Episode 203 I Spiritual Abuse Pt. 2 I Church or Cult?

06/02/21 • 55 min

Alotta Hats Podcast

Church or Cult Pt 2: Cults

This episode will dive into the complexities and deep effects of cults/cult-like environment.

TALKING POINTS

What is a cult?

Definitions:
- Cult (Culture)- “a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing”- websters
A few signs:
- Leader(s) are the ultimate authority. Have no accountability or “Yes-men”
- Others are shamed or discredited in some way for leaving the group or challenging beliefs/practices
- Shame Cycles: Need this group to feel loved, worthy or significant.

Narcissistic leadership in “Church”

The narcissist and the needy (perfect relationship match)
- Ex: Hillsong/Ravi situations (Can maybe mention these situations)
Signs
- Very Charismatic/charming personalities
- Love-bombing/flattery
- Manipulative
- Gaslighting
- Controlling

Healing

The aftermath/disconnecting
- Examine fruit
  - Does leadership actions match their words?
  - Learning the difference between imperfection vs deep character flaws
- Shame and Doubt
  - Give yourself space to question your beliefs and see what remains true (this can be very scary/lonely, but worth the journey)
  - Finding faults in yourself not perpetrators
- Vulnerability (jump from cult to cult)
- Reconnecting with God & Others (scared to trust Christians/churches)
Ways to heal
- Therapy
- Safe Community (Marks of a healthy church community)
  - Find someone that can validate your pain and help you grieve. Talk about it!
- Rest (Maybe take time off from local church/serving until you feel comfortable)

Recommendation Book/Links

Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan:

Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/Combating-Cult-Mind-Control-Audiobook/B07GZVGN9F?source_code=GO1DH13310082090P1&ds_rl=1262685&ds_rl=1263561&ds_rl=1260658&gclid=CjwKCAjwjuqDBhAGEiwAdX2cj57D_1DJe48WXjEtnR6UEoF3QHe-PxI9NO_9H7wlSYL8hMl1Hx8h7hoChDkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those/dp/0310345790

Church or Cult Pt 2: Cults

This episode will dive into the complexities and deep effects of cults/cult-like environment.

TALKING POINTS

What is a cult?

Definitions:
- Cult (Culture)- “a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing”- websters
A few signs:
- Leader(s) are the ultimate authority. Have no accountability or “Yes-men”
- Others are shamed or discredited in some way for leaving the group or challenging beliefs/practices
- Shame Cycles: Need this group to feel loved, worthy or significant.

Narcissistic leadership in “Church”

The narcissist and the needy (perfect relationship match)
- Ex: Hillsong/Ravi situations (Can maybe mention these situations)
Signs
- Very Charismatic/charming personalities
- Love-bombing/flattery
- Manipulative
- Gaslighting
- Controlling

Healing

The aftermath/disconnecting
- Examine fruit
  - Does leadership actions match their words?
  - Learning the difference between imperfection vs deep character flaws
- Shame and Doubt
  - Give yourself space to question your beliefs and see what remains true (this can be very scary/lonely, but worth the journey)
  - Finding faults in yourself not perpetrators
- Vulnerability (jump from cult to cult)
- Reconnecting with God & Others (scared to trust Christians/churches)
Ways to heal
- Therapy
- Safe Community (Marks of a healthy church community)
  - Find someone that can validate your pain and help you grieve. Talk about it!
- Rest (Maybe take time off from local church/serving until you feel comfortable)

Recommendation Book/Links

Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan:

Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those/dp/0310345790

Previous Episode

Episode 202 I Spiritual Abuse Pt. 1

EP 202: Spiritual Abuse Pt 1

This episode will dive into the complexities and deep effects of Spiritual abuse.

And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them. Romans 16:17

TALKING POINTS

What is Spiritual Abuse?

Definitions:
- Spiritual Abuse- “The mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person’s spiritual empowerment.”- The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

Storytime

Christina’s spiritual abuse journey....
Tiayrra’s spiritual abuse journey.....

Signs of Spiritual Abuse

One Emotion Churches (Only allowed to show one emotion of “happy” or rejoicing (1 Thess 5:16), any other emotion is shamed/looked down on
Can’t challenge leadership. (If you do, you're ultimately disobeying God. In theory they tell you to challenge them, but in practice they get defensive)
Giving your leftovers to the Lord
Everything is Spiritual (If you suffer with anxiety or mental disorders, then you are shamed for not “trusting God” ) / False promises- Come to Jesus and all your addictions will go away
Connection to God- Can only connect thru prayer, devotion, going to church. What if someone connects thru music, nature, art?
Legalism- Controlling (Church must approve who you date, what jobs you take, if you move, etc (Extreme case)

Recommendation Book/Links

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse:

Book: https://bibleandbookcenter.com/read/the-subtle-power-of-spiritual-abuse/

Spiritual Abuse Lecture by Tim Fletcher:

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PU8c-fzNwo

Toxic Faith by Dr. Stephen Arterburn:

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siE2JKPNX_4

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Faith-Stephen-Arterburn/dp/0877888256

Next Episode

Episode 204 I NFT Art 101

EP: 204 - NFT Art 101

This episode will dive into the world of NFT art and Bitcoin.

TALKING POINTS

Introduction to NFT Art (Tiayrra)

What is it? Instagram x Ebay having a baby outta wedlock
- Process (Mint , Listing, Bid)
  - Artist ownership/royalties
  - Key Terms explained
    - Minting, Listing, Gas, Ethereum
  - Fees
- Platforms (Invite only vs public)
  - Foundation
  - Opensea
  - Rarible
- Black Artist vs NFT
  - Business vs art
  - Is black art selling
    - Black artist selling low