8 Bit Book Club

The club concludes their two week epic reading of a 60 page book for children. Murph defends his platonic love of critters, Emily recounts the time she bullied him for wearing a long sleeved Jack Skellington t-shirt, and Caldwell says "RoboDaddy" dozens of times.

The club picks up where they left off -- with zero lives, zero rings, and zero hope. Can their buff, beautiful hedgehog defeat Robotnik and save the Jungle Zone?

The club faces its greatest challenge yet: a book that is so true to Minecraft that it has almost no plot. Can the club mine goofs from that which has no goofs? Did we already lose you with that terrible pun?

By the Light of Bahamut, the Mario Brothers are revived and continue their losing run of Doors to Doom. The Kong Family makes several appearances, including a rampaging Donkey Kong Jr., and Libertarian Funky Kong.

The club takes on another Nintendo adventure book because they just don't know when to quit. Emily eats a slug of steak fat, Caldwell gets horny for puzzles, and Murph is saved by Bahamut's blessing.

The club watches two Christmas specials from 2013's Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures. Can Pacster and his X-TREME pals Cyli and Spiral stop the ghosts from gooing all over Pac-World and save Christmas-I-mean-Berry-Day!?

The club joins Sonic (and Tails!) on a deep dive into the jungle zone. Caldwell and Emily insist on maxing out Sonic's "Good Looks" and giving Tails the highest strength possible at the cost of their agility and speed. Can the famously speedy duo survive as slow, buff, beautiful dudes?

The club watches the Donkey Kong Country TV series holiday special from 1999. Emily compares the Kong Country holiday ceasefire between apes and lizards to World War I, Murph expresses his discomfort about how nude Funky Kong looks, and Caldwell complains that the show's animation isn't good to craft the "perfect ape ass."

The epic conclusion to another Nintendo adventure book! Can the club make it through the Doors to Doom unscathed? No. No, they can't.