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KJ

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11/19/21 • 39 min
Hi all! Jess here. I met performer and voice educator Cate Frazier-Neely through a mutual friend earlier this year, at a Sungazer concert. I was at the concert because my son is a massive fan of Sungazer bassist and YouTuber Adam Neely and Cate was there because she’s Adam Neely’s mom. When the topic of conversation turned away from my son’s hero worship of her son and toward writing and publishing (doesn’t it always?) she revealed she’d made ALL THE MISTAKES when self-publishing her first book, and, of course, I sensed an opportunity for an episode.
As this is a podcast all about flattening the learning curve for writers, I asked her to come on and tell us all the ugly details about publishing her book so we could learn from her mistakes.
Links from the Pod
Cate Frazier-Neely: https://www.catefnstudios.com
Episode 185: #AudioExplosion with Tanya Eby
Singing Through Change: Women's Voices in Midlife, Menopause, and Beyond by Cate Frazier-Neely
We had such a great time chatting we didn’t even get a chance to discuss what we’ve been reading!
Want a “coaching call” of your own? Email us at [email protected]. We can’t promise to respond to every email, but we might answer your question on an upcoming episode—or invite you into the hotseat!
Think you’d be pretty good on the other end of a coaching call? Then you should consider becoming a certified book coach through Author Accelerator’s book coach training program. It’s everything you need to know to begin working with clients on writing, planning, revising and querying (and then learning more and getting better with every new client and with Author Accelerator’s support and team behind you). Choose a fiction or nonfiction specialty, study with a cohort and design a new business or side-gig that works for you. Learn more at bookcoaches.com.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

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12/10/21 • 44 min
Ever want to know “how she did it”? This episode is our little version of How I Built This, in which we ask Zibby Owens—whose name you surely know by now—about how she turned a desire to be part of the world of books into a one-woman mini book empire.
Zibby Owens is the host of Moms Don’t Have Time to Read, a daily podcast featuring interviews with authors that has over 900 episodes. She’s also a Bookstagrammer with 16K followers, the host of a second podcast—Moms Don’t Have Time to Have Sex—the editor of two anthologies, Moms Don’t Have Time To and Moms Don’t Have Time to Have Kids—KJ contributed to that last one—and now the CEO of Zibby Books, a new publishing home for fiction and memoir. She’s a regular contributor to Good Morning America, she’s been called “America’s Top Bookfluencer” and she has two books coming soon: Princess Charming, a picture book, and Booked, a memoir. She’s also got four kids, and they’re kids—elementary and middle school age, not a bunch of independent high schoolers wandering around
But.
Five years ago Zibby was none of those things (except a mother of four). And that’s what I want to talk about. She’s built a massive literary life, a community, a reputation in just a few years, and—after totally owning the fact that she has help with her kids (heck, not just help, they’re completely gone every other weekend because, divorce sometimes works like that) and also that this isn’t how Zibby earns a living— we go back to the beginning and talk about what it took to get there.
Because no matter who you are, you can’t wake up and say, I think I’d like to be America’s Biggest Bookfluencer, and whip out your Amex card and make it happen. You can’t even take your Kardashian self and decide this is what you want and ask your assistant to set it up. This takes work and desire and passion, and we dig into how Zibby started, and how she made things take off.
Links from the pod:
Lee Carpenter: Red, White, Blue and Eleven
Andre Agassi: Open
Zibby Books Ambassadors (at bottom of Zibby Books page)
#AmReading
Zibby: Going There by Katie Couric
Hungry Hill by Eileen Patricia Curran
The Husbands by Chandler Baker
The Last Season by Jenny Judson & Danielle Mahfood
KJ: A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow
Jess: Speaking of Race by Celeste Headlee
Hey cupcakes, KJ here. Tonight I chatted with a writer who has a memoir that might—or might not—be ready to pitch. It’s hard to know the answer to that as a writer without getting some professional feedback (and you don’t want to pitch before you’re ready). So of course I pointed them toward Author Accelerator’s book coach matching services. The right coach can help get your project ready and then help you pitch it to the right agents. It’s an investment—but you’ve already invested HOW many years in this? I say go for it. And if you’d like to be the one to help writers make that leap, look into book coach certification. I loved the process—and I love knowing how to really help.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

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08/04/23 • 48 min
Part two of the memoir conversation: yes you do need an idea for a memoir. Gotta narrow things down, figure out what you want to share and why and most of all, why anyone would want to read it. There’s a difference between a memoir, and a memoir that the market will embrace—and we tell you how to find it.
Good news for memoir writers! Y’all probably know how much I love Jennie Nash’s Blueprint books. They really are the closest thing I’ve found to a guide for getting through draft after draft. I start with them, and I go back to them when I’m stuck. The Blueprints keep me on track and help me write the book I set out to write for the readers I hope to reach.
Her newest, Blueprint for a Memoir: How to Write a Memoir for the Marketplace is out now!
I think this Blueprint is Jennie’s best yet, with insights into story-telling that I’ll be using in all my work.
Hey you! Are you following KJ on TikTok? YES, KJ. Please do so now.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

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06/23/23 • 30 min
Two years ago, Jennie Nash and I (this is KJ) got into a debate about what was the best, most helpful book for a writer’s bookshelf. Almost instantly we realized that we couldn’t choose just one (although if we could, I suspect it’s Save the Cat Writes a Novel for me and Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit for Jennie, but even as I write that I’m having second thoughts in favor of Big Magic but I’m just SO ANNOYED with her right now because of the whole take-back-my-book thing) and, yeah.
Anyway. It’s summer reading time, and to my summer reading list I’ve added a few books about writing, starting with Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act: A Way of Being and, yes. Twyla Tharp’s book (it’s taken me this long to get over my resistance but JENNIE IS ALWAYS RIGHT about these things) and adding, for a practical note, Save the Cat Strikes Back by Blake Snyder and The Trope Thesaurus from Jennifer Hilt. (Want my non-professional summer reading list? Subscribe to #AmReading.)
If you’re looking to add to your own professional summer reading, you can’t do better than going back to the series of summer episodes that Jennie and I recorded as a result of that first debate. They’re all listed and linked below, along with the books we discussed, and I’m putting the first of them (Episode 269) here—in which we debate, yes, Big Magic versus The Creative Habit.
Since then, Jennie’s published two Blueprint for a Book books: one each for fiction and nonfiction and, coming later this summer, memoir. They’re all EXCELLENT and highly recommended as well.
Working Bookshelf Episodes:
Inspiration (Big Magic versus The Creative Habit)
Plotting (Save the Cat Writes a Novel versus The Situation and the Story)
Productivity (Productivity with Deep Work versus From 2K to 10K)
Up Your Game (The Practice versus The Bestseller Code)
When You're Stuck (The War of Art versus Dear Writer You Need to Quit)
Getting Published (The Essential Guide to Getting Published versus

07/31/20 • 43 min
Hey campers—I hate reading you all a canned intro to our authors every time, so I’m winging it with our guest, Sonali Dev. I’m a fan of hers, so I feel like I know all the things. She’s the author of four straight-up romances, but her last-book-but one is the start of a series written in homage to Jane Austen, as is her latest, both set among the members of a politically ambitious Indian family in California. Why Jane Austen? Because, as Sonali says, “those were the first books I read about women wanting things and getting them. Instead of ending up crazy or dead.”
We talk the pros and cons of writing from such revered material, whether readers are “looking for Lydia,” the need to make your heroine “likeable” (pro tip: the female Darcy is hard sledding) and supplying recipes for hungry readers.
Links from the pod:
Newsletter with a recipe booklet, recommendations, and a really bad joke.
