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Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.
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Top 10 Battle Royale: French Monarchs Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Battle Royale: French Monarchs episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Battle Royale: French Monarchs for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Battle Royale: French Monarchs episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 9 - Childebert III

9 - Childebert III

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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09/21/21 • 55 min

This episode is chock-a-block, not just with the ramblings of 2 nerds who have been in Covid-19 Lockdown for too long, but also with events that are happening in the world around Childebert III (all of which he has little to no effect over).
Later in the episode, Eliza will give us a little "News Update" on what's happening outside of our little slice of the Dark Ages. This week we're going to Central and South America, where a ruler called "Eighteen Rabbit" is a direct contemporary of Childebert III.

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 47 - Charles V (Part 2)

47 - Charles V (Part 2)

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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06/19/23 • 65 min

In the second half of our Charles V episode, we give him his scores and decide whether or not he should be admitted to the Battle Royale Tournament.
In this episode, we get to see in great detail what Charles's court was like, thanks to the writing of Christine de Pizan (A WOMAN?!), plus we delve into some trouble in paradise between him and his cousin-wife Joan of Bourbon. Also he, like us, is a big fan of castles and libraries, and stayed away from forests and horses...
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Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 58.5 - Marie de' Medici

58.5 - Marie de' Medici

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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01/06/25 • 89 min

After seizing the regency upon the death of Henry IV, will the second Medici to rule France be as successful as the first? Get ready for court intrigue, family drama and shocking twists of fate.
To view Marie's most famous series of depictions, Rubens's "Marie de' Medici Cycle", head to the Louvre website to view all 20+ paintings together. They are possibly the most spectacular paintings we have ever talked about on the podcast!

⚜️
Visit our Wordpress for the rest of our episode images, as well as our score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 38 - Saint Louis IX

38 - Saint Louis IX

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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11/28/22 • 109 min

When Louis IX comes of age, taking over from his mother and regent Blanche, France finds itself at the apex of its medieval golden age. The young king manages to prove his mettle fending off English invasions and internal rebellions, bringing the royal domain's power to new heights.
But kings rarely age gracefully...
When thoughts turn to a risky and costly crusade, will Louis's luck run out? How will his desire to purge France of its sins effect his people for better and for worse? And does he ultimately deserve to be our only king to have been canonised a saint?
⚜️
Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen!

You can also support the show on:

Ko-Fi, where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show.
Patreon, where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements!

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

bookmark
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Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 19 - Louis the Stammerer

19 - Louis the Stammerer

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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12/28/21 • 59 min

It's time for Louis 2: Electric Booga- Oh, wait, his reign's already over?

Thankfully, Louis the Stammerer is no Merovingian, so we have bountiful evidence of what he was doing throughout his short and rather chaotic life. From facing down Robert the Strong at the mere age of 12 to having to make small talk with Pope John VIII at the Council of Troyes, Louis's life is full of awkward moments that would be bad enough without a speech impediment.

Flock to social media and let us know what you thought of our second Louis, and tune in next week for his son Louis III. How will he fare against the renewed onslaught of the Vikings, and the boundless ambition of our villainous clown Boso? The answer may surprise you.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

bookmark
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share episode
Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 22 - Charles the Fat

22 - Charles the Fat

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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01/24/22 • 120 min

After decades in the background of our Carolingian series, it is time for the large-and-in-charge Emperor Charles to come to the fore and lead West Francia to ... well, greatness is a strong word. Plagued by poor health and a lack of heirs, will Charles the Fat be able to steady the sinking ship, or will he allow the Carolingian empire to shatter once and for all?

Things to look forward to in this episode include a baby getting possessed by a demon, an empress undergoing a literal Trial by Fire, bishops cracking Viking skulls with their hefty Bibles, and a medical procedure called "trepanning" which you really shouldn't google. It's getting very medieval up in here.
If you are enjoying the podcast and want to help us continue, you can now "buy us a coffee" on our Ko-Fi page! We would really appreciate your support, if you just want to throw us a one-off donation.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

bookmark
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Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 48.5 - Joan of Arc (Part 1)

48.5 - Joan of Arc (Part 1)

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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11/26/23 • 57 min

The Maid of Orléans is well-known for having taken the intricate chessboard of the Hundred Years' War, tipped it upside down, kicked it across a field and scored a game-changing goal for the Blues after decades of decline.
In the first of her well-earned 2-parter, we follow Joan of Arc's rise to prominence from peasant to saviour, and conclude at the moment of her greatest glory. But that means it's all downhill into tragedy and scandal for Part 2...
⚜️
Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

bookmark
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share episode
Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 50 - Louis XI (Part 2)

50 - Louis XI (Part 2)

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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01/07/24 • 68 min

Louis XI, the Universal Spider, is perhaps the ultimate antihero. We've rooted for him every step of the way as he takes down his enemies and returns France to its former glory. But how will this translate in his scores? Will he beat Charles VII, the father he loathed? And will he be deemed worthy to escape the guillotine?
⚜️
Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!
Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

bookmark
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share episode
Battle Royale: French Monarchs - 14 - Pepin the Short

14 - Pepin the Short

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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11/02/21 • 64 min

It's finally time for the Carolingians to snatch that crown from the feeble hands of the last Merovingians. This week we'll see the Franks and the Lombards finally butt heads in an epic showdown, witness a blossoming bromance between Pepin and the Pope, and discuss why Pepin the Short (like Napoleon) was probably not short.
This is hopefully the last of our sketchy-audio-quality episodes. So look forward to crisp and clear sound next week with Carloman I, whose reign will be an important prelude to that of the Father of Europe himself, Charlemagne.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️
Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.
⚜️
CATEGORIES
Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

bookmark
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share episode
Battle Royale: French Monarchs - Patreon & Other Announcements

Patreon & Other Announcements

Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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05/09/22 • 18 min

In this minisode, Ben and Eliza attempt to pitch their Patreon despite their enduring temptation to go on tangents. 

Meanwhile, the main podcast will be back on 18 May 2022 with a fascinating conversation with resident Carolingian expert Dr Rutger Kramer. From then on, we will be releasing regular episodes on a fortnightly basis starting with Hugh Capet on 1 June 2022. 

Go to patreon.com/battleroyalepodcast to support us, get that sweet bonus content and help us decide the first movie we’re going to see.

Shoutouts from this episode:

·        Andrew Schneider, composer and pianist - watch his Polish-language Ave Maria 

·        Roberto Toro - go listen to the History of Saqartvelo Georgia podcast

·        Tudoriferous – Lucy and Michelle discuss and rate the big names of the Tudor world

·        Ranking ’76 – Matt and Eric rank the most infamous figures of the American West 

·        Grimm Reading – join Matt and Adam around the fire to discuss tales from the Brothers Grimm 

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FAQ

How many episodes does Battle Royale: French Monarchs have?

Battle Royale: French Monarchs currently has 112 episodes available.

What topics does Battle Royale: French Monarchs cover?

The podcast is about Comedy, Podcasts and Education.

What is the most popular episode on Battle Royale: French Monarchs?

The episode title '9 - Childebert III' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Battle Royale: French Monarchs?

The average episode length on Battle Royale: French Monarchs is 78 minutes.

How often are episodes of Battle Royale: French Monarchs released?

Episodes of Battle Royale: French Monarchs are typically released every 8 days, 5 hours.

When was the first episode of Battle Royale: French Monarchs?

The first episode of Battle Royale: French Monarchs was released on Jun 24, 2021.

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