Forgiveness the KEY to Unlock your Limitations

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Hello, hello. Welcome to Beyond ADHD, a Physician's Perspective. I am Dr. Dean Mecado Mage. I'm a family medicine physician practicing in rural Texas. I used to be hindered by my adhd, but I now. Made as a gift that helps me show up as the person I was always meant to be, Both in my work and in my personal life.

In the past two years, I've come to realize that unlearning some of my beliefs and some of my habits were just as important as learning the new set of skills.

So today, I. Talk to you guys about how beautiful our brains are and how sometimes we can go down the rabbit hole and, uh, learn very useful things. And one of those useful things that I learned was about forgiveness. So, of course, you know, picture this, I am trying to, um, , I'm trying to do some of my notes.

And of course to try to help me concentrate. I turn on my candles, I turn on, uh, YouTube, and I put it, you know, on a sound that doesn't on, on a music that. That has just sounds that doesn't have any words. And of course after a little while, then you have an ad that comes up. And one of the ads that came up was, um, about a mom talking about forgiveness and how forgiveness could like help you re rely your.

And of course there I am, right? Like paying attention. , I should be doing something else, but there I am paying attention. And so then that takes me down a rabbit hole to go figure out like if h d could benefit from forgiveness and all this other stuff, right? So this shares a story and he says that his meditation teacher told them.

If I throw a stone at you and it hits you, like who are you angry with? Are you angry with the stone or are you angry with a person? And of course, amongst this, well, I'm angry with a person because the stone had like no intention of hurting me. It's like just an object, right? So then the teacher asks them, if we use that same logic, should you be angry?

The person, or should you be angry with the pain that that person might be going through and it's just maybe reacting and doing this because they went through something themselves. And so that got me thinking, you know, um, we. Tend to be your worst critics. Right? Like I remember, um, for the longest time, and, and this is something of course I've been working in the last three years to rewire my brain and, and coming to the understanding that, you know, for 6,000 years our brains have been conditioned right to.

Survive . They've been conditioned to think and like the negative, to think like, What's it gonna kill me? What's gonna kill me? Right. And I've been coming to understand that if I keep focusing on the gap instead of the gain, and if I keep telling myself that I'm falling short on stuff, um, that's not gonna get me very far.

The thing is, like the way we talk to ourselves really matters. If I keep thinking, Oh, they're gonna find out like I don't belong here, they're gonna find out I'm not good enough. They're gonna find out. Like that emotion is heavy and it weighs on me. And sometimes I would tell myself all kinds of things that I would not allow my.

Ran even my enemy to tell me, but yet I was doing it as a protective mechanism thinking that if I caused that pain to myself, there would be nobody else who could cause worse pain to me. So I was like protecting myself. So in this exercise, you know, then I went down the rabbit hole of Latino. If people are affected or, you know, become traumatized because of their adhd.

And then I found another statistic that said that 80% of people with ADHD have trauma and that that trauma can really limit their own, like self development and, and of course can affect their self worth and all self-esteem and all that stuff, right? So, One thing that caught my attention was that the act of forgiveness is not necessarily for that other person, but it's for yourself.

Like that it would benefit yourself. And that in doing so, it would help like your brain have a state of more like, um, coherent. And so I thought that was interesting. So I gave it a shot, . I was like, Let me, let me try this method that they're talking about. And what they say is that, you know, when you forgiving people or even yourself because there's so much stuff that the younger version of us did not know any better and it got us into trouble, right?

So, You forgive others, um,

you are the one that benefits and you can really forgive anything, and that

forgiving them does not mean that you're dropping the charges or ignoring what happened to you. It's just that you learned to deal with it in a different way, or you learn to maybe see their point of view. That other person never even has to know that you forgave them. Like you don't have to. Like that person doesn't even have to be or anything.

You don't have to send letter, you don't have to anything. So what they talked about was,

There wa...