Addict II Athlete Podcast

Coach Blu And Coach David Clark sit down long enough to talk about life in the last 365 days. David Clark shares his thoughts and feelings on seeing the good in the bad, the enlightenment he has experienced since tearing his Achilles tendon several weeks ago. Coach Blu and Coach Clark discuss how moving forward despite was coming down the pipeline is the only true way to experience life for what it is. To be sober, to be involved, and to know, life is what you make it. www.AddictToAthlete.org

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STAGES OF LOVE

1. Falling in love 2. Falling out of love and 3. Learning how to love and be loved

Building Blocks of a Great Relationship

1. Trust. Our first essential task, according to Erickson’s theory of the psychosocial stages of life, involves trust versus mistrust. It should be no surprise that our first goal in life is to master trust, since that is the basis for all of our relationships moving forward. For many of us, our earliest experiences have been positive enough to allow us to adopt a trusting attitude. Some, though, have great difficulty with this, perhaps as a result of instability, inconsistency, invasion of boundaries, or even actual threat of harm or alienation. Mistrust can manifest in isolation and avoidance of intimacy.

2. Commitment. Once trust is established, our focus shifts to a decision about whom we will invite to share ourselves and our lives with; those to whom we will commit our full attention, time, and energy. Commitment is reserved for only those people who have proven that they are capable of sticking around for the long haul and are ready, willing, and able to share themselves with us, and to have us do the same. Think loyalty.

3. Intimacy. This means that we care enough and are comfortable enough to share all aspects of ourselves. We feel the desire to open our soul to someone who cares enough about us to understand and support us fully in most everything we do. Intimacy implies vulnerability: We are willing to show parts of ourselves we are not so sure about—our weaknesses, our neuroses, and the things we like least about ourselves. We feel down deep that the ones we choose to have in our lives know us and accept us, warts and all.

4. Respect. The word literally means “regard,” or “to look back at.” Interesting, since most of us would probably say that respect has come to mean a kind of veneration—having a deep reverence for someone or something. And certainly, those with whom we are most intimate deserve this, as do we. But the origin of the word shows us something very different. When it comes to an intimate relationship, it’s about the mutual mirroring of emotions, feelings, and beliefs. Respect says, “What I see in you I hold as just as important as what I see in myself.”

5. Communication. This can mean any kind of transmission between people, including non-verbal. We are all too familiar with times when our communication seems to be at cross-purposes. People are talking, but not really listening; their own agenda is far too important to include someone else’s. Good communication is facilitated by trust, commitment, and respect. We communicate in a healthy relationship for a common purpose; which also, by the way, is what the word actually means. We are trying to express how we feel and what we believe in, and we need to do so in an environment that is safe, supportive, accepting, and loving; one that is totally free of judgment, criticism, alienation, and anguish.

6. Empathy. In essence, empathy means being able to feel and understand, as well as anyone can feel and understand anyone other than themselves. And it means being able to walk in someone else’s shoes. Once you intimately understand and experience another, the ability to feel what they feel (as close to the way they actually feel it), to know what they’re thinking (almost reading their mind), and to understand how they process what is happening to them becomes easier.

7. Forgiveness

Even when your partner does something that upsets you, you must be willing to forgive them. This doesn’t mean you have to forget it, but you must be able to discuss what happened and move on after an apology and some time has passed.

8. Autonomy

You may love your time with your spouse but wish to spend time with others. When you want to do your own thing sometimes, this is called autonomy and it is something that must be present in a relationship.

Keep in mind that while you get to do the things you want, your partner must also be able to. This keeps everything fair.

Coach Blu and Joe Mortenson discuss their personal experiences with overcoming challenges and pursuing their passions. They emphasize the importance of setting goals, surrounding oneself with supportive people, and maintaining a balanced lifestyle. Joe shares his journey of recovering from a severe ankle injury and defying the expectations of doctors. They also discuss the power of running and the mental and physical benefits it provides. In this conversation, Coach Blu and Joe discuss the importance of maintaining balance in life and making priorities. They emphasize the need to prioritize relationships with family and loved ones, as well as personal health and wellness. They share personal stories and examples of how they have made these priorities a central focus in their lives. They also discuss the power of visualization, positive thinking, and perseverance in achieving goals. They encourage listeners to change their relationship with failure and view it as a learning opportunity. They also discuss the importance of blocking out naysayers and surrounding oneself with positive influences.

This week's episode is a collaboration and panel discussion with professionals on the topic of Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma.

Our relationship is deeply rooted in emotion. You share your memories, accomplishments, goals, hopes, and dreams with your significant other or partner. You have come to rely on each other for emotional support and guidance. This can make being betrayed by your partner even more devastating than being betrayed by a friend or family member because the betrayal affects so many aspects of your life.

When we are betrayed by someone we love, it feels like the world is ending. We wonder how we will get through our days, let alone survive them. Our hearts are broken and our trust is shattered.

When this person was supposed to be your safe place, your anchor in life, your heart can feel like it has been torn out of your chest. Betrayal trauma can send us into a tailspin that can take years to recover.

Sexual betrayal is one of the most intense and impactful types of betrayal because sex is supposed to be an intimate experience between two people who love each other. It is the act of giving all of yourself to your significant other or partner and being completely vulnerable. When this happens outside of a committed relationship, it can feel like a complete violation of trust and loyalty.

Panel Guests

Kathy Kinghorn, LMHC https://kathykinghorn.com

Marni Bown, Life Coach specializing in Betrayal Trauma http://marnibown.com

Raquel Custer, APSATS, Life Coach https://bloomforwomen.com

Holly Martinez, CMHC https://therapyutah.org

Sheri Loveless Braithwaite. https://www.facebook.com/sheri.braith... or https://linktr.ee/sheribraithwaite

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Dre Baldwin, a former professional basketball player, shares his journey from being a walk-on player to becoming a successful athlete and entrepreneur. He emphasizes the importance of discipline, practice, and mindset in achieving success. Dre also discusses the challenges of adapting to new environments and cultures while playing professional basketball in Europe. He highlights the transition from player to leader and coach, and the power of sharing knowledge through writing. Dre's key principles for success include mindset, strategy, systems, and accountability. He encourages individuals to seek guidance and support to accelerate their progress. In this conversation, Dre Baldwin discusses the concept of the 'third day' and how it separates those who achieve from those who only halfway achieve. He also introduces his book, 'The Third Day,' which he believes is beneficial for individuals recovering from addiction. Dre emphasizes the importance of dealing with the challenges that arise on the third day and offers a free copy of the book to listeners. The conversation concludes with Dre sharing advice on understanding one's game and consistently producing results in life.

Dre Baldwins socials- @drebaldwin

Book- thirddaybook.com