Debbie & Sam on Getting Calm and Centered in Baja (Yes, Even Sam Felt It)

05/21/21 • 16 min

Debbie Weil brings her husband, Sam Harrington, back onto the show. A retired physician, Sam is NOT a believer in midlife-crisis camps nor in navel gazing, which is what he told family and friends Debbie was dragging him across the country to do. It took a lot of arm-twisting to persuade Sam to get on a plane and fly to Mexico’s Baja Sur, even after they had both been twice vaccinated and even after the long, dispiriting winter of the pandemic. Their destination: Modern Elder Academy.

If you've been listening to the podcast, you've heard about MEA. You could call MEA a wellness retreat. It’s idyllic: simple accommodations overlook the crashing waves of a broad mile-long beach. Birdsong fills the air, water trickles from fountains, and bright pink, yellow, and orange Bougainvillea blooms everywhere. An organic garden produces wonderful meals and a dusty dirt road leads to the nearest village.

But MEA is more than a wellness retreat. It’s also a school - and a community - of like-minded people. MEA tends to attract open-minded individuals from their 30s to 70s, who are on a quest to define "what's next” in their lives and who are willing to think differently about aging.

Guests can attend structured discussions, there’s time for journal writing and reflection, and there are meditation and yoga classes.

Debbie and Sam talk about a few of the topics that were on offer during their two-week stay, including the difference between growth vs. fixed mindsets (you can guess which one is preferable) and something called appreciative inquiry which is an expansive way of both listening and asking questions.

Sam ultimately admits that he IS feeling calm and centered.

Mentioned in this episode or useful:

Modern Elder Academy
El Pescadero, Baja California Sur
What Having a "Growth Mindset" Actually Means by Carol Dweck (Harvard Business Review, Jan. 13, 2016)
More about growth vs. fixed mindsets
What Is Appreciative Inquiry?
Navigating Midlife Transitions, MEA’s Online Program
S3-EP20: Jeff Hamaoui on Navigating the Messy Middle of Transitions
S1-EP6: Chip Conley on Growing Wise at Modern Elder Academy (Modern Elders, Part 1)
S1-EP7: Four Different Decades on Transition and Reinvention (Modern Elders, Part 2)

Previous episodes featuring host Debbie Weil and her husband Sam Harrington:

A gift for listeners: a Baja meditation soundtrack

Debbie created a 20-minute meditation soundtrack (with help from producer Julie-Roxane) from the distinctive Baja birdsong and trickling water she heard every morning before meditation practice. Download the sound...

Guests can attend structured discussions, there’s time for journal writing and reflection, and there are meditation and yoga classes.

Sam ultimately admits that he IS feeling calm and centered.

Mentioned in this episode or useful:

Modern Elder Academy
El Pescadero, Baja California Sur
What Having a "Growth Mindset" Actually Means by Carol Dweck (Harvard Business Review, Jan. 13, 2016)
More about growth vs. fixed mindsets
What Is Appreciative Inquiry?
Navigating Midlife Transitions, MEA’s Online Program
S3-EP20: Jeff Hamaoui on Navigating the Messy Middle of Transitions
S1-EP6: Chip Conley on Growing Wise at Modern Elder Academy (Modern Elders, Part 1)
S1-EP7: Four Different Decades on Transition and Reinvention (Modern Elders, Part 2)

Previous episodes featuring host Debbie Weil and her husband Sam Harrington:

A gift for listeners: a Baja meditation soundtrack

Previous Episode

Nicholas Christakis on How the Pandemic Will Affect Your Life Until 2024

When will the Covid 19 pandemic end? That’s the question on everyone’s mind. Today Debbie talks to one person who just might have an answer to that question.

Nicholas Christakis is a nationally-recognized expert in three fields: medicine, sociology and public health. He’s a distinguished Sterling Professor at Yale, a researcher on the topics of social networks and human goodness, and a bestselling author, most recently, of Apollo’s Arrow: The Profound and Enduring Impact of Coronavirus on the Way We Live.

He’s been named to TIME magazine’s list of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. His fluency in explaining the science, epidemiology, psychology, sociology and history of pandemics makes this a fascinating conversation. Plus he’s got a good sense of humor:

You’ll hear why he chose to publish Apollo’s Arrow last fall, midway through the COVID 19 pandemic, before we knew the end of the story
How his childhood experiences with illness and death affected his career choices
What the predictable three phases of a pandemic are (HINT: we're still in the immediate phase)
Why he thinks this pandemic won’t be over until 2024
They also talked about separating the biological vs. the psychological impacts of the pandemic
What herd immunity actually means and whether we’ll get there
And what the public health messaging around the pandemic should be

Debbie asks him point blank: when is the next pandemic? The answer is unnerving - sooner than you might think.

But they end on a positive note: plagues historically bring loss, grief, confusion, and misinformation. But they also reveal cooperative and generous behavior, the best of humankind.

About Nicholas Christakis

Photo Credit: Evan Mann

Books by Nicholas Christakis

Apollo's Arrow: The Profound and Enduring Impact of Coronavirus on the Way We Live by Nicholas Christakis (Little, Brown Spark 2020)
Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society by Nicholas Christakis (Little, Brown Spark 2019)
Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives by Nicholas Christakis (Little, Brown Spark 2009)
Death Foretold: Prophecy and Prognosis in Medical Care by Nicholas Christakis (University of Chicago Press, 2001)

Articles and interviews

A year of COVID: Making sense of an ‘alien and unnatural’ time (Yale News, March 4, 2021)
Epidemiologist looks to the past to predict second post-pandemic 'roaring 20s' (The Guardian, December 21, 2020)
Denial And Lies Are 'Almost An Intrinsic Part Of An Epidemic,' Doctor Says (NPR, October 29, 2020)
The pandemic is as much about society, leaders, and values as it is about a pathogen (Science Mag, November 17, 2020)
The New York Times Book Review: The Pandemic's Future — and Ours (NYT Book Review, November 3, 2020)
The Importance of Being Little: What Young Children Really Need from Grownups by Erika Christakis (Penguin Books 2016)
Remote Learning Isn't the Only Problem With School (The Atlantic, December 2020)
The COVID-19 Pandemic and the $16 Trillion Virus by Larry H. Summers, PhD and David M. Cutler, PhD (October 12, 2020...

Next Episode

Bestselling Author Thomas E. Ricks on His Writing Process

Today, Debbie Weil talks to good friend and bestselling author Thomas E. Ricks about writing. This episode will appeal to listeners even if you're not a word nerd or put writing a book at the top of your bucket list.

Tom is a military history columnist for the New York Times and author of seven books, the last five of which have been New York Times bestsellers. His best known book is "Fiasco: the American Military Adventure in Iraq, 2003 - 2005," which was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in 2007. His most recent book, published in November 2020, is "First Principles: What America's Founders Learned From the Greeks and Romans, and How That Shaped Our Country."

He was a war correspondent and a member of Pulitzer Prize-winning teams covering the military for both the Wall Street Journal (2000) and the Washington Post (2002).

As Debbie puts it, he's the "real deal" when it comes to writing serious books. Tom is currently working on his eighth book, a military appreciation of the Civil Rights Movement. Tom and his wife Mary Kay, also an author, are Debbie's good friends and neighbors in Maine.

Today, they talk about what drives Tom to write: is it for money, for recognition, to win another Pulitzer prize, to connect with his readers, the writing itself? His answer is a good one. They address the big questions: how long does it take him to write a book, how does he choose his topics, what is his advice for would-be book writers, and more.

Debbie and Tom also get into the nitty gritty of his writing process. He takes us through a day in the life of Tom Ricks which includes bringing tea to Mary Kay in the morning and making lunch most days for the two of them. Despite how prolific he is, Tom does not write for 8 hours a day.

He is witty and passionate on the topic of writing, as well as being honest and revealing, and this is a wonderful conversation.

Mentioned in this episode or useful: