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Barry J. Northern

Barry J. Northern

The official site of writer and podcaster, Barry J. Northern.
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Top 10 Barry J. Northern Episodes

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FF Metacast One

Barry J. Northern

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03/12/10 • -1 min

Friday Fables Metacast One

A brief audio update on what's happening with Friday Fables.

... look out for the Spider and the Peacock coming down your feed

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The Fable of the Tarsier

Barry J. Northern

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02/05/10 • -1 min

The Fable of the Tarsier

by Barry J. Northern


Why not listen along to the Fable of the Tarsier as you read? Just click the play button below or download the MP3.
A tarsier sat upon his branch, chewing on a large cricket he had just caught. A warm jungle breeze rustled the leaves about him, and above, stars twinkled through the forest canopy.
He heard approaching footsteps on the branch and swivelled his head, fixing his large eyes upon a brother hurrying towards him. The younger tarsier waved his arms and chirruped. So hurried was Chirrup that Cricket-Catcher did not at first understand his words.
“... coming ... quick ... coming ... this big.”
Cricket-Catcher smiled around a mouthful of food as he watched Chirrup extend his little arms as wide as his slight frame would allow.
“Big, eh?”
Chirrup jumped up and down and nodded. “Yes, yes. Big it is. Quick.”
“Quick too?”
“No, no quick, we must go.”
“Where? I've just caught this cricket. I'm not moving.”
This sent Chirrup into another frenzy of arm-waving and high-pitching singing. “... coming ... big ... snake.”
This caught Cricket-Catcher's attention. “A snake? A big snake is coming?”
Chirrup sighed and deflated. “Yes.”
“Relax. Snakes are slow.”
Cricket-Catcher spotted a Striped Tree Frog sneaking up the tree's wide bole below him. Finishing off his cricket, his mind already on his next meal, he spoke idly to Chirrup whilst eyeing the frog. “You know, those are clever little things. Tasty though. Worth catching. Can't leap as well as us. I saw one in the morning once, just before going to bed.”
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The Fable of the Pigeon

Barry J. Northern

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01/28/10 • -1 min

The Fable of the Pigeon

by Barry J. Northern


A young pigeon, not long out of the nest, squabbled among his fellows around the legs of one of the wingless giants who sat upon the strange wooden bush at this time every day.
His father stayed close to him. “Look Fletch, this here giant is dropping bits of giant food already, good as grain that stuff. Oh, he'll fling us his scraps at the end, but you wanna watch out for anything you can get.” His father laughed at the older pigeons at the front of the crowd, fighting for scraps. “Look at em go. That's the way!”
“But, Dad?”
“Yes, my son?”
“Can't I just have grain mash? You've still got crop milk. I like it with a bit of crop milk.”
“Look son, I told you already, you're off the milk now. It'll dry up soon anyhow.”
“What about Mum?”
“She's got your brother to worry about. Look, you're not a squab any more.” His beady red eye darted ahead of a sharp-turned neck. “Look out! He's dropping scraps! Go on, get in there my son.”
Fletch, wanting to impress his father, pushed his way in. Everyone said Fletch was big for his age, and he was pleased that he had weight enough to force through the crowd of adults and defend his own patch. There were grains among the fluffy giant-food. He picked at them, they were delicious but few. He tried one of the giant's fluffy grains. “Ergh!” He spat it out. In his moment of disgust he lost his place and was forced to the back of the crowd.
“What happened, boy?”
“Those fluffy grains are horrible, Dad. There were hardly any proper grains, you know, like the ones you and Mum give me.”
“Son, if you live long enough to have squabs of your own, you'll wanna rear em on the best pickings. But you gotta learn to take what you can get now, lad. You're on your o...
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The Fable of the Elephant

Barry J. Northern

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01/22/10 • -1 min


The Fable of the Elephant

by Barry J. Northern




A young elephant trailed behind the herd, trying not to be noticed. She wanted to play with the young ones, as she always had done, but Mother had told her that this year she was old enough to help with mothering duties.
The first of the new calves had been born the previous night. It had been a wonderful time, all the women of the herd celebrated, but Kijana now feared she would soon be set to some task or other.
The fear of impending duty grew within her until she could no longer bear it.
"Mother!" she called out. "I'm just off to the water-hole. I won't be long."
Mother turned around, her trunk swaying, ears flapping. "All right, dear."
Kijana had expected an argument. It seemed there were some advantages to being a little older, she thought, and stomped off to the water-hole alone. She was still young enough to feel nervous about leaving the herd behind, but felt emboldened when a pair of impala skittered away from her shadow.

Now it was Kijana's plan to escape the herd to avoid mothering duties, so she had decided to take the longest route to the furthest water-hole. She would make some excuse about needing a wash, for the water at the local hole was hardly deep enough for that. She chuckled at her own cleverness.
At the water-hole, however, she found she really was in need of a bath, for the it was further away than she had realised, and the day was hot.

After she had spent a long time washing, which was not one of her favourite duties, the sun had already begun to set, and she could barely see her herd's distant dust-cloud. She knew it was time to return, though she would gladly have rested longer.
On the way back she saw a she-lion stalking a herd of zebra. The herd was large, and Kijana feared that the she-lion might decide that a young, lone elephant was easier prey, so Kijana gave the lion, and the herd, a wide berth.
The journey back took over half as long again as the journey out, so that when she eventually returned to the herd she was quite out of breath and ready to sleep.
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The Fable of the Swallow

Barry J. Northern

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01/15/10 • -1 min


The Fable of the Swallow

by Barry J. Northern



A large roost of swallows settled about a tree, whose thinning branches fractured the sunset. One swallow among them stood on a high branch before her brood and proclaimed the end of Summer.
"My children. It is time for us to journey towards the Sun, to our wintering grounds."
The children became excited, especially one young lad from the first brood who had been dreaming of the wintering grounds ever since an old swallow told him of the burnt fields, teaming with fat flies. More than the promise of a great feast under a strong sun, however, Firstborn desired to make nest and find a wife.
He saw a younger brother on a lower branch, and hopped down to say farewell.
"I'm going now, brother, for I cannot wait. Will you fly with me?"
Secondborn laughed. "No-one may fly as fast as you, brother. But what is the hurry? Will you not roost here tonight and wait for the flock to leave?"
"No, I want to be there as soon as possible. I'll make the finest nest you ever saw!" And with a flicker of feathers Firstborn was gone.
Secondborn rose with the flock the next morning. He enjoyed the leisurely pace and the nightly roosts. Though he caught his food on the wing and kissed his wavering reflection as he passed over lakes to slake his thirst, he still took the time to look about him at the changing landscape. He had never imagined the world so large, nor so varied. The trees and mountains, sprawling man-nests and glittering seas, all of it swelled his heart through his glistening eyes.
Another young bird took to flying with Secondborn, for she too admired the lands over which they travelled. They began to sit together when roosting more and more, and the old ones smiled and sang.
Meanwhile, Firstborn flew with relentless...
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01/08/10 • -1 min

The Fable of the Rhino and the Oxpecker

by Barry J. Northern




One morning, a black rhino looked up from the thorny bush he was stripping with his hooked lips, for he heard the distant rumble of hoofbeats.
He squinted against the savannah sun and could see only a cloud of dust with a vaguely darker kernel, for his eyesite was poor.
He set his feet to the ground and charged off to meet this new threat, for the bush was good, and the females were nearby.

An oxpecker, who had been working at a tick near Rhino's ear, flew up above his head. "Charge, my tick-infested friend, charge well. Don't worry about your wounds, for I will keep them clean for you."
Rhino called back. "Thank you little friend. I will be back as soon as I have dealt with my enemy."
Rhino charged, and soon shortened the distance between himself and the approaching blur. The hoofbeats grew louder, until soon they were as loud as his own, and the distance closed so that even Rhino could clearly see his enemy -- another male, like himself.

He called out to him. "Begone, my enemy. There is no room for you here." Then horns collided, and huge pointed heads glanced across each other forcing the pair eye-to-eye for an instant. Then the energy of their momentum was spent, and then their heavy bodies pounded the hard dirt beneath them in a slow cycle of stand-off and head-butting.
The pair fought for several minutes, but Rhino was the largest, and so, before long, his rival backed away. "You are the better beast. Perhaps one day I will match your skill." Then Rhino's enemy turned and fled.
Rhino chuckled, but it was only as he ambled back to his bush that he began to feel his injuries.
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01/01/10 • -1 min


The Fable of the Rock Ptarmigan

by Barry J. Northern



High upon a rocky outcrop, a Rock Ptarmigan shed its last white feather and so his thoughts turned to finding a lady. Now Rock Ptarmigan men are proud of their fine feathered feet, and their thick plumage, which changes colour with the seasons, but most of all each is proud of his comb, for it is with the quality of his comb that he attracts a lady.

Rock worked his way down the outcrop towards his favourite spring, thankful that winter's touch no longer hardened the puddle from which he drank. As he bent down he regarded his comb's reflection. He thought it too small to impress or intimidate, and sighed, for he derived his greatest pleasure from the praise of others, and without it he knew he would strive for nothing beyond foraging for buds and catkins, and drinking from his favourite spring.

As Rock worked his way farther down the outcrop, he met a young man parading in front of a lady. Both were younger than he, and Rock was gratified when the man, taking one look at his comb, immediately stood aside and bowed.
“My Lord, I will continue to court this young lady's affections only by your leave.”
Rock smiled, and so flattered was he by the earnest young man's concession that he too bowed and said, “I grant you my leave, young sir.” His pride was further bolstered by the favouring look the young lady gave his comb as he passed by, and he also fancied he saw a flicker of disappointment pass across her delicate features.
Farther on down the slope, Rock spotted a less refined young man leaping around in front of a group of three women, crying, “Look at my comb, is it not the finest comb you ever saw? My ladies, which of you will be lucky enough to be mine I wonder?”

Rock smiled at the ladies' barely concealed laughter. “At least I am not as vain as that immodest youth,” he thought,and fluffed his feathers. Then he laughed at himself, for he was wise enough to realise that the very thought made him, in fact, vain of his own superior modesty.
He continued on down the mountainside, confident of finding good fighting and fine ladies to be won, and noted with amusement how his spirits had risen as he...
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12/25/09 • -1 min


The Fable of the Honey Bee

by Barry J. Northern



A honey bee worker emerged from her brood cell and immediately set about cleaning, for her new baby sister would need the nursery soon.
The Queen Bee inspected her work. "One has not cleaned it well enough. One must try harder."
Princess was mortified, for she only desired to be worthy in her mother's eyes. From then on she vowed to work harder than any other worker bee in the hive.

Princess and her sisters were eager to see the outside world and smell the flowers, for the source of nectar and pollen must be wonderous indeed, but it is the way of honey bee workers to attend to many tasks before they are old enough to go out and forage.
Firstly, Princess nursed her new larval sister, feeding it her own jelly. She enjoyed watching her sister grow, knowing that her elder sister had done the same for her. Before long it was time to ween the new princess onto honey and pollen, and the flow of jelly turned to one of wax.
After that, Princess left the brood cell and worked hard to impress her mother. She and the others used Princess' wax to build the combs and seal new honey within its cells.
Some of her sisters became attendants to the Queen. Princess was disappointed to not have been chosen, but she worked hard, and contented herself with dreams of flowers.
One day, an old forager came home with a substance from the flowers that Princess had never seen before. She took it in her hands.
"It is sticky."
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The Fable of the Kangaroo

Barry J. Northern

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12/18/09 • -1 min


The Fable of the Kangaroo

by Barry J. Northern



A young Joey peered out of his mother's pouch for the first time. His eyes were wide with wonder as he gazed out into the world, for it was far larger than he had ever imagined nestled in the warmth and safety of the pouch.
Out on the plains, some fascinating creatures were jumping around. "What are those, Mummy?"
Flyer looked down at her Joey. "Oh, my son, you are out of the pouch. I think you are too small to come out yet. Why don't you go back inside?"
"All right, Mummy," said Joey, and settled back down into the warm pouch.
The next day, Joey woke up remembering dreams of the open plains and the jumping creatures, and so he poked his head out again. The creatures were real -- he had not imagined them. "What are those, Mummy?"
Flyer looked down. "Oh, my son, you are out again."
One of those jumping creatures had a small head in its belly. Joey laughed. "They are creatures just like us aren't they?"
"Yes dear."
One of the other Joeys jumped out of its mother's pouch and sprang about around her in delighted circles.
Joey laughed again. "Look, Mummy, the other children are playing. Can I come out too?"
"Oh, my son, those children are bigger than you. You are so small. I think you should go back inside."
"But why?"
"It's not safe, my son."
"Why?"
"The world is not a safe place."
"Why?"
"You are too young to understand my son, please go back inside. You can come out when you're older."
Joey watched the other children playing around on the plains. It looked like fun, and he couldn't see anything unsafe, but he was a good boy, so he went back inside.
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The Fable of the Magpie

Barry J. Northern

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12/11/09 • -1 min


The Fable of the Magpie

by Barry J. Northern




There was once a magpie who built a nest for himself and his wife. It was a good nest, and they were happy. In their first two Springs they raised healthy clutches, and were proud each time their children left the nest. Yet Husband was not content.
"Will each year be the same as this?" he asked his wife.
"Are you not happy then, Husband?"
But he only said, "I am, my love," for he did not wish to upset his wife.

Later that day, Husband flew abroad searching for something with which to adorn his nest, for it was dull to his eyes, and he wished to improve it. He chanced upon a shiny object, and though he knew not what it was, he admired it, and so flew down to retrieve it in his beak.
Back at the nest, his wife looked up at Husband's return. "What have you there, Husband?"
He saw his own love for the shiny object reflected in her eyes. "Something to adorn our nest, my love," he said, and worked the object into the walls of their nest. He stood back to admire it, and said. "Now we can truly say our lot is improved."
Husband and Wife were pleased with their new decoration, but as time passed they grew accustomed to its beauty until they no longer noticed it.
One day, Husband flitted to the edge of the nest, and said to Wife. "I will fly abroad once more and look for something else with which to adorn our nest."
Husband soon came back with another shiny object, and for a time it made them both happy. Before long, however, they grew used to it as before, and so Husband once again flew abroad to find something else.
This continued until the next Spring, when the urge to make ready their nest for the new clutch came upon Wife. She looked around the nest, and said. "My love, our nest is beautiful, but there is no room for our clutch this year."
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