Be Your Own Damn Muse

Fresh from the Lighthouse International Film Festival (at the Jersey beach!!), for the premiere of my short film How to Pack Up Your Life in One Day, and still dizzy from the red carpets, the phenomenal filmmakers, the profound screenings.
I've been thinking how these moments of celebration - our crew gathering, our friends thrilled, an audience applauding - are such highs in the journey.
Such an external reminder that the work is good, that it matters, that it belongs.
But what do you know in between?
How do you celebrate all the unseen work - the submissions to festivals, the revising of scripts, the long nights editing, the hours of practice?
I have some ideas.
And one especially goofy one that I hope delights you, and inspires you.
x

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!
#CreatingIsHealing🦋

I've been taking a screenwriting class where the main exercise has been to copy brilliant scripts that have already been made into award-winning films and TV shows.
Page by page, word for word, type the exact dialogue, action lines, character descriptions.
When the teacher mentioned this I immediately thought "ah ha!" Why didn't I think of that?
I've done it in so many other formats. Studying novels to refine my writing. Learning cover songs to understand melody and harmony and rhythm. Rehearsing salsa shines until the basic patterns are ingrained.
Artists used to learn through apprenticeship. Taking time to perfect the style of the masters who came before. It's the best way to know how to break those rules.
You have to know what the structure of your medium is, before you can figure out how your unique voice will shine in it.

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!
#CreatingIsHealing🦋

It can be as simple as sitting on the floor...
Remember when you used to watch TV and do homework lying on your stomach, propped up on your elbows? Remember how solid the ground felt? How long your body felt? How big the room from that angle?
Did you ever lie on your bed, head pointed toward the foot, legs up against the wall?
How many different ways did you used to look at the world?
And when did it become only proper to sit in a chair, and see the whole of you life from one point of view?

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!
#CreatingIsHealing🦋

Hello my friends!!
Been diving back into my TV pilot script, and took some advice from writers and filmmakers I admire that I heard a while ago - that most of the "writing" isn't actually writing, and most certainly doesn't happen at a desk.
Creativity needs movement, and problem solving is best done on your feet. Which is how I found myself this week, walking home with groceries in hand (I forgot to bring my reusable bag), my fingers freezing from the cold (it's winter in Quebec City!), talking to myself out loud about the 7 point story structure of my script, and which points I could strengthen.
Now ~ as in all things I do, this was an extreme version. But I did find it so freeing to walk and talk to myself (you could do it in your head) about the script. I've always been a problem solver, and I think best on my feet.
In fact, at my office job, back when we had offices ~ I never kept a garbage can at my desk, because every time I had to get up to throw something out in the break room, my mind got to mull over a problem I was struggling with. And usually by the time I sat down again, the pieces had reorganized in my brain and I was seeing them in a new light.
So my invitation this week is to take your creativity on a walk with you. And if you're scrambling with a long holiday to do list, then grab the 5 minutes walking home with groceries, or wrapping gifts, or doing dishes. There are so many places where we can return our minds to the stories we're trying to tell, and tease out the next missing link.
Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!
#CreatingIsHealing🦋

I've been racking my brain for a phrase to compete with my favorite "Wellbutrin Wins," to similarly describe my experience with the anti-depressant Lexapro.
Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant medication I started a year and a half ago, helped quiet some of the constant panic and terror I felt about every day living. It also helped tune out my sense of everyone else's feelings and needs, so I could better center around my own.
Six months later, I worked with my psychiatrist to add Lexapro to the mix. It helped me land in my body, with my thoughts and emotions still vibrant and swirling around me, but no longer sweeping me away.
In this podcast, I talk about situational depression ( 3 months of shoulder pain!), and seasonal depression (bitterly cold and early dark days of winter) crashing together to leave me thinking... "Why Monday?"
I don't know that medication will benefit everyone who needs it and tries it.
But I do know that it still feels incredibly shameful and scary to talk about needing mental health support. And this keeps people who could benefit greatly from it from even considering it.
Depression and anxiety are already such incredibly lonely experiences. And help - whether medication, therapy, exercise, or a combination thereof - can take time to kick in. Staying committed to getting better, when everything already feels so hard, is a true act of courage.

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!
#CreatingIsHealing🦋