Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption

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What happens when a birth kid grows up in a foster and adoptive family and becomes an advocate for others in similar situations? Daniela Coates, a licensed social worker, adoptive mother, and foster parent, shares her personal and professional journey with us. Through her organization, With Siblings, Daniela is doing groundbreaking work by focusing on the voices and experiences of birth children in foster and adoptive families. Her insights shed light on the complex emotional landscape that these kids navigate and the importance of support systems that truly see and hear them.
Join us as Daniela opens up about the struggles she faced as a child, feeling invisible amid new family dynamics and grappling with the challenges of being a pastor's child. She recounts the poignant memories of saying goodbye to foster siblings and how these experiences led her to embrace fostering formally. Daniela’s story is one of resilience, highlighting the balance and fulfillment that fostering can bring, even in the face of temporary relationships.
As the conversation continues, we delve into the universal emotions of feeling unseen, as depicted in Daniela's book "The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible." We explore the duality of emotions birth kids experience, the importance of empowering their voices, and the need for open dialogue about the hard truths in foster care narratives. Daniela's journey from agency work to creating a global support network underscores the significance of addressing these nuanced family dynamics with empathy and understanding. Tune in to learn how Daniela's work can inspire more comprehensive conversations about the mental health and well-being of all children in the foster care system.

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Lori Serber's journey into foster care is a testament to the power of calling and the evolution of family dynamics. Lori had always felt drawn to fostering, though her husband Larry needed time to embrace the idea. Eventually, their family of five welcomed the transformative experience, navigating the multifaceted challenges and joys that fostering brings. Together, we explore how this decision impacted their children, particularly their son Wade, and the importance of fostering normalcy and familiarity for children. This episode provides a heartfelt look at how a community's influence can help foster children thrive as valued members of their new families.
Fostering is not merely about providing a temporary home but about building bridges toward family reunification. Our conversation with Lori uncovers the realities, struggles, and understanding needed for this profound responsibility. We discuss the importance of setting clear expectations for prospective foster parents, emphasizing the goal of reunification whenever safely possible. Through personal anecdotes, we highlight the critical role foster parents play in supporting biological families. This section urges listeners to consider the emotional challenges and the necessity of entering fostering with a heart willing to grow and support the journey toward reunification.
Amidst the challenges of fostering, we explore how faith, community, and life's simple pleasures bring joy and support. Lori and I share stories of divine provision, where unexpected generosity, like a timely gift of a couch, has reminded us that we are never alone in our mission to nurture children. We also reflect on the beauty of simple joys, such as family gatherings, which can be easily overlooked amidst the demands of fostering. This episode is a tapestry of inspiration, offering listeners a glimpse into the profound love, resilience, and community that define the foster care experience.

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How does a missed meeting at Starbucks transform into a lifelong friendship that helps navigate the challenges of foster care and adoption? Join us as Danielle Browning and I share the story of our unique bond, forged through shared experiences and mutual support. We open up about the unspoken rules of friendship that have been our lifeline as we journey through the complexities of parenting children from hard places. Through candid conversations and shared laughter, our friendship has become a source of emotional stability and reassurance, illuminating the path through some of life’s most demanding moments.
Danielle and I dig into the profound freedom our friendship offers, a space where we can express difficult truths without fear of judgment. Whether it’s a road trip filled with anxiety or the everyday struggles of post-adoption life, we stand by each other as unwavering pillars of support. Our bond is the epitome of a "ride or die" partnership, showcasing the importance of having someone who truly understands the intricacies of the adoption and foster care community. We navigate the unpredictable paths together, celebrating the resilience and strength found in our shared journey.
From the pride of watching our children reach significant milestones to grappling with dreams that didn’t turn out as expected, our conversation touches on the highs and lows of motherhood and friendship. We reflect on the complexities of relationships, the evolving bonds with our teenagers, and the joy that comes from supportive connections amidst life's challenges. The episode wraps up with a lighthearted lightning round, sharing what brings joy to our everyday lives, from delightful homemade treats to inspiring podcasts. Tune in to experience the warmth and wisdom of a friendship that is as rewarding as it is resilient.

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Embark on an unexpected journey with Ted Stackpole, a pastor who, alongside his wife Angie, opened their hearts and home to foster care and adoption, transforming their lives and those of the many children they've welcomed. Initially hesitant, their adventure began through a connection with a church family and an exploration of adoption ministry. Their path led to the formation of a supportive community that helped navigate the complex world of fostering and adoption, ultimately expanding their family to 11 children. Ted and Angie now serve as missionary chaplains, dedicating their lives to fostering and adoption communities across the nation.
Our conversation shines a light on the powerful role that church-based ministries play in supporting foster families. With the leadership of experienced foster and adoptive families, these ministries offer a lifeline, providing wraparound care systems that include meal deliveries and house cleaning, preventing burnout among foster parents. We explore the impact of such ministries, where five families fostered 50 children and completed 18 adoptions in three years, and discuss how the church can be a beacon of support for vulnerable populations, even if not everyone feels called to foster or adopt.
We also delve into the spiritual dimensions of fostering and adoption, viewing these acts as services to Jesus while navigating the challenges of family dynamics. From managing the complexities of fostering multiple children to creating nurturing environments for those who have experienced trauma, we discuss the vital support systems that make these journeys possible. Innovative approaches, such as online classes and Project One Home, offer valuable resources for foster families, fostering connections and stability. We conclude by emphasizing the importance of community champions in sustaining these efforts and the need for personal spiritual reflection to maintain balance and growth.

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Rebecca and Courtney answer questions submitted by listeners. This episode is off the cuff, unedited and offers an unfiltered view as Rebecca answers those questions. We discuss various aspects of adoption, including timelines, processes for domestic and international adoptions, advocacy for children, and ways to support families in this journey.
• Exploring average timelines for different types of adoption
• Practical ways to support foster and adoptive families
• Sharing lighthearted stories from the foster care experience
• Advocacy tips for parents of adopted children
• Advice for road-tripping with large families and children

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