Why Does Rude Behavior Really Bother Us So Much? | Trevor Foulk PhD

10/27/21 • 71 min

2 Listeners

Rudeness is contagious, in a similar way to a virus. When experiencing a rude encounter, our brain perceives it like a threat. And once we’ve tuned in to this low-level threat, we’re more likely to notice it around us, and therefore more likely to display rude behavior ourselves.

Our guest on this episode is Dr Trevor Foulk PhD, Assistant Professor of Management & Organization at the University of Maryland. His well published research on deviant workplace behaviors and workplace power dynamics, has been featured in Time magazine, Harvard Business Review, and the Wall Street Journal.

Trevor walks us through what rude behavior actually is, what our evolutionary response to it is and how we can take steps to mitigate the effects of it. We are also delighted to talk about Trevor’s research around the way power changes our behavior, and what impact a feeling of paranoia can add to the dynamics. And to Tim’s delight, Trevor also boosts our understanding of how music affects work performance.

Truth be told, our conversation with Trevor has opened our eyes into how rude behavior really impacts people. And in our Grooving Session, at the end of the episode, Kurt and Tim recap the ways Trevor’s research can improve our lives.

If you enjoy listening to our podcast, you can become an exclusive Behavioral Grooves Patreon member at https://www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves.

Topics

(3:28) Welcome and speed round

(8:38) How rudeness is contagious.

(11:45) Why do we view rudeness as threatening?

(13:10) The solutions to rudeness.

(15:36) How our response to rudeness differs from holding a grudge.

(17:52) Are certain personality types more susceptible to rudeness?

(19:15) What effect does rudeness have on medical professionals?

(22:59) Can gratitude have the opposite effect to rudeness?

(24:27) How the Anchoring Effect is affected by rudeness.

(28:43) How does a feeling of power change our behavior?

(35:40) Paranoia and power.

(39:51) How does music influence performance?

(47:35) Grooving Session with Kurt and Tim discussing what we’ve learnt from Trevor’s interview.

Links

Dr Trevor Foulk PhD: https://www.rhsmith.umd.edu/directory/trevor-foulk

Foulk, T.A., Woolum, A., & Erez, A. (2016). Catching rudeness is like catching a cold: The contagion effects of low-intensity negative behaviors. Journal of Applied Psychology: https://www.courts.state.co.us/userfiles/file/Administration/Probation/ResearchInBriefs/RIB_Rudeness_Apr16(1).pdf

Riskin, A. Erez, A., Foulk, T.A., Kugelman, A., Gover, A., Shoris, I, Riskin, K., & Bamberger, P.A. (2015). The impact of rudeness on medical team performance: A randomized trial. Pediatrics: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26260718/

Foulk, T.A., Lanaj, K., Tu, M., Erez, A., & Archambeau, L. (2018) Heavy is the head that wears the crown: An ator-centric approach to psychological power, abusive behavior, and perceived incivility. Academy of Management Journal: https://journals.aom.org/doi/10.5465/amj.2015.1061

John Bargh: Episode 155. Dante, Coffee and the Unconscious Mind: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/john-bargh-dante-coffee-and-the-unconscious-mind/

John Bargh, Episode 248. Do We Control Situations or Do Situations Control Us? https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/control-situations-with-john-bargh/

Vanessa Bohns, Episode 253. Why You Don‘t Need to be Powerful to be Influential: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/influence-vanessa-bohns/

Musical Links

Lyle Lovett and Robert Earl Keen “This Old Porch”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1xY2pu31h4

Jim Croce “Operator”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw01trwmul0

Rancid “Fall Back Down”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CinJuVtdp3Y

Jimmy Buffett “Margaritaville”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3HBcgxOWAQ

If you enjoy listening to our podcast, you can become an exclusive Behavioral Grooves Patreon member at https://www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves.

Topics

(3:28) Welcome and speed round

(8:38) How rudeness is contagious.

(11:45) Why do we view rudeness as threatening?

(13:10) The solutions to rudeness.

(15:36) How our response to rudeness differs from holding a grudge.

(17:52) Are certain personality types more susceptible to rudeness?

(19:15) What effect does rudeness have on medical professionals?

(22:59) Can gratitude have the opposite effect to rudeness?

(24:27) How the Anchoring Effect is affected by rudeness.

(28:43) How does a feeling of power change our behavior?

(35:40) Paranoia and power.

(39:51) How does music influence performance?

(47:35) Grooving Session with Kurt and Tim discussing what we’ve learnt from Trevor’s interview.

Links

Dr Trevor Foulk PhD: https://www.rhsmith.umd.edu/directory/trevor-foulk

John Bargh: Episode 155. Dante, Coffee and the Unconscious Mind: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/john-bargh-dante-coffee-and-the-unconscious-mind/

John Bargh, Episode 248. Do We Control Situations or Do Situations Control Us? https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/control-situations-with-john-bargh/

Vanessa Bohns, Episode 253. Why You Don‘t Need to be Powerful to be Influential: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/influence-vanessa-bohns/

Musical Links

Lyle Lovett and Robert Earl Keen “This Old Porch”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1xY2pu31h4

Jim Croce “Operator”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw01trwmul0

Rancid “Fall Back Down”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CinJuVtdp3Y

Jimmy Buffett “Margaritaville”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3HBcgxOWAQ

Previous Episode

Helping People To Assemble Better Decisions | Eric J. Johnson

How do we make decisions? What factors influence the final outcome? Do default settings change our preferences? Every decision we make; from choosing something on a menu to deciding whether to be an organ donor, is influenced by our environmental context and the default selections presented to us.

Professor Eric J. Johnson has distilled the latest behavioral science research into his newest book, The Elements of Choice: Why the Way We Decide Matters, and we are thrilled to talk with him about it on this episode of Behavioral Grooves.

Eric is Director of the Center for Decision Sciences at Columbia Business School at Columbia University. He examines the interaction between Behavioral Decision Research, Economics and consumer decision making. The implications of his research come together in real world applications such as public policy and marketing.

Eric talks with us about how options are presented to decision-makers and how framing affects choices. Our decisions are “assembled”, as Eric likes to put it, in the moment and are not necessarily pre-determined by our preferences. Choice architects have very influential power over decision-makers but Eric highlights to us that we are all designers, and with that comes a moral responsibility.

Topics

(3:56) How Leading HumanTM can help with returning to the office.

(6:28) Welcome and speed round.

(8:00) How interference affects our decision making.

(10:32) The controversy of organ donation defaults.

(16:32) We are all designers using the tools of choice architecture.

(19:21) How sludge impacts our decision making.

(22:42) How context influences defaults.

(26:14) What factors moderate the impact of default settings?

(29:01) Making choices in the real world vs. classic economic thinking.

(32:18) The effects of asking people how long they will live vs. what year they expect to die.

(35:04) Smart defaults: defaults set specifically for you.

(38:02) What is Query Theory?

(39:15) Choice architecture around vaccinations.

(42:44) What area does Eric want to research in the future?

(44:44) What music does Eric default to?

(52:24) Grooving Session with Kurt and Tim on how to apply Eric’s research to our lives.

Links

Behavioral Grooves Patreon: www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves

Leading HumanTM Workbook and Playbook: https://www.behavioralgrooves-store.com/products/copy-of-the-leading-human-playbook-workbook-package

Leading HumanTM, Free Whitepaper Download: https://www.behavioralgrooves-store.com/collections/leading-human/products/human-centered-workplace-checklist

Leading HumanTM Workshop on Dec 14th, 2021 (more dates to be added soon): https://www.behavioralgrooves-store.com/collections/leading-human/products/leading-human-workshop

Promo Code: GROOVERS to receive $20 off (limited time offer for listeners).

“The Elements of Choice: Why the Way We Decide Matters” by Eric J. Johnson: https://amzn.to/39yXr20

"Do Defaults Save Lives?" by Johnson, Eric, and Daniel Goldstein. Science 302 (2003): https://www8.gsb.columbia.edu/researcharchive/articles/1275

“Sludge: What Stops Us from Getting Things Done and What to Do about It” by Cass Sunstein: https://amzn.to/3i1lLhD

Tim Kachuriak, Episode 221: Donating Our Money Is Irrational, So Why Do We Do It? Tim Kachuriak Explains Our Motivations: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/why-we-donate-our-money/

“Time to Retire: Why Americans Claim Benefits Early and How to Encourage Them to Delay” In Behavioral Science and Policy (2015). Coauthor(s): Kirstin Appelt, Melissa Knoll, Eric Johnson, Jonathan Westfall: https://behavioralpolicy.org/articles/time-to-retire-why-americans-claim-benefits-early-how-to-encourage-delay/

Musical Links

Eric Dolphy “Out to Lunch!”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne6GCYO8pAc

Django Reinhardt “Thr...

Next Episode

Halloween Special: Grooving on Scary Biases

1 Recommendations

Listen to Kurt and Tim’s spooky Halloween Special about some common biases that can seem a bit scary. But don’t fear, the scariest thing about this episode is actually Kurt and Tim’s jokes! Find out why some biases are a bit spooky, what makes us susceptible to them, and most importantly how we can overcome them.

Thanks for taking the time to learn a bit about how to overcome the biases you may find impacting your life. If you’d like to support our work further, please consider donating a treat (no tricks please!) on our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves. Your financial support helps with all our production costs.

Links

Behavioral Grooves Twitter: @behavioralgroov

Kurt Nelson Twitter: @motivationguru

Tim Houlihan Twitter: @thoulihan

Common Biases and Heuristics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XHpBr0VFcaT8wIUpr-9zMIb79dFMgOVFRxIZRybiftI/edit

Scary Biases: https://blog.lanterngroup.com/scary-biases

Behavioral Grooves Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves