Ask The Psychologist

We've all been there - where we need to have a difficult conversation with someone and it just feels overwhelming, daunting and frightening. It is often hard for us to figure out what we would like to say and for many of us, we skirt around the subject, doing many dances before we get to the point. This is in the hope we can make the conversation feel easier, that is if we ever have that conversation. The alternative is that we avoid the conversation entirely. Here we talk about how can we have a difficult conversation with someone to help us feel heard and have our point across, as well as maintaining emotional safety for both people involved. Listen and share!

Here we talk about the importance of taking and holding a compassionate stance when it comes to ourselves and other people. Having a compassionate attitude towards the self and others can help relieve emotional pain experienced with life e.g. depression, anxiety, and panic, as well as unhelpful ways of being e.g., self-critical, punitive, and perfectionistic. For many of us, we have grown up in a place where we might feel 'threat' is facing us whereever we turn - the threat may be in the form of avoiding bullying or negative judgement from others. This threat might also push us into being more 'driven' and we might do this by working hard to achieve well at school, getting that promotion, or having the perfect body/house/car. Being more compassionate can allow us to forgive ourselves, acknowledge the suffering we experience and embrace kindness to the self.

Have you ever wondered where does the time go? You probably heard people saying "there aren't enough hours in the day" and we get overwhelmed that we have too much that we want to do with little time to do it in. Time slips away from us as we often are mindlessly procrastinate, doing things that are either unimportant. Alternatively, we can get dragged into doing things that feel urgent but do not necessarily feel fruitful for us. Instead of considering 'time management', we talk about 'priority management' to help us think about ways in which we use time to our advantage. Listen and share!

I've definitely had times where I have thought I would be much more productive with my life and have the opportunity to do more things with my time if I didn't need to sleep. I used to love the idea of not needing to sleep just so I could 'get more done' and therefore, somehow be more successful in life. As I've grown older, I really enjoy sleep! Whether you like it or not, sleep is integral to our wellbeing on so many levels - it supports muscle reparation, consolidation of neural pathways, strengthening of concentration and memory, emotional regulation, problem solving skills, and hormonal balance whilst keeping illnesses at bay. That my friends, is why you should be getting an early night on a Friday (haha).

Addiction comes in all forms. The obvious addictions we usually refer to are drugs and alcohol, but in actuality pretty much anything can be an addictive substance and feel like a drug. I'm talking about buying clothes, gambling, gaming, exercise, dieting etc. These can all become drugs of sorts and all can become addictive, particularly if we cannot find a balance between what it is that we are addicted to and other important things in life. Joined by my partner in crime, he opens himself up to speaking about his experiences of being addicted to gaming. We talk all things leading to addiction but also how to escape the trap of addiction. Let me know what you think!