Alan Weiss's The Uncomfortable Truth® - No Benefit, No Doubt

No Benefit, No Doubt

07/13/23 • 6 min

Remember “the benefit of the doubt”? That was meant to convey the belief that, when something was in doubt, give the other person a break. Don’t assume guilt, or fault, or ulterior motive. Maybe it was just a mistake, or an accident, or your misunderstanding. So we tended to ask, “Is that what you meant to say?” or “Why exactly did you do that?” or “Perhaps I’m not understanding this correctly.” We also forgave people when it was their fault, they did make an error. Marriages generally have not ended because of a forgotten anniversary or the divorce rate would be even higher than it is. Today, we almost always assume fault and flaw, and often we assume malice. We don't just believe someone inadvertently causes us pain, we default to the belief that they intentionally wanted to harm us. We don’t see accidents, we see conspiracies. And we don’t forgive or forget. We get even. We’ve moved light years away from “Do unto others....” to “undo others.” The other person isn’t wrong or even mistaken, they are ignorant and unethical. We see this clearly from a higher moral plain. If you’re not here to help me then you must be here to hurt me. There is no middle ground. You’re with me or against me. And if you’re against me, well you’re an inferior and subject to whatever I can dole out to demonstrate that. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that most of you will agree that we ought to give each other a break.

Previous Episode

A Conversation with Randy Gage

Randy told me once that you don’t end poverty by creating more of it. He’s an independent thinker on prosperity and success. He doesn’t connect prosperity solely to financial well-being, but rather to an intelligent combination of factors, happiness being one of them. He very pessimistic about our news sources and you’ll be fascinated by his personal, daily routine. He actually times himself on Twitter and eschews the other social media platforms. He’s overall an optimistic guy, but admits his pessimism has slightly increased of late. (Here’s his blog post on social media killing prosperity: https://randygage.com/social-media-is-killing-your-prosperity/) We both agree that young people have it harder today with extreme normative pressures, poor educations, and more limited opportunities. Once upon a time you were graduated from college with an assortment of useful business and life skills. Today, not so much. Consequently, we discuss the “fall of conventional universities” and their increasing irrelevance. The future will be about competencies and not initials after one’s name. We’re “taught” to be self-effacing and “humble,” two conditions which neither boost our self-worth nor improve our standing in others’ eyes. Too many people feel powerless today, and believe they have little or no control over their lives and destinies.

Next Episode

A Conversation with Tony Estrella

I could share theater stories with Tony all day long. As both an actor and director of great stature, his knowledge of the theater and its strengths and weaknesses is impressive. We talk about the myth of the “dying” theater and the “aging” demographic. Tony points out that both the theater and the audiences have been “dying” since birth, to be replaced by new cohorts. His view is that people most appreciate the arts in their middle age and beyond. It’s not all that surprising that younger people often have far less interest. I brought up the “drama within a drama” when an audience medical emergency stops a play, and those times when the “fourth wall” needs to be broken (or shouldn’t be). We’re both big Kevin Kline fans, and we have appropriate “fourth wall” stories (Tony’s is far better). Money is a chronic problem for the arts, because debt kills the ability to experiment and the freedom to fail. It’s dangerous for the arts to become conservative and afraid. We’ve both been colleagues of Oskar Eustis, who is now the artistic director of The Public in New York City, and who’s brought works such as Hamilton to the stage. We parse what Oskar has meant in his writing and speaking about “art being neither red nor blue, but for everyone.” The “Netflix” phenomenon has created serious problems for movies, but there is no such comparison with live theater. Since Thespis began the art form, and two people began speaking to each other on stage, creating dramatic tension and a storyline, the culture of the theater has remained a central element of society. The recent actors’ strike since we recorded this session brings even more relevance to our discussion. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.