Dusty Takes a Personality Test and Tries to Guess Andrews Spiritual Gifts
06/02/25 • 30 min
What do zookeeping, spiritual gift tests, and wildly questionable discernment scores have in common? This episode of the Bible Belt Bros Podcast, that’s what. Join Andrew and Dusty as they tackle deep theological mysteries like “Did Jesus stand on soapboxes?” and “Can ‘Helps’ actually be a spiritual gift, or is that just Christian for ‘people pleaser’?” It’s equal parts hilarious roast and accidental insight—plus, Andrew might be changing careers to feed giraffes.
Andrew and Dusty begin with a signature tangent: Andrew has a new life plan. He’s applying to be a zookeeper. This revelation comes out of nowhere and isn't revisited with any serious theological backing—Andrew just thinks it’d be fun to work with animals and carry a stick around. It’s an entertaining cold open that sets the tone for the rest of the episode: part hilarious detour, part unfiltered theological musing.
From there, Andrew jumps into his soapbox of the week, questioning whether Jesus ever got on a soapbox himself. This thought led him down a short-lived research rabbit hole where he promptly forgot all the facts he found. The core of the soapbox was a reflection on how little of Jesus’ words are actually recorded in the Bible. Andrew estimated that the average person speaks around 16,000 words a day, and with only 37,000 to 57,000 of Jesus’ words recorded, we may only have about two and a half days’ worth of His teachings. This realization leads the hosts to muse about the massive gaps between what Jesus did and what was documented.
That theological pondering quickly transitions into the main topic: spiritual gifts and personality tests. Andrew recently took an online spiritual gifts test and shares the results. His highest-ranking gift is "Helps," while scoring zero in "Discernment." Dusty immediately challenges both the legitimacy of the test and the results. His response to "Helps" being a spiritual gift is sarcastic and dismissive: "That’s not a gift, that’s being a good person."
The conversation turns into a comedic breakdown of the spiritual gifts Andrew allegedly has. Dusty goes down the list from the test and calls out each one, essentially rejecting them as false based on his own observations. Andrew’s attempts to defend his gifts are countered by Dusty’s suspicion that Andrew just clicked random answers to finish the test quickly. The comedic tension lies in Dusty’s confidence that he knows Andrew better than the test does—and his high score in "Discernment" is his excuse for not believing a word of it.
Andrew tries to explain that the value of these tests lies in helping people understand where they fit within the church. He reflects on the fivefold ministry—apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers—and how different gifts align with different roles. He acknowledges that he’s probably more of a behind-the-scenes support person, not someone who should be leading from the front.
Despite the jokes, there’s a sincere moment where Andrew explains how understanding his gifts gave him confidence in knowing he doesn’t have to perform upfront to serve. This leads to a brief mention of how churches often misuse or overemphasize certain gifts while undervaluing others like Helps.
Dusty, however, maintains a skeptical tone throughout, poking fun at the idea that clicking through multiple-choice questions can reveal deep spiritual truths. He particularly critiques the "Discernment" category, arguing that someone without it could still use a "gift of Helps" in all the wrong ways—"like helping a guy rob a bank."
The episode never fully lands on whether spiritual gift tests are helpful, accurate, or biblical, but the guys do land on one thing: they’re entertaining. Andrew’s earnest attempt to understand his calling and Dusty’s relentless commentary make for a dynamic mix of introspection and comic relief.
As the episode wraps, the spiritual gift discussion takes a backseat to more sarcasm and lighthearted back-and-forth. Andrew continues defending the test. Dusty continues roasting him. And in the end, listeners are left with a few laughs, some lingering questions about their own gifts, and the image of Andrew at the Tulsa Zoo holding a stick.
This episode doesn’t offer clear answers about spiritual gifts or the effectiveness of online tests. But it does offer an honest look at two friends navigating faith with humor, skepticism, and the occasional zookeeper application.
