you come to. I’ll stay a few days, take a beat, and wait.

[click, static]

And just to be clear, if you come here and try something I don’t like, well...as I said, I have a lot of experience in breaking things.

Alright, Whiskey out.

[click, static]

[beeps]

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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TRANSCRIPT

[click on] Ugh...

[click, static]

Jesus Christ. I–

[click, static]

The last time I had a hangover, I believe I was twenty-eight years old. I’m not twenty-eight anymore.

[click, static]

It’s been harder on my body than I thought it’d be. Though I guess that might be the after effects of bourbon talking.

[click, static]

Not that I did much of that before. My life has always been taken up moving around, fixing things, breaking things.

I had to learn how to garden these past six years.

[click, static]

Who am I kidding. Harry did most of that stuff. I figured out how to butcher chickens I guess. Chop wood. Fix the roof. Rewire the house.

[click, static]

Which, you know...

[click, static]

But there’s gotta be something–someone–out here somewhere. There’s no way in hell that Harry and I are the only two people who survived...whatever it was.

[click, static]

And just to be clear, if you come here and try something I don’t like, well...as I said, I have a lot of experience in breaking things.

Alright, Whiskey out.

[click, static]

[beeps]

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Previous Episode

005 - Five

1 Recommendations

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TRANSCRIPT

Breaker, breaker, this is WAR1974. Same frequency as yesterday, but not on the road for once. I found a little house just off the main road that looked abandoned but didn’t have any broken windows so I figured...

[click, static]

I haven’t broken in. Just to be clear. The door was unlocked and I

[click, static]

Well, come on, no one’s really gonna hold me responsible for seeking shelter when there’s no one else around, right? I swear, if the owners show up, I’ll clear right out.

But it’s nice. You know? Being in someone else’s home. Looking at the books they have, their clothes, their records. You can get to know someone through the things they own. Through what they give prominence to in their living space.

Based on this living space, I’d guess...older couple? Been married...oh, I don’t know, thirty, forty years. But this isn’t the house they lived most of their life in. The furniture hasn’t worn patterns into the floor, the sun hasn’t bleached particular bits. There’s no photos.

[click, static]

But there’s a record player and they’ve got all the greats–Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline...god, I wish they had power, I’d kill to hear any of those folks. We mostly had classical records, a couple of big bands that almost made me think of my parents...one Beach Boys record. I know every word to every song on that one, it was the newest thing we had. It was barely two years old when the whole thing started but now it feels like a record I’ve been listening to my whole life, I’ve heard it so many times.

[click, static

Don’t tell anyone, but I think I’m gonna sneak the Hank Williams record away. Just in case I come across a working player. I’ve been trying the radio in the car every single day, and it’s pretty much all static. Every now and then I feel like I hear a little bit of music, but it’s never clear enough to tell.

They won’t miss it. The record. I don’t think they’ll miss the bourbon I’ve dug into either. I hope not, anyway.

[click, static

(sip) That’s right. Bourbon. I found honest to god bourbon. I haven’t had a real drink in...god. Who knows. We had a little at the beginning and we...sort of? Figured out how to make our cider? I would’ve preferred beer, but apples are one thing, where the hell would we have gotten hops. And it’s not like I was ever allowed to go anywhere to find something that wasn’t absolutely vital for survival. I wanted to try my hand at making bathtub gin, but Harry thought I’d blow the whole place up. And you know, she’s just got a real big—

[click, static]

I think I will be taking my little alcoholic Kentucky friend here with me on my journey. Bring it back to the homeland.

I hope wherever they are, the couple that lived here is happy and safe. They seem nice. Based on their music and the fact that they’ve got a bunch of dish towels with cartoon puppies and kittens on ‘em. No art on the walls. A couple of fish, a stag head. Which is art of a kind. But no paintings.

Which is fine by me. If I never see another painting in my goddamn life, I’ll be happy.

[click, static]

Anyway...I’m just about falling asleep where I sit. My body’s not used to hard liquor anymore, I guess. So, I’m just gonna...

[clicks off]

[beeps]

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Next Episode

007 - Seven

1 Recommendations

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TRANSCRIPT

[click, static

Good morning, West Virginia. A miracle occurred this morning—this little house I’m holed up in? Somehow, it still has a working gas line. And they’ve got a gas stove.

[click, static]

That’s right, I had a hot breakfast this morning. And, look, it’s not like it’s been so long since I had hot beans, but I don’t know how likely this exact scenario is going to be on my travels, so I’m taking the little joys where I can.

I do have a camper stove with me, but it doesn’t seem like a great use of gas. I’ll probably heat up food if and when I’ve got to boil water, and I guess I could always make a campfire but...I don’t know, you kind of get used to cold food after a few months and even though we eventually got a decent working kitchen at the house, I think the ability to eat something straight out of a room temperature can never really went away.

[click, static]

I’ve never been particularly fussy about what I eat. It’s all just fuel. I did use to be absolutely dependent on coffee, but I had that habit kicked out of me pretty quick.

[click, static]

God, I miss coffee. Good coffee, the kind that doesn’t come in a can. The kind that you don’t have to brew yourself. There’s not a lot I miss about the “old world” or whatever you want to call it. I wasn’t exactly the prime example of the American dream or anything, but there’s a few creature comforts that I’d sure like to access with ease again. The joy of sitting down at a coffee shop. And, you know, we never got more seasons of “Star Trek” for god’s sake, it’s just, it’s really—

[click, static]

How is everyone else keeping themselves entertained? There’s plenty to be said for the joy of a hot breakfast, beauty in the simple things, yada yada, but come on, has anyone else been bored? There’s only so many card games you can play with two people. As much as I like fixing things up, it can’t take all my time.

[click, static]

Well. Anyway. Guess I should indulge today, while I can. Or for a few days even. I have half a mind to spend the rest of the week here. I don’t think the owners are gonna come back, but you know maybe I can poke around, see what can be found in the little downtown I drove through. See if anyone might be about.

If anyone might be listening.

[click, static]

Are you listening?

[click, static]

(sigh) Yeah. Alright. Whiskey, signing off.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.