S10 E05: Daughter Part 2: Seen, Known and Loved: The Core Needs of a Daughter

10/11/21 • 46 min

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In this episode, we continue our four part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now available on youtube: https://youtu.be/0TJKUIE1HOQ. We discuss the core needs of early childhood - to be seen, known and loved - and how this time is crucial in learning to trust and receive. We share our fears of being seen as needy or as a burden to others as well as what counterfeit needs are vs actual needs. We chat about the healing that we experience when we allow God the Father to love us in the places we didn’t receive what we needed as a child. Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - The life of our recently passed SOLT sister, Sister Maria of Merciful Love

Michelle’s one thing - The Sisters of Life and The Litany of Trust

Heather’s one thing - Restore the Glory Podcast Healing in Marriage Series

Other Books Mentioned - Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave you - James Friesen

Discussion questions:

What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
How have you felt seen, known and loved by God and others recently? In what areas of your heart and life do you still long to experience that?
What counterfeit needs (I need a break, I need to watch tv, etc.) do you often substitute for your real need (I need to be acknowledged, seen, loved)? How can you take time to pause and ask yourself what you truly need in particular moments throughout your day?
Do fears of rejection or being seen as ‘needy’ prevent you from expressing your needs and desires to those who want to love you? How can you better articulate your needs to your community, family, and God?
How is the fruit of joy abundant and fragrant in your life? If not, what is at the root of that?

Journal Questions:

Are there areas of your heart that you have shut down or relationships you have ‘canceled’ because someone did not meet your need to be seen, known and loved? How might God be asking you to give yourself or another person a new chance?
Take a moment to reflect on any memories or experiences from your childhood where you did not feel seen, known and loved. Invite God to restore and heal these moments and fill any gaps that may have been created.
Write down some practical ways you can notice, affirm and show greater love towards those who have been entrusted to you in your family and community.

Quotes to Ponder: “Your great trust in Me forces me to continuously grant you graces. You have great and incomprehensible rights over My Heart, for you are a daughter of complete trust." - Jesus to St. Faustina

Scripture for Lectio Divina - “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:14-21

This episode is sponsored by Corda Candles.

Connect with the saints through scent, with handcrafted CORDA candles. Each unique scent is directly inspired by saints and the faith, and custom blended in house. As you burn the candle and enjoy the custom scent, there’s a tangible, concrete connection to the holy men and women who have gone before us.Help support SOLT, Sr. Miriam’s order, by purchasing the Cloistered Heart candle, inspired by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity. Its contemplative notes of cherry and violet are fresh and clean. This exclusive candle was commissioned by the Abiding Together podcast and 15% is donated to SOLT. It’s available for a limited time only, now through November 30, 2021.There are many more candles to explore, including ones inspired by Our Lady of Guadalupe, St. Michael the Archangel, and Night Prayer. Shop online at

Sister Miriam’s one thing - The life of our recently passed SOLT sister, Sister Maria of Merciful Love

Michelle’s one thing - The Sisters of Life and The Litany of Trust

Heather’s one thing - Restore the Glory Podcast Healing in Marriage Series

Other Books Mentioned - Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave you - James Friesen

Discussion questions:

What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
How have you felt seen, known and loved by God and others recently? In what areas of your heart and life do you still long to experience that?
What counterfeit needs (I need a break, I need to watch tv, etc.) do you often substitute for your real need (I need to be acknowledged, seen, loved)? How can you take time to pause and ask yourself what you truly need in particular moments throughout your day?
Do fears of rejection or being seen as ‘needy’ prevent you from expressing your needs and desires to those who want to love you? How can you better articulate your needs to your community, family, and God?
How is the fruit of joy abundant and fragrant in your life? If not, what is at the root of that?

Journal Questions:

Are there areas of your heart that you have shut down or relationships you have ‘canceled’ because someone did not meet your need to be seen, known and loved? How might God be asking you to give yourself or another person a new chance?
Take a moment to reflect on any memories or experiences from your childhood where you did not feel seen, known and loved. Invite God to restore and heal these moments and fill any gaps that may have been created.
Write down some practical ways you can notice, affirm and show greater love towards those who have been entrusted to you in your family and community.

This episode is sponsored by Corda Candles.

Previous Episode

S10 E04: Daughter Part 1: Delight of the Trinity

In this episode, we begin a four-part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now offered in video on youtube! We speak about the building blocks of daughterhood: trusting the heart of God and receiving our identity from the Father. We discuss the foundational importance of believing we are beloved children even when there are parts of our humanity and frailty we do not love. We pray that you may behold the Father this week and allow him to behold you with delight! Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - Renew Face and Body Cream from Rooted for Good

Michelle’s one thing - the entire team at Spirit Juice Studios

Heather’s one thing - Be Formed Adult Faith Formation with Fr. Burke Masters through the Diocese of Joliet

Discussion questions:

What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
How have you received the identity of a daughter (or son) from the Father? What are some practical ways to stay rooted in the identity of daughter of God?
When the Lord looks at you and says, “you are my beloved daughter (son) with who I am well pleased”, what is your initial reaction? What would it look like to live this reality at the forefront everyday?
When have you experienced the Father delighting in you and what did that look like?
Does your mission (what you do) flow from your identity as daughter of God or do you tend to find your identity in the things you do?

