When Men Are Survivors: Redefining Domestic Abuse Beyond Gender Stereotypes
Explicit content warning
03/31/25 • 50 min
Every survivor deserves a voice—regardless of gender. When Michael witnessed his wife Victoria's domestic violence advocacy work up close for the first time, it sparked a raw, necessary conversation about who abuse affects and how cycles can be broken.
Victoria pulls back the curtain on her nearly two decades as an advocate, showing how she bridges the gap between survivors, law enforcement, and the court system. She explains the crucial first steps an advocate takes when approaching authorities: "I am not a threat to you, I am a domestic violence advocate." This inside look demystifies a process that many fear, potentially giving survivors the courage to seek the help they deserve.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Michael shares his own journey as a male survivor of emotional and financial abuse. "I would tell people, 'Oh, that's just the way she is' for years," he reveals, describing how he would "smile and laugh it off" while going home miserable. His vulnerability challenges the harmful stereotype that men can't be victims, showing fellow male survivors they aren't alone in their experiences.
Both hosts emphasize that breaking generational cycles is possible—and essential. "It is not fair to make our children spend their adulthood recovering from their childhood," Victoria states, as they discuss how conscious parenting choices can create homes free from the trauma they experienced. Their message is clear: whether you're seeking help or supporting someone who is, speaking up against abuse changes lives.
Ready to join the conversation about breaking cycles of abuse? Subscribe now and share your thoughts. If you're experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is, resources are available through our website—because everyone deserves a life free from abuse.
Every survivor deserves a voice—regardless of gender. When Michael witnessed his wife Victoria's domestic violence advocacy work up close for the first time, it sparked a raw, necessary conversation about who abuse affects and how cycles can be broken.
Victoria pulls back the curtain on her nearly two decades as an advocate, showing how she bridges the gap between survivors, law enforcement, and the court system. She explains the crucial first steps an advocate takes when approaching authorities: "I am not a threat to you, I am a domestic violence advocate." This inside look demystifies a process that many fear, potentially giving survivors the courage to seek the help they deserve.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Michael shares his own journey as a male survivor of emotional and financial abuse. "I would tell people, 'Oh, that's just the way she is' for years," he reveals, describing how he would "smile and laugh it off" while going home miserable. His vulnerability challenges the harmful stereotype that men can't be victims, showing fellow male survivors they aren't alone in their experiences.
Both hosts emphasize that breaking generational cycles is possible—and essential. "It is not fair to make our children spend their adulthood recovering from their childhood," Victoria states, as they discuss how conscious parenting choices can create homes free from the trauma they experienced. Their message is clear: whether you're seeking help or supporting someone who is, speaking up against abuse changes lives.
Ready to join the conversation about breaking cycles of abuse? Subscribe now and share your thoughts. If you're experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is, resources are available through our website—because everyone deserves a life free from abuse.
Previous Episode
Put Down Your Phone and Pick Up the Conversation
Heartfelt celebrations and serious conversations collide in this candid episode where we start by toasting Michael's first colonoscopy (yes, really!) and the clean bill of health that followed. It's a perfect reminder that sometimes the most uncomfortable moments become our greatest gifts to those we love - as Michael puts it, "I want to live longer for my family."
The energy shifts as we unveil our passion project: the Stucco Squad. This initiative for special needs children has consumed our hearts completely, with carefully crafted items from superhero bracelets that can be worn through medical procedures to "pocket hugs" for comfort during difficult moments. Drawing from Victoria's personal journey as both a special needs person and parent, every detail has been considered with extraordinary care. "Normal, ordinary - that's who wants it? Nobody does," Victoria shares, capturing the spirit behind this movement to celebrate what makes these children exceptional.
Our conversation takes a more serious turn as we discuss California legislation allowing minors to pursue gender reassignment surgery without parental consent - even permitting legal action against objecting parents. We wrestle with difficult questions about children's capacity for life-altering decisions, sharing perspectives that challenge conventional thinking while maintaining respect for everyone's journey.
Throughout it all runs a thread about genuine human connection in our increasingly digital world. We share how our family dinners remain sacred spaces without phones, where eye contact and conversation remind us what truly matters. "It's the happiness that I crave, it's the longing, it's the belonging," Michael reflects about these precious moments.
We'd love to hear your thoughts on any of these topics. Have you created tech-free family traditions? What do you think about the balance between protecting children and respecting their autonomy? Join our conversation and discover the power of unstoppable, unfiltered authenticity.
Next Episode
The Road to Healing is Paved with Self-Love and Setting Boundaries
Taking a deep breath becomes an act of revolution after escaping narcissistic abuse. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Faith and Dana step away from their usual format to share profound insights about life after abuse—and why that journey is worth every difficult step.
Faith arrives emotionally drained from six days of intense advocacy work, including a harrowing six-hour standoff, prompting a candid discussion about the toll of supporting those still trapped in toxic dynamics. Rather than dwelling in darkness, they pivot to the transformative healing possible once survivors cross to the other side of trauma.
Dana vulnerably shares how her 25-year marriage to a narcissist nearly killed her—literally. Her body deteriorated to 93 pounds, requiring constant oxygen supplementation as her organs began shutting down, with oxygen levels dangerously low at 83%. Yet within five years of freedom, her health dramatically improved, demonstrating the profound physical healing possible when removed from toxic environments.
The conversation weaves through practical strategies for reclaiming joy after abuse. From Faith's simple act of getting her nails done—a rare moment of self-care—to Dana's liberating realization that she could eat ice cream for dinner without following her ex's rigid rules, these small victories represent monumental steps in the healing journey. Their shared wisdom crystallizes into a powerful question survivors can ask themselves: "What do I want?" A question that feels revolutionary after years of putting everyone else first.
They tackle complex issues with compassion and occasional humor—discussing how childhood conditioning shapes adult behaviors, the physical manifestations of emotional abuse, and why leaving abusive situations is rarely simple. The conversation acknowledges the reality that narcissistic abuse affects entire families, with children's core beliefs about themselves largely formed by age seven.
Join Faith and Dana for this life-affirming reminder that peace, joy, and renewed health await on the other side of narcissistic relationships. If you're struggling, remember their parting message: "You are worth fighting for and you can get past all of this. You are not alone."
A Contagious Smile Podcast - When Men Are Survivors: Redefining Domestic Abuse Beyond Gender Stereotypes
Transcript
Good evening and welcome to another episode of A Contagious Smile , unstoppable . I am Victoria with my incredibly handsome , sexy , wonderful soulmate , michael Whatever Howdy y'all , I have to tell you that when I was talking earlier doing a kind of a meetup thing
Speaker 1for other podcast hosts Sorry , my husband's being very loud over there w
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