#AmReading
Sonali: Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
The Kingmaker by Kennedy Ryan
KJ: The Proposal by Jasmine Guillory
Perfect Happiness by Kristyn Kusek Lewis
Sarina: Pale Rider by Laura Spinney
The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast financially. To join that team, click the button below:
But it’s all good. The pod is free as it always has and always will be. This shownotes email is free, too, so please—forward it to a friend, and if you haven’t already, join our email list and be on top of it every time there’s a new episode.
Find more about Jess here, Sarina here and about KJ here.
KJ Dell'Antonia 0:00
Hello fellow writers, we have an interview for you with Sonali Dev whose Bollywood romances have always reflected her love of all things Jane Austen, and whose latest books are all in on that passion. If you're all in with books, reading, and writing, you might want to check out the latest book from Jennie Nash at our sponsor, Author Accelerator - Read Books All Day and Get Paid For It: The Business of Book Coaching. You can find that and more at authoraccelerator.com. Is it recording?
Jess Lahey 0:30
Now it's recording.
KJ Dell'Antonia 0:33
This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone and try to remember what I'm supposed to be doing.
Jess Lahey 0:37
Alright, let's start over.
KJ Dell'Antonia 0:38
Awkward pause. I'm gonna rustle some papers. Okay, now one, two, three. Hey, I'm KJ Dell'Antonia and this is #AmWriting the weekly podcast about writing all the things, fiction, nonfiction, short pieces, long pieces, proposals, pitches, you are allowed to start to write things that do not start with P, although I may not list them here. And in short, we are the podcast about sitting down and getting your work done.
Sarina Bowen 1:14
I'm Sarina Bowen, I am trying to get the work done this week on romance novel number 36. And you can find more about me at sarinabowen.com.
KJ Dell'Antonia 1:25
And I am KJ Dell'Antonia. I'm the author of the novel The Chicken Sisters, and you heard it here first, I don't know when it's coming out. We've just delayed that puppy from this summer into the future. Not the indefinite future, but I don't know what kind of future. So everybody's talking me off the ledge because I'm not super happy about it, but it is what it is and when it comes out, it's gonna be great. It really is. I'm also the author of How to Be a Happier Parent, which did come out in paperback this summer. I'm a former editor of The Motherlode blog at the New York Times and still sometimes a contributor there. And you'll find me bookstagramming on Instagram at kjda. And we have a guest today that I'm really excited about. So I hate reading everybody the canned intro to the authors all the time, where I sort of just suck pieces off of their ...

07/24/20 • 43 min
This week, Jess got a message from some family members who’d read the draft of her forthcoming book, The Addiction Innoculation. They had ... thoughts.
Those thoughts turned out to be nothing drastic—but the emotional roller coaster Jess rode while waiting to hear more was a doozy, and got us all thinking about how much of ourselves is exposed when we write non-fiction with a memoir element, how real memoirists do it, and how often readers—especially those closest to you—read our fiction looking for hidden truths. It’s a fun conversation that also covers pool floats, parents, dream offices we probably wouldn’t use and more.
Links from the Podcast
Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl by Sandra Beasley
Mrs. Everything by Jen Weiner
#AmReading
KJ: Rodham by Curtis Sittenfeld
I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown
Jess: Notes on a Silencing by Lacy Crawford
Sarina: Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast financially. To join that team, click the button below:
But it’s all good. The pod is free as it always has and always will be. This shownotes email is free, too, so please—forward it to a friend, and if you haven’t already, join our email list and be on top of it every time there’s a new episode.
Find more about Jess here, Sarina here and about KJ here.
KJ Dell'Antonia 0:00
Hey there. Before we embark on a new episode, I get to tell you about our new sponsor, Dabble. I wrote my last book in a mad combination of Word and Scrivener and it worked fine. But putting the whole thing together in the end was hard. And I accidentally left a chapter out of a draft, confusing everyone. With Dabble the whole book is always just sitting there, already compiled and together as a unit, but still easy to navigate around in using chapters or scenes. It's magical, and I can't wait to make full use of it this time around. Give it a spin at dabblewriter.com and let us know what you think. Is it recording?
Jess Lahey 0:38
Now it's recording. Go ahead.
