004 - Four

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[TRANSCRIPT]

[click, static]

Alright, different channel today. Different channel and different state. I have made my way into West Virginia. And good lord, is it beautiful. I’m definitely avoiding all the flat just the way I wanted, but I am a little worried now that the mountains are going to make these signals even less likely to reach anyone.

I’m keeping my eye out for a better antenna, something I could boost the signal with. I don’t know much about this thing–radios aren’t my specialty–but I’ve always been good at tinkering with things and I pick stuff up quick. It’s why I got into the line of work I did. You need to be able to improvise, figure things out fast, and you’ve gotta be good with your hands.

I like discovering the way things work. In that sense, I bet you’d think this whole situation these past years has been my paradise. How do you improvise when the power’s out and the water stops being clean and you can’t get emergency services for shit because there might not be any kind of services at all anymore? I mean, sounds like a fun fair to me.

The reality got old fast. But I think I was able to build a pretty decent existence. It’s why I think I can do it again. I take comfort in the knowledge that if this car breaks down, I can fix it, and if it really breaks down, I can get another one going. There’s certainly enough of them scattered around.

Though not as many as I thought there’d be. I also expected the stores to be a lot more picked over. The gas stations, yeah, are mostly empty, but I think my odds of getting a stronger antenna are actually pretty good. I dropped into a hardware store late yesterday to get a tire gauge and air pump and the place felt...if not fully stocked, partly. And it’s not like I’m in the middle of absolutely nowhere, I’m still on a major highway. So why isn’t everything completely picked over?

[click, static]

I have seen a couple of lights on here or there, which I can’t make any sense of. One of them was a roadside burger joint–their neon ‘open’ sign was glowing like it was new. So I went in and...well, I didn’t expect to see anyone, I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I thought maybe...maybe there’d be a phone that still worked or a water heater or a working gas line.

It was the strangest thing. The neon sign was on. And the jukebox. And one of the lights over the counter. But nothing else. The phone was dead, none of the light switches seemed to do anything.

I did try playing a tune on the jukebox but...I don’t have any quarters. Why would I? I haven’t used money for anything in years.

But anyway, it all got me thinking...if I could find a working radio tower, could I boost this signal? As it stands, I’ve just got to keep driving round and round and round until I get lucky enough to come into range with another CB. But if parts of the grid are still working, then maybe—

[click, static]

Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe it wouldn’t make a difference because maybe there is no one to find. And I’ll just keep tuning into a new frequency every single day and talking to the air.

[click, static]

But I think it’s...helping. Even if I’m not talking to anybody.

[click, static]

Maybe because I’m not talking to anybody. If no one can hear me, there’s no consequence to anything I say. And talking to yourself isn’t embarrassing or sad if no one knows it’s happening. Right?

So, who knows, maybe I’ll keep going on this no matter what happens. I’ve got nothing to lose.

Signing off.

[click, static]

[beep]