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Abiding Together - S10 E06: Daughter Part 3: Wounds of a Daughter

S10 E06: Daughter Part 3: Wounds of a Daughter

10/18/21 • 44 min

1 Listener

Abiding Together

In this episode, we continue our four part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now offered in video on youtube! We discuss wounds from our childhood - rejection, abandonment and a failure to feel safe - and the lasting effects these wounds can have in our adult relationships. We chat about loving our younger selves with compassion, so that we can receive God’s unconditional love today. We pray you would allow the Divine Healer to look on your wounds with compassion this week! Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - Mama Heidland’s Seafood Gumbo Recipe

Michelle’s one thing - Sacred Rest by by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith

Heather’s one thing - Change the Way You Think: A Conversation with Louie Giglio, Jennie Allen and Craig Groeschel

Other Books Mentioned -

Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave you - James Friesen

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom - Henri Nouwen

Discussion questions:

  1. What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
  2. Are your childhood wounds healed places of glory or are they bandaged up, still hiding, and in need of Christ’s light?
  3. How do you see core wounds from childhood - abandonment, rejection or a gap created because your heart did not feel safe - affecting your relationships today? Do you recognize any of the effects listed by Sister Miriam in the episode? How can you receive God’s restoration for you in these places?
  4. What does it look like to welcome home the little parts of yourself with compassion and gentleness?

Journal Questions:

  1. Are there particular memories from your childhood that this series has brought to the surface? Where do you need to hear the truth that the woundedness caused by others was not your fault?
  2. Try to find a picture of your younger self. What would you like to share with her or him? Are there critical words and judgements you would like to take back or words of affirmation and compassion you need to speak over your younger self?
  3. Pray with Jesus’ words ‘be not afraid.’ How does He desire for you to receive this message when acknowledging wounds from your childhood?

Quotes to Ponder: “You keep listening to those who seem to reject you. But they never speak about you. They speak about their own limitations. They confess their poverty in the face of your needs and desires. They simply ask for your compassion. They do not say that you are bad, ugly, or despicable. They say only that you are asking for something they cannot give and that they need to get some distance from you to survive emotionally. The sadness is that you perceive their necessary withdrawal as a rejection of you instead of as a call to return home and discover your true belovedness.” - Henri Nouwen

“A part of you was left behind very early in your life: the part that never felt completely received. It is full of fears. Meanwhile, you grew up with many survival skills. But you want yourself to be one. So you have to bring home the part of you that was left behind. That is not easy, because you have become quite a formidable person, and your fearful part does not know if it can safely dwell with you. Your grown-up self has to become very childlike—hospitable, gentle, and caring—so your anxious self can return and feel safe.” - Henri Nouwen

Scripture for Lectio Divina - “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:14-21

This episode is sponsored by House of Joppa.

This week’s episode is sponsored by House of Joppa. If you are looking for beautiful Catholic home décor, jewelry, art, rosaries or other Catholic gifts, look no farther than House of Joppa....

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In this episode, we continue our four part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now offered in video on youtube! We discuss wounds from our childhood - rejection, abandonment and a failure to feel safe - and the lasting effects these wounds can have in our adult relationships. We chat about loving our younger selves with compassion, so that we can receive God’s unconditional love today. We pray you would allow the Divine Healer to look on your wounds with compassion this week! Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - Mama Heidland’s Seafood Gumbo Recipe

Michelle’s one thing - Sacred Rest by by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith

Heather’s one thing - Change the Way You Think: A Conversation with Louie Giglio, Jennie Allen and Craig Groeschel

Other Books Mentioned -

Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave you - James Friesen

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom - Henri Nouwen

Discussion questions:

  1. What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
  2. Are your childhood wounds healed places of glory or are they bandaged up, still hiding, and in need of Christ’s light?
  3. How do you see core wounds from childhood - abandonment, rejection or a gap created because your heart did not feel safe - affecting your relationships today? Do you recognize any of the effects listed by Sister Miriam in the episode? How can you receive God’s restoration for you in these places?
  4. What does it look like to welcome home the little parts of yourself with compassion and gentleness?

Journal Questions:

  1. Are there particular memories from your childhood that this series has brought to the surface? Where do you need to hear the truth that the woundedness caused by others was not your fault?
  2. Try to find a picture of your younger self. What would you like to share with her or him? Are there critical words and judgements you would like to take back or words of affirmation and compassion you need to speak over your younger self?
  3. Pray with Jesus’ words ‘be not afraid.’ How does He desire for you to receive this message when acknowledging wounds from your childhood?

Quotes to Ponder: “You keep listening to those who seem to reject you. But they never speak about you. They speak about their own limitations. They confess their poverty in the face of your needs and desires. They simply ask for your compassion. They do not say that you are bad, ugly, or despicable. They say only that you are asking for something they cannot give and that they need to get some distance from you to survive emotionally. The sadness is that you perceive their necessary withdrawal as a rejection of you instead of as a call to return home and discover your true belovedness.” - Henri Nouwen

“A part of you was left behind very early in your life: the part that never felt completely received. It is full of fears. Meanwhile, you grew up with many survival skills. But you want yourself to be one. So you have to bring home the part of you that was left behind. That is not easy, because you have become quite a formidable person, and your fearful part does not know if it can safely dwell with you. Your grown-up self has to become very childlike—hospitable, gentle, and caring—so your anxious self can return and feel safe.” - Henri Nouwen

Scripture for Lectio Divina - “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:14-21

This episode is sponsored by House of Joppa.

This week’s episode is sponsored by House of Joppa. If you are looking for beautiful Catholic home décor, jewelry, art, rosaries or other Catholic gifts, look no farther than House of Joppa....

Previous Episode

undefined - S10 E05: Daughter Part 2: Seen, Known and Loved: The Core Needs of a Daughter

S10 E05: Daughter Part 2: Seen, Known and Loved: The Core Needs of a Daughter

In this episode, we continue our four part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now available on youtube: https://youtu.be/0TJKUIE1HOQ. We discuss the core needs of early childhood - to be seen, known and loved - and how this time is crucial in learning to trust and receive. We share our fears of being seen as needy or as a burden to others as well as what counterfeit needs are vs actual needs. We chat about the healing that we experience when we allow God the Father to love us in the places we didn’t receive what we needed as a child. Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - The life of our recently passed SOLT sister, Sister Maria of Merciful Love

Michelle’s one thing - The Sisters of Life and The Litany of Trust

Heather’s one thing - Restore the Glory Podcast Healing in Marriage Series

Other Books Mentioned - Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave you - James Friesen

Discussion questions:

  1. What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
  2. How have you felt seen, known and loved by God and others recently? In what areas of your heart and life do you still long to experience that?
  3. What counterfeit needs (I need a break, I need to watch tv, etc.) do you often substitute for your real need (I need to be acknowledged, seen, loved)? How can you take time to pause and ask yourself what you truly need in particular moments throughout your day?
  4. Do fears of rejection or being seen as ‘needy’ prevent you from expressing your needs and desires to those who want to love you? How can you better articulate your needs to your community, family, and God?
  5. How is the fruit of joy abundant and fragrant in your life? If not, what is at the root of that?

Journal Questions:

  1. Are there areas of your heart that you have shut down or relationships you have ‘canceled’ because someone did not meet your need to be seen, known and loved? How might God be asking you to give yourself or another person a new chance?
  2. Take a moment to reflect on any memories or experiences from your childhood where you did not feel seen, known and loved. Invite God to restore and heal these moments and fill any gaps that may have been created.
  3. Write down some practical ways you can notice, affirm and show greater love towards those who have been entrusted to you in your family and community.

Quotes to Ponder: “Your great trust in Me forces me to continuously grant you graces. You have great and incomprehensible rights over My Heart, for you are a daughter of complete trust." - Jesus to St. Faustina

Scripture for Lectio Divina - “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:14-21

This episode is sponsored by Corda Candles.

Connect with the saints through scent, with handcrafted CORDA candles. Each unique scent is directly inspired by saints and the faith, and custom blended in house. As you burn the candle and enjoy the custom scent, there’s a tangible, concrete connection to the holy men and women who have gone before us.Help support SOLT, Sr. Miriam’s order, by purchasing the Cloistered Heart candle, inspired by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity. Its contemplative notes of cherry and violet are fresh and clean. This exclusive candle was commissioned by the Abiding Together podcast and 15% is donated to SOLT. It’s available for a limited time only, now through November 30, 2021.There are many more candles to explore, including ones inspired by Our Lady of Guadalupe, St. Michael the Archangel, and Night Prayer. Shop online at

Next Episode

undefined - S10 E07 Daughter Part 4: The Redemption of Daughterhood

S10 E07 Daughter Part 4: The Redemption of Daughterhood

In this episode, we complete our four part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now offered in video on youtube! We discuss the full redemption God desires for his daughters emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and in a particular way as women, physically through our bodies and beauty. We chat about the practice of repentance and declaring the truth about ourselves, body and soul. We pray you would allow Christ to bring your whole self into communion with him in your identity as daughter so you may grow into a sister, a mother and a bride. Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - Healing Wounds Meditation with Dr. Bob Schutchts on the Hallow App. You must subscribe to Hallow to listen!

Michelle’s one thing - The Every Sacred Sunday Mass Journal

Heather’s one thing - The Metanoia Series - Fr. Dave Pivonka, TOR and 4pm media

Other Books Mentioned -

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom - Henri Nouwen

Discussion questions:

  1. What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
  2. Where do you feel at war with your body and where do you feel at home in your body? How is God inviting you to see your body as a blessing rather than a burden?
  3. What beliefs about yourself have you felt inspired to renounce and repent of after today’s episode? What truth does Jesus desire to speak into your heart to fill this space.

Journal Questions:

  1. Have you cursed your body or believed the lie that your body is too much or not enough? Take a moment to practice repentance and ask God to speak his truth into your body.
  2. Can you imagine your body as a temple where the Holy Spirit is dwelling and what kind of temple does it look like? What is the Holy Spirit doing in this temple? Where is He illuminating? Where is He healing? Where's He moving?
  3. Are there areas brought up in the past few weeks that you would rather avoid than allow Jesus to redeem and restore? Take a moment to commit to moving through the cross towards the resurrection with trust that Christ desires your redemption.

Quotes to Ponder:

Because their shame was twofold

and disgrace was proclaimed their portion,

They will possess twofold in their own land;

everlasting joy shall be theirs.

Isaiah 61:7

Scripture for Lectio Divina - “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:14-21

This episode is sponsored by Every Sacred Sunday.

The Every Sacred Sunday Mass journal is designed to help you intentionally prepare and engage with the Mass each week. It contains the readings for each Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation for one liturgical year with a simple journaling template after each reading. Other features include thick quality paper, a durable hardbound cover, original illustrations, and key prayers of the Mass. This journal is lovingly & thoughtfully designed by hand, and we hope that it invites you to say yes to God, one Sunday at a time. Use the promo code abide5 for $5 off your next purchase! Available now on our website, www.everysacredsunday.com/shop.

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