#ChristianPodcast #ChristianComedyPodcast
What do zookeeping, spiritual gift tests, and wildly questionable discernment scores have in common? This episode of the Bible Belt Bros Podcast, that’s what. Join Andrew and Dusty as they tackle deep theological mysteries like “Did Jesus stand on soapboxes?” and “Can ‘Helps’ actually be a spiritual gift, or is that just Christian for ‘people pleaser’?” It’s equal parts hilarious roast and accidental insight—plus, Andrew might be changing careers to feed giraffes.
Andrew and Dusty begin with a signature tangent: Andrew has a new life plan. He’s applying to be a zookeeper. This revelation comes out of nowhere and isn't revisited with any serious theological backing—Andrew just thinks it’d be fun to work with animals and carry a stick around. It’s an entertaining cold open that sets the tone for the rest of the episode: part hilarious detour, part unfiltered theological musing.
From there, Andrew jumps into his soapbox of the week, questioning whether Jesus ever got on a soapbox himself. This thought led him down a short-lived research rabbit hole where he promptly forgot all the facts he found. The core of the soapbox was a reflection on how little of Jesus’ words are actually recorded in the Bible. Andrew estimated that the average person speaks around 16,000 words a day, and with only 37,000 to 57,000 of Jesus’ words recorded, we may only have about two and a half days’ worth of His teachings. This realization leads the hosts to muse about the massive gaps between what Jesus did and what was documented.
That theological pondering quickly transitions into the main topic: spiritual gifts and personality tests. Andrew recently took an online spiritual gifts test and shares the results. His highest-ranking gift is "Helps," while scoring zero in "Discernment." Dusty immediately challenges both the legitimacy of the test and the results. His response to "Helps" being a spiritual gift is sarcastic and dismissive: "That’s not a gift, that’s being a good person."
The conversation turns into a comedic breakdown of the spiritual gifts Andrew allegedly has. Dusty goes down the list from the test and calls out each one, essentially rejecting them as false based on his own observations. Andrew’s attempts to defend his gifts are countered by Dusty’s suspicion that Andrew just clicked random answers to finish the test quickly. The comedic tension lies in Dusty’s confidence that he knows Andrew better than the test does—and his high score in "Discernment" is his excuse for not believing a word of it.
Andrew tries to explain that the value of these tests lies in helping people understand where they fit within the church. He reflects on the fivefold ministry—apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers—and how different gifts align with different roles. He acknowledges that he’s probably more of a behind-the-scenes support person, not someone who should be leading from the front.
Despite the jokes, there’s a sincere moment where Andrew explains how understanding his gifts gave him confidence in knowing he doesn’t have to perform upfront to serve. This leads to a brief mention of how churches often misuse or overemphasize certain gifts while undervaluing others like Helps.
Dusty, however, maintains a skeptical tone throughout, poking fun at the idea that clicking through multiple-choice questions can reveal deep spiritual truths. He particularly critiques the "Discernment" category, arguing that someone without it could still use a "gift of Helps" in all the wrong ways—"like helping a guy rob a bank."
The episode never fully lands on whether spiritual gift tests are helpful, accurate, or biblical, but the guys do land on one thing: they’re entertaining. Andrew’s earnest attempt to understand his calling and Dusty’s relentless commentary make for a dynamic mix of introspection and comic relief.
As the episode wraps, the spiritual gift discussion takes a backseat to more sarcasm and lighthearted back-and-forth. Andrew continues defending the test. Dusty continues roasting him. And in the end, listeners are left with a few laughs, some lingering questions about their own gifts, and the image of Andrew at the Tulsa Zoo holding a stick.
This episode doesn’t offer clear answers about spiritual gifts or the effectiveness of online tests. But it does offer an honest look at two friends navigating faith with humor, skepticism, and the occasional zookeeper application.
#ChristianPodcast #ChristianComedyPodcast
Previous Episode
Evangelism by Legislation: Finally a law that ensures kids will ignore both Math and Moses at the same time
After weeks of guest overload, this episode of the Bible Belt Bros Podcast finally brings Dusty and Andrew back together, unfiltered and unaccompanied—basically a bro version of couples therapy, if therapy involved mall stories, public education law, and sarcastic jabs about the King James Bible.
The conversation opens like most deep theological discussions do—at the mall.
Turns out both guys used to work there. Andrew was Dusty’s boss. (Let that sink in. Andrew, the man currently co-hosting a podcast in what we assume is a spare bedroom, once supervised someone else’s paycheck.) They recall working at a watch store, greeting mall walkers at ungodly hours, and the time Dusty got his gas siphoned right out of his truck. Because nothing says “servant leadership” like buying your own gas back.
Also, Scheels. Apparently it’s the only reason anyone goes to the mall anymore—unless your kids want to ride a carousel. Which brings us to the first theological point: kids ruin everything. Even your hatred for malls.
Promises, Politics, and Prayer TimeSo Texas introduced something called “Promise Month,” and if you're thinking it has anything to do with abstinence, purity rings, or teenage awkwardness, you're not alone. That was the assumption too.
But no, “Promise Month” is a Christian-themed state proposal meant to highlight America’s biblical roots—with an extra helping of “mandated prayer and Bible time in schools.” Because if there’s anything kids love more than algebra, it’s Old Testament genealogy during fourth period.
It was proposed in April. Announced in May. Which is like throwing a surprise birthday party a month late and expecting people to still bring presents.
Oklahoma’s Mandatory Bible & the King James ConfusionMeanwhile in Oklahoma, the state superintendent rolled out a plan requiring every student from grades 5 through 12 to be equipped with a King James Bible. That’s right—the version where even the verbs are confused.
It’s not so much the Bible requirement that raised eyebrows, but the very specific demand for that translation. As Dusty put it, “We don’t need all those 'thee’s' and 'thou’s' confusing a bunch of fifth graders.” Honestly, trying to decipher King James in middle school is like making a toddler learn to type on a typewriter.
What followed was a comedic deep-dive into all the Bible versions that could (or absolutely should not) be used in classrooms, including the Message Bible, children’s Bibles, and the somewhat mythical "Gangsta Bible"—which we’re 85% sure started as a meme and ended up in a dorm room somewhere.
Religious Freedom, First Amendments, and Forced MoralityThe guys don’t shy away from the meat of the issue: Should religious content be forced in public schools?
Andrew, ever the realist, points out that forcing biblical teaching through legislation rarely works. It's like trying to make someone fall in love with your grandma’s casserole recipe—it doesn't matter how many times you make it, they’re still gonna complain about the mushrooms.
Dusty argues that teaching the Bible as historical text (rather than spiritual doctrine) makes sense, the same way we discuss Gandhi, Buddha, or even Elvis (we assume) in world history. It’s context. Not conversion.
That’s the line the hosts keep coming back to—Christianity, at its best, invites rather than mandates.
Alabama: Ten Commandments and Ten More ArgumentsJust when you think things couldn’t get more theologically spicy, Alabama comes through with Ten Commandments in classrooms and a full-on Pride flag ban. Because if there’s one thing that really gets kids interested in moral values, it’s wall décor.
Dusty and Andrew play devil’s advocate here (ironically). If you’re going to allow Christian symbols in public spaces, shouldn’t other religions get equal footing? Do we need a wall of competing sacred texts in every classroom like some kind of spiritual debate team?
The most repeated line in this episode might be: “We force feed everything.” Politics. Religion. Sports opinions. Even marketing emails (Dusty would know—he works in marketing).
The takeaway? Everyone wants their beliefs visible. Until someone else’s beliefs show up. Then suddenly we all remember we have First Amendment rights we haven't read since high school.
Pivoting ever so gracefully, the podcast veers into the topic of Oklahoma’s potential ban on cell phones in schools. This sparked what may be the most unintentionally hilarious section of the episode.
Apparently, Dusty's son starts his Tesla with his phone. Which feels like a very specific attack on Elon Musk. And now the state wants to take away that phone, essentially asking kids to walk home in 115-degree heat because Dad's truck won't start without an iOS update.
The argument here isn’t really about Teslas, though. It’s about access. If every ...
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