Becoming/Unstuck

If we don't understand the rebound phase of growth, we can get a little pummeled by it. This essay explains more about the rebound, so that you can notice it, name it, and get yourself to the other side more quickly and smoothly. You can find a written version of this essay on my website, here.

Trauma is not the only thing we pass on to each other. Without each other, we would never be able to heal because we cannot see our chains alone. It only together that we can break free from what binds us.

We have a culture-wide myth that we can "fix" disregulation and that we will know that we are doing a good job at healing when we stop being disregulated. Healing is not about not being disregulated. Healing starts with disregulation, and if we want to keep healing, then we need to learn to love disregulation. You can find a written version of this essay here on my website.

When we make the mistake of believing we live in a static, black-and-white universe we will hit up against a self-imposed glass ceiling. We will not be able to make vertical, second-order change that is called transformation. This kind of change is real, possible, and how the system is built to work, when we take up the charge of getting out of our own way.
This essay was written in January 2022 and you can find a static copy here on my website.

Kris Harmelink, I think you'll find, is disarming in the sweetest way with her steady openness and transparency. She has been so committed to thinning the façade between her and the world that at this point, it's almost nonexistent. When you ask Kris a question, she will give you as honest an answer as is possible for her at that moment. I find this a true gift to the world. A lot of problems arise from the dissonance between what we say is true versus what is actually true. We are notoriously terrible self-reporters... this is why everyone's dating app profile is whack.

This episode is the very opposite of that.

I have admired Kris, and the way she interacts with the world, since the very day we met. The way she shares her values with the world - whether through facilitating group process for adults, or fostering children in the pursuit of trusting themselves - is such a gift. In this episode she takes us on a journey from "not mattering" as a child, to hating herself as a young adult, to fostering secure attachment in her 20s. In this episode, hear her talk about the unschooling has happened for her, as well as the unschooling adventure on which she about to take off.