Ask Christopher West

What is the difference between attraction and lust? My friend is considering using IVF to try to conceive. How can I help her? My son is going through marriage prep and has asked me for reading recommendations. What do you recommend?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Check out all the great content of our [online conference](tobvirtualconference.com).

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Q1: I was recently reading a novel written from a Christian perspective with Christian characters. One of the characters mentions that his growing attraction for the girl "had only started with lust." This line was jarring to me and brought to my attention that many Christians have a mistaken idea that any attraction that is not immediately and obviously spousal must be sinful.

Q2: I'm writing because I found out my best friend (who is Catholic, mind you) is planning on turning to IVF after years of trying to conceive. She has had several miscarriages as well. What can I say to her that will encourage her that IVF is not the answer to the future full of hope that she is seeking?

Q3: My son is getting married in the fall. Both he and his fiance are Catholic. He recently asked me if I had any reading recommendations to supplement his marriage prep. I am looking at several of your books and looking for your guidance. I'm considering "Good News About Sex and Marriage" or "Theology of the Body for Beginners". Thoughts?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Virtual Conference - Premium passes are still available, also check our our offerings in Spanish.

Into the Deep Retreats

Catholic Marriage Summit

The Good News about Sex and Marriage

Books by Greg and Lisa Popcak

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

I want to practice the spiritual disciplines of the saints and mystics, but they get in the way of my being a joyful wife and mother. How do I achieve balance here? I take pride in working out, but how do I keep this from straying into vanity?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: For years, I have studied mystical theology and put what I have learned into practice, longing for Union with God. He is so good; I do not doubt that He offers this Union to us all! However, I have bumped into a brick wall. How does one distinguish between scrupulous puritanism and the renouncement of all created things for the love of God? I love God very much and want to love Him more, but when I attempt the bodily mortifications recommended by the Saints in books about Union, I feel less capable of being a joyful wife and mother, less connected to my family in the sharing of a meal or a game or some other fun activity; a beer with my husband, for example. The fruits of these endeavors make me more difficult to live with; not more saintly! I am certain God does not want this, but He does want Union--even more than I do. That's the good news! Is there a separate path to Union for the married than to deny oneself all pleasures but those found in prayer?

Q2: Could you offer any TOB perspective on working out? If I honestly look at my heart as a young husband when I workout - the cultural air I'm breathing has filled it with vanity and ego associated with the increase of my strength. But I do feel a deep good in working out. My mind is just polluted by the culture. How can we maintain a St Joseph heart, while also putting effort into stewarding the masculine body that God gave us?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Virtual Conference Premium Pass

TOB Virtual Conference in Spanish!

Jason Evert's Virtual Chastity Project Conference

Good News about Sex and Marriage

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

What does the church teach about organ donation? How do I remain faithful to Church teaching on contraception while dealing with sexually abused youth? How do I deal with an abusive and dismissive husband?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I am finishing up a semester to be a certified Spiritual Director at St. Vincent Archabbey Seminary. What books should I read or courses should I take to integrate John Paul II's teaching as a spiritual director?

Q2: How do I help those with same-sex attraction to learn about the Theology of the Body?

Q3: What does the Church teach regarding organ donation and the donation of bodies for scientific research post-mortem?

Q4: What is your advice for avoiding the way of the Stoic?

Q5: I work with youth who live in situations where they face danger of sexual abuse. Contraception is often a topic at issue in these situations. How do I remain faithful to the teaching of the Church in these circumstances?

Q6: My husband says that I must have sex with him every 48 hours. Otherwise, he will fall into masturbation and mortal sin. He says it is my duty to prevent this. What do I do?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body Virtual Conference Premium Pass

At the Heart of the Gospel book

Word Made Flesh: A Companion to the Sunday Readings book

The Writings of Fr. Jacques Philippe

Anna Carter and Eden Invitation

Andrew Comiskey and Desert Stream Ministries

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

I'm very saddened by the loss of the Eucharist in quarantine. What do I do? God created man (male and female) in his own image, but God is not biological. How does this work? How do I deal with deep feelings of rejection after divorce and annulment?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: My question is about quarantine and the Eucharist, and I am sure others can relate. I have recently been falling more in love with the Lord through the Eucharist, but I took it for granted that He would be there at Mass every Sunday, and I didn't take time out of my week to go to daily Mass, which I now regret. I ache deeply to receive Jesus sacramentally and I long for the physical closeness of receiving Him in the Eucharist. I realize that the ache is a good thing, in a way, but often find myself resenting the fact that I cannot now receive Communion, and I tend toward self pity in this, not prayer. How can I recognize the grace God is offering in this time of trial and pray into the ache it is bringing about in my heart?

Q2: So in Genesis 1:27, which I'm sure you're very familiar with, it says "So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them."
So it says that God created them in his image, but he doesn't have a body, so it must be a different kind of image, not a biological one. But he says that he created them in the image of God, then he continues to elaborate by saying that that image is in the gender of Male and female. So my question is, if being in God's image is not meant biologically, how is it shown in the genders of male and female?

Q3: I am currently undergoing the divorce and annulment process. One of the largest reasons for things ending is that she just refused to have a physical relationship with me. After a lot of detailed conversations with priests and my counselor I can accept intellectually that I am not to blame for this, but I am really struggling with deep feelings of rejection and that there must be something wrong with me. Any advice?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Virtual Conference May 8-10, 2020

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

What is your opinion on the negative impact popular music has on the way men treat women? Are women responsible for presenting themselves in a way that does not arouse lust? My husband refuses to be intimate with me because of my dedication to the faith. What should I do?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Frist, I want to thank you for your podcast. It has helped me a lot in my life. I am currently finishing my last year of college studying psychology in Mexico and for me to graduate, I have to do a thesis. The topic I'm investigating is the impact popular music has on male college students to the way they see women – how listening to some types of music affects men in the objectification of women. I know Christopher is a big fan of music, so I wanted to hear your opinion on the negative impact popular music, especially rap and hip-hop genre, could have on men in the way they see and treat women.

Q2: I recently listened to Jason Evert interview Christopher West for the Love Life Conference. I had a question about something in the beginning when they spoke of jewels not being the cause of theft and the beauty of woman not being the cause of lust. I understand that, but is there some responsibility on the part of the woman to present herself in a wholesome way? I'm not saying we need to wear burlap sacks around but is there some sort of line that's crossed between wholesome beauty and something else? I remember a girl in highschool wanted to go to school in a t-shirt with no bra because she said, "It's my body. I'm not ashamed." Well that's not wrong; it's good not to be ashamed of our bodies, but we also need to respect others in how we present ourselves. I would appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

Q3: About seven years ago I had a radical reversion to our faith. I have fallen completely in love with our Lord and the beautiful faith that He left us. I just can't get enough of Theology of the Body. The problem is that only I feel this way. My husband has no interest in the beautiful teaching's of our faith and is quite hostile about TOB. He says I have changed in the way we're intimate together and perhaps I have because I have such profound reverence for the gift of the marital embrace. I love my husband very much and I long to be close to him, but he says that as long as I quote "love my faith more than him" then sex can't be what it used to be. He says that he is very sad and there is nothing to be done for it. He isn't open to counseling. He often expresses resentment that I love our Lord more than Him. I honestly just don't know what to do with this. I want to have a loving, healthy marriage but my husband has shut down nearly all intimacy.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.