Journal Questions:

Take a moment to picture your heart as a garden. Rather than digging through the dirt to find the roots of problems, imagine yourself playing in the dirt with the Father. With holy curiosity, ask what does the Father want to reveal to you about your identity as a beloved daughter?
Pray Sister Miriam’s prayer “Father, open my heart to the truth of who I am.” Listen for what the Father wants to say to you and write it down.
Write down some scriptures that help you stay rooted in the truth of who God says you are as a beloved daughter. You can google something like “scriptures about child of God” or “ scriptures about God’s love”.

Quotes to Ponder: “On first beholding created woman, man must surely have thought: “God gave you to me.” He said as much, though in different words—but he said as much (Gn 2:23). Awareness of gift and givenness is clearly written into the biblical Creation account. For man, woman is first an object of awe and wonder. “ - Saint Pope John Paul II, A Meditation on Givenness

This episode is sponsored by Rooted for Good.

Rooted for Good hand makes premium all natural products that feel amazing and work really well! Enhance your skincare experience with Rooted and join the growing number of satisfied customers across the US and beyond who are switching to Rooted and going all-natural. On top of the amazing benefits and affordable pricing, using Rooted products makes a difference for others as well. Every time you choose our all natural premium products 10% of your purchase goes to help someone in need in a developing country! From Coffee Exfoliators & Sugar Scrubs, to foaming Face Wash & luxurious Bath Salts, to Premium Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils and everything in between, make Rooted for Good your source for all natural healthy living. Rooted provides an option to choose all natural living that resonates with your Catholic values. See all of our amazing products and read the stories of the lives that are being blessed through Rooted purchases at

Next Episode

S10 E06: Daughter Part 3: Wounds of a Daughter

In this episode, we continue our four part series on the identity of daughter. This episode is now offered in video on youtube! We discuss wounds from our childhood - rejection, abandonment and a failure to feel safe - and the lasting effects these wounds can have in our adult relationships. We chat about loving our younger selves with compassion, so that we can receive God’s unconditional love today. We pray you would allow the Divine Healer to look on your wounds with compassion this week! Be sure to subscribe to the Abiding Together Podcast on YouTube to watch our video podcasts!

Sister Miriam’s one thing - Mama Heidland’s Seafood Gumbo Recipe

Michelle’s one thing - Sacred Rest by by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith

Heather’s one thing - Change the Way You Think: A Conversation with Louie Giglio, Jennie Allen and Craig Groeschel

Other Books Mentioned -

Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave you - James Friesen

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom - Henri Nouwen

Discussion questions:

What stood out to you from this week’s episode?
Are your childhood wounds healed places of glory or are they bandaged up, still hiding, and in need of Christ’s light?
How do you see core wounds from childhood - abandonment, rejection or a gap created because your heart did not feel safe - affecting your relationships today? Do you recognize any of the effects listed by Sister Miriam in the episode? How can you receive God’s restoration for you in these places?
What does it look like to welcome home the little parts of yourself with compassion and gentleness?

Journal Questions:

Are there particular memories from your childhood that this series has brought to the surface? Where do you need to hear the truth that the woundedness caused by others was not your fault?
Try to find a picture of your younger self. What would you like to share with her or him? Are there critical words and judgements you would like to take back or words of affirmation and compassion you need to speak over your younger self?
Pray with Jesus’ words ‘be not afraid.’ How does He desire for you to receive this message when acknowledging wounds from your childhood?

Quotes to Ponder: “You keep listening to those who seem to reject you. But they never speak about you. They speak about their own limitations. They confess their poverty in the face of your needs and desires. They simply ask for your compassion. They do not say that you are bad, ugly, or despicable. They say only that you are asking for something they cannot give and that they need to get some distance from you to survive emotionally. The sadness is that you perceive their necessary withdrawal as a rejection of you instead of as a call to return home and discover your true belovedness.” - Henri Nouwen

“A part of you was left behind very early in your life: the part that never felt completely received. It is full of fears. Meanwhile, you grew up with many survival skills. But you want yourself to be one. So you have to bring home the part of you that was left behind. That is not easy, because you have become quite a formidable person, and your fearful part does not know if it can safely dwell with you. Your grown-up self has to become very childlike—hospitable, gentle, and caring—so your anxious self can return and feel safe.” - Henri Nouwen

This episode is sponsored by House of Joppa.

This week’s episode is sponsored by House of Joppa. If you are looking for beautiful Catholic home décor, jewelry, art, rosaries or other Catholic gifts, look no farther than House of Joppa....