KJ Dell'Antonia 0:41
This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone and try to remember what I'm supposed to be doing.
Jess Lahey 0:45
Alright, let's start over.
KJ Dell'Antonia 0:46
Awkward pause. I'm gonna rustle some papers. Okay, now one, two, three.
I'm KJ Dell'Antonia and this is #AmWriting, the podcast about writing all the things - fiction, nonfiction, memoir, essays, proposals, pitches. In short, as I say most nearly every week, this is the podcast about sitting down and getting your writing work done.
I'm Jess Lahey. I'm the author of The Gift of Failure and the forthcoming Addiction Inoculation that'll be out in April 2021. And currently writing some stuff for The Washington Post and Air Mail. And yeah, I guess that's about it.
Sarina Bowen 1:31
And I'm Sarina Bowen, the author of 35 romance novels. And I'm currently writing nothing and it is glorious.
KJ Dell'Antonia 1:41
I'm KJ Dell'Antonia. I'm the author of How To Be a Happier Parent and the novel The Chicken Sisters, which is coming out this December look for it in bookstores near you if you can be in them and goodness knows I hope you can, but I'm not holding my breath. I am the former editor of The Motherlode Blog at the New York Times where I sometimes still contribute. And I write things for other places. But I am primarily now focused on fiction, kind of, mostly, more about that in a minute maybe.
Jess Lahey 2:12
Speaking of being able to go into bookstores, I was able to go into one for the first time recently, they're limiting their customers. I went to the Phoenix Bookstore in Burlington, and I was able to ...

Episode 177 #AudioWriter
#AmWriting
09/20/19 • 51 min
Joshilyn Jackson doesn't just write best-selling thrillers. She narrates them, too. Should we?
Episode links and a transcript follow—but first, a preview of the #WritersTopFive that will be dropping into #AmWriting supporter inboxes on Monday, September 23, 2019: Top Five Steps to Burn Chart Success (a How-to). Not joined that club yet? You’ll want to get on that. Support the podcast you love AND get weekly #WriterTopFives with actionable advice you can use for just $7 a month.
As always, this episode (and every episode) will appear for all subscribers in your usual podcast listening places, totally free as the #AmWriting Podcast has always been. This shownotes email is free, too, so please—forward it to a friend, and if you haven’t already, join our email list and be on top of it with the shownotes and a transcript every time there’s a new episode.
To support the podcast and help it stay free, subscribe to our weekly #WritersTopFive email.
LINKS FROM THE PODCAST
#AmReading (Watching, Listening)
Jess:
I Like to Watch: Arguing My Way Through the TV Revolution, Emily Nussbaum
KJ:
Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, David Epstein
Joshilyn:
Gretchen, Shannon Kirk
The Better Liar: A Novel, Tanen Jones
Lady in the Lake, Laura Lippman
#FaveIndieBookstore
Little Shop of Stories, Decatur, GA
Our guest for this episode is Joshilyn Jackson.
She is the author of:
This episode was sponsored by Author Accelerator, the book coaching program that helps you get your work DONE. Visit https://www.authoraccelerator.com/amwritingfor details, special offers and Jennie Nash’s Inside-Outline template.
Find more about Jess here, Sarina here and about KJ here.
If you enjoyed this episode, we suggest you check out Marginally, a podcast about writing, work and friendship.
The image in our podcast illustration is by TK
Transcript (We use an AI service for transcription, and while we do clean it up a bit, some errors are the price of admission here. We hope it’s still helpful.)
KJ:

08/19/22 • 48 min
Writing is, sadly, not like reading.
Plenty of writers, including all of us on this episode, write a few hundred thousand words before we figure that out. Because in some ways, writing words about characters you’ve invented is easy. They go for coffee! They banter! And writing words about your non-fiction topic of choice, or the hike you took in the Sierra Nevadas—same same.
It’s writing the right words, in the right order, that’s the challenge.
DAMN IT.
In this episode, we introduce our favorite not-an-outline-if-you-hate-outlining but yeah ok let’s talk about that tool: the Inside Outline for fiction and the Outcome Outline for nonfiction. Long detailed outlines not for you? You’re golden—this demands the fewest possible words describing every scene or event that drives the reader through the book (Hello, Step 7, how we missed you).
Love a long detailed outline? Get ready to boil that down to its essence before you build it back up. Here’s the thing: this is supposed to be hard. It should feel impossible.
Because you can’t write everything. You have to choose.
This is the eighth episode in the 10-part Blueprint for a Book Series. Start with Step 1, do the work (we’ll give you an assignment every week), and in 10 weeks, you’ll have a solid foundation for a first draft or revision of your project that will help you push through to “the end”. Find details on the challenge HERE.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Fiction and Narrative Memoir:
Download the Inside Outline worksheet HERE and create your Inside Outline. Don’t cheat! Following the rules is what makes this powerful.
Nonfiction and Memoir/Self-Help
Download the Outcome Outline worksheet HERE and create your Outcome Outline. There are fewer rules for the Outcome Outline, but you have to be crystal clear about your logic.
(Note: We suggest you download a Blueprint answer workbook to keep track of your 10 assignments. That will make it easier to revise, review and come back to your work. Click to grab yours for fiction or nonfiction. If you are writing narrative memoir (a story), use the fiction workbook and assignments. If you are writing self-help/memoir, use the nonfiction workbook and assignments. Prefer paper? Tape the assignment into your journal and make a nice big heading so you know: This is Step 8. The Inside Outline or the Outcome Outline.)
LINKS
Rachael Herron’s How Do You Write Ep 301 with Isabel Cañas
Bittersweet, Susan Cain
We Need to Talk: A Memoir About Wealth, Jennifer Risher
The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron
The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Blueprint for a Book (Fiction and Memoir)
Blueprint for a Nonfiction Book
TODAY’S COACHES
A fan of true crime (#ssdgm) and mysteries of all kinds, Samantha Skal’s book coaching motto is “it’s time to get out of hell and finish your book”. Her magic gift is decoding agent rejections and helping writers produce and present their very best work. Find out more HERE.
For more from KJ, subscribe to her newsletter: Read. Eat. Listen. Or grab one of her novels, In Her Boots and The Chicken Sisters, wherever books are sold. Wondering about KJ as a book coach? Her current offerings are

08/26/22 • 60 min
If you’re not excited to dive in, something’s wrong.
You’ve got a why, a point, an audience. You’ve thought market, found a way to drive your book forward. Found the one or two sentences that describe every chapter or scene and made yourself consider why those chapters or scenes belong and now—you should feel ready to write.
But are you?
Sometimes we fool ourselves. We think we’ve got all the pieces, but we’ve glossed over the fact that two chapters in our TOC are really about the same thing or the reason the villain took the ship hostage is ... because she was feeling grumpy? Today we talk about hunting for those weak spots (when really you just want to run right past them with your eyes averted, and oh yeah we get that).
This is the ninth episode in the 10-part Blueprint for a Book Series. Start with Step 1, do the work (we’ll give you an assignment every week), and in 10 weeks, you’ll have a solid foundation for a first draft or revision of your project that will help you push through to “the end”. Find details on the challenge HERE.
ASSIGMENT
Fiction and Narrative Memoir:
Download the Ten Point Inside Outline Checklist HERE. Go through it to check your Inside Outline to make sure it is meeting all the requirements. If you find things that don’t hold together, that’s your clue about what you need to revise. Keep revising the Inside Outline until it’s as solid as possible.
If you aren’t planning to use a book coach to review your whole Blueprint, this is the moment when it can make good sense to bring in a critique partner Give them your Inside Outline and the Ten Point Inside Outline Checklist and ask them to put your outline to the test.
Nonfiction and Memoir/Self-Help:
Download the Seven Point Outcome Outline Checklist HERE. Go through it to check your Outcome Outline to make sure it is meeting all the requirements. If you find things that don’t hold together, that’s your clue about what you need to revise. Keep revising the Outcome Outline until it’s as solid as possible.
If you aren’t planning to use a book coach to review your whole Blueprint, this is the moment when it can make good sense to bring in a critique partner Give them your Outcome Outline and the Ten Point Inside Outline Checklist and ask them to put your outline to the test.
(Note: We suggest you download a Blueprint answer workbook to keep track of your 10 assignments. That will make it easier to revise, review and come back to your work. Click to grab yours for fiction or nonfiction. If you are writing narrative memoir (a story), use the fiction workbook and assignments. If you are writing self-help/memoir, use the nonfiction workbook and assignments. Prefer paper? Tape the assignment into your journal and make a nice big heading so you know: This is Step 9. The Outline Checklist)
LINKS
You are a Badass, Jen Sincero
Think Like a Monk, Jay Shetty
Bomb Shelter, Mary Laura Philpott
Blueprint for a Book (Fiction and Memoir)
Blueprint for a Nonfiction Book
TODAY’S COACHES
Jen Braaksma is a writer, teacher and book coach in Ottawa, Canada. Her next YA fantasy, Evangeline’s Heaven, is coming August 2022. She has the word “passion” tattooed on her wrist—literally—and she’s passionate about helping writers put their best work on the page. Find out more HERE.
For more from KJ, subscribe to her newsletter: Read. Eat. Listen. Or grab one of her novels, In Her Boots and

08/05/22 • 48 min
The structure of a book is only inevitable in hindsight.
Non-writers don’t usually notice structure unless it leaps out at them—reverse chronology, say, or an epistolary narrative. But structural choices loom huge for non-fiction writers and are no less important for memoir and fiction (although straight chronological is the white-shirt-and-blue-jeans of structure—relatable, easy to execute and nearly always appropriate). Will there be alternating timelines or POVs? A prologue? Who’s telling this story, and why, and how? When does it start and when does it end?
If you’ve done the exercises up until now, you know why you’re writing and who you’re writing for. You’ve thought about the market–where your readers are and what they want. You’ve drafted some back of the book copy in the hopes of reaching those readers–and to remind yourself of the promise you’re making to them. And you’ve thought about the change that propels readers through a book, which is a sneaky way into thinking about theme. This is where we get ready to start the actual writing of your story.
This is the sixth episode in the 10-part Blueprint for a Book Series. Start with Step 1, do the work (we’ll give you an assignment every week), and in 10 weeks, you’ll have a solid foundation for a first draft or revision of your project that will help you push through to “the end”. Find details on the challenge HERE.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Answer the following questions:
For fiction and narrative memoir:
Where is the narrator standing in time?
What period of time does the book cover?
Where does the book start and end?
Does the reader know things the protagonist does not, and if so, how? (This is a good chance to check to make sure that your POV serves your story.)
For nonfiction and memoir/self-help:
Choose a structural prototype from this worksheet. Download HERE
Answer the questions for that prototype.
(Note: We suggest you download a Blueprint answer workbook to keep track of your 10 assignments. That will make it easier to revise, review and come back to your work. Click to grab yours for fiction or nonfiction. If you are writing narrative memoir (a story), use the fiction workbook and assignments. If you are writing self-help/memoir, use the nonfiction workbook and assignments. Prefer paper? Tape the assignment into your journal and make a nice big heading so you know: This is Step 6. This is the page (or pages) on structure.)
LINKS
Wild, Cheryl Strayed
The Great Believers, Rebecca Makkai
In the Dream House, Carmen Maria Machado
The Part that Burns, Jeannine Ouellette
The Art of the Book Proposal, Eric Maisel
Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert
The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron
Cooked, Michael Pollan
Tribe of Mentors, Timothy Ferriss
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Lori Gottlieb
Moms Don’t Have Time To , Zibby Owens
A Three Dog Life, Abigail Thomas
Bird By Bird, Anne Lamott
Quiet, Susan Cain
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