372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

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It’s with wet eyes that we bid farewell to the land of wrongly timed barbecue, snippy and/or flirty waitresses, violent drug-pushing teacher/furniture store managers, open bathrobes, four star generals, evil interstates and very occasionally, some quilting.

In this episode, the shockingly violent yet cozy story of