Addiction Makes Three

In episode 3 I am asking the question - "where is my gawd damn lasagne?"

As I dig into the archives (Again) and find a blog post that I wrote back in October 2019, titled, "No lasagne for you!" A blog post that I never posted... because I decided against doing a blog!

And why... why when we are in some of the toughest, most confusing, exhausting and scary times of our life, do we not have people lining up to support us?

I speak about how we dance with our shame, secrecy and denial and how that keeps us stuck.

All the grief we go through (just scratching the surface on this one) and how we can sometimes try and bargain with the grief gods.

I propose some first small steps to take, if you have not yet put your hand up for suppport and what this could look like

New episodes weekly.

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In this episode, I am diving deep into the complexities of recognising problematic behaviour in loved ones, when dealing with addiction and recovery.

I highlight the emotional toll such behaviours can take on your life and mental health, stressing the importance of trusting yourself. Here I discuss why it's crucial to identify if a loved one's actions are affecting your well-being, even if societal norms suggest otherwise. I offers insights on navigating recovery, establishing healthy boundaries with yourself, those around you and your loved one, and most importantly taking personal responsibility for your own wellbeing, choices and happiness.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognise the Impact: If your loved one's addiction or behaviour is negatively affecting your life, it’s a problem for you—even if no one else sees it that way.
• Trust Your Instincts: You don’t need anyone’s validation to determine if a behaviour is problematic for you. Trust your own judgment.
• Alcohol and Society: Alcohol is deeply ingrained in society, making discussions about its misuse and impact on relationships even more challenging.
• Set Your Own Boundaries: It’s important to define what acceptable behaviour looks like for you, independent of others’ opinions.
• Prioritise Your Happiness: Your happiness and mental health should not be dependent on someone else’s actions or their recovery journey.
• Take the First Step: Acknowledging that there’s a problem is the first step toward creating positive change in your life.
• Recovery is a Journey: Sobriety and recovery are ongoing processes that require commitment from both parties involved.
• Evolving Boundaries: It’s okay to adjust your boundaries as you grow and evolve in your life and relationships.
• Avoid Gaslighting: Gaslighting can make you question your reality and whether something is truly a problem. Trust yourself.
• Healthy Relationships: Clear communication and taking personal responsibility are key to maintaining healthy, supportive relationships.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of addiction in their relationship, providing tools to protect your mental health and find clarity amidst the chaos. Whether you're questioning your partner's alcohol or drug use or other problematic behaviour, or dealing with the emotional complexities of a loved one’s recovery, I'm hoping this episode will empower you to take control of your own well-being.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or [email protected]

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Book in a friendly chat about your situation and how it can be better: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into a fear that many face in the journey of supporting a loved one with addiction: relapse.

Whether your loved one has relapsed before, or you’re constantly worried it might happen, this conversation is here to bring clarity, strength, and hope.

Relapse can feel like a devastating setback, leaving you questioning if all the hard work and progress have been wasted. But it doesn’t have to mean starting from zero. In this episode, we explore the difference between a lapse and a relapse—a crucial distinction that can completely change the way you approach your loved one’s journey and your own response.

We’ll talk about the mindset shift needed in how we view setbacks and stumbles and see them as part of change rather than its end, with a few practical analogies that help reframe these moments.

What You’ll Learn:

• The key difference between a lapse and a relapse and why it matters
• How to reframe setbacks with compassion and understanding for both of you
• Practical steps to support your loved one and yourself in a positive way during challenging times
• Tools to help you helpfully navigate your emotions, thoughts, and responses
• Why language matters here.

Mentioned in This Episode:

• I had a lapse of my own in January 2024 - listen to Episode 10 of the podcast
• Pathway to Wellness Program: Dive deeper into understanding addiction and effective strategies to support yourself and your loved one.

This episode is for anyone feeling the weight of a loved one’s struggles, offering a perspective that brings hope, empathy, and resilience. Tune in, take a breath, and know that you are not alone in this journey.

Show Notes:

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast ...

Be the first to know when the doors open to the Kind and Evidenced based program for loved ones and spouses of those struggling with addiction or in recovery - The three month Pathway to Wellness Program. Drop your details here.

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or [email protected]

Are we Instagram friends?

Book in a friendly chat about your situation and how it can be better: Click here to find a time

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I discuss what rehab looks like after someone comes home and the importance of doing your own work. Emphasising that rehab is not a silver bullet and that both the person in recovery and their loved ones need to take responsibility for their own growth and happiness. I talk about and encourage open and honest communication, setting realistic goals, and handling the truth in a safe and healthy way. will also talking some big truths about the importance of stepping off the roller coaster of addiction and focusing on personal growth and self-trust.

In this episode I talk about what the the tail end of rehab and coming back home looks like and all the complexities around that for the loved ones. The constant and low hum of anxiety about your loved ones up coming departure from rehab/recovery program, and a lot of thoughts and worries about what happens now, what does it look like and how do we go about living life once rehab is done.

Things are usually quite dire when someone goes into rehab, the situation is constant chaos and crisis and you are both on the roller coaster of crazy, toxic and unhealthy behaviours. So how do we rebuild and move forwards in a healthy way?

I talk about what I wish I then that I know now and some tough truths that you need to do for yourself, so you can step forward together in a healthy way. Digging into what does success look like, for you and for them? And how can we build on that with the model fo change and realistic expectations - so that everyone is on the same page.

If your loved one is going to, in or has been to rehab/recovery programs, they are (trying to) step off the addiction roller coaster and the hamster wheel - you need to work out how you are going to do the same. And that might be hard to hear.

I would invite you to stop sitting in the cheap seats of your life and think about how you can show up as a main character - Independent of what loved one does...you need and deserve to live a great life.

Key Takeaways:

• Rehab is not a silver bullet and both the person in recovery and their loved ones need to do their own work.
• Open and honest communication is crucial for a healthy relationship after rehab.
• Setting realistic goals and handling the truth in a safe and healthy way are important for personal growth.
• Stepping off the roller coaster of addiction and focusing on self-trust and personal happiness is essential.
• There are many different paths to recovery, and it's important to find what works best for each individual.

Let's get into it!

Show Notes:

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or [email protected]

Would you like the weekly wellness wires emails in your inbox - Yes please!

Are we Instagram friends?

Book in a friendly chat: Click here to find a time

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: Drop your details here

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Ooof.

I came across this heart breaking, courageous and beautiful piece of writing recently and I couldn't get it out of my head. So I sent SITC an email asking if I could read it on my podcast as I know it'll resonate in your heart and soul like it did mine.

What struck me most, aside from the rawness was the accountability, ownership and the acknowledgement of the hurt caused and the consistent effort required to stay on the good path.

And that is everything.

What hit me in my stomach were the two simple sentences on trust... so so true.

So thank you to the lovely man that wrote that and I'm sure your Bush Tribe are very proud to support you and walk alongside you.

This writing was published on Sober In the Country (SITC) Instagram's page and you can read more about their good work and things they do here

Change isn't easy, and it's possible. For everyone. No matter where you are in this.

I too then thought - I have had many requests (so uncomfortable writing this) about my poem and could I read it again - save it somewhere... well here it is.

I thought it was fitting to put these two pieces of expressive writing together. An expression from both sides of the same coin, both drowning in pain and shame, but experiences that are different.

If you would like to submit a listener letter or piece of writing, please (please!) do send them in an I will read them out - email here or [email protected].

I think this is a lovely form of expression and goes very much to the core of it all.

Show Notes:

I love getting mail! Send me an email here or [email protected]

Would you like the weekly wellness wires emails in your inbox - Yes please!

Are we Instagram friends?

Book in a friendly chat: Click here to find a time

If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: Drop your details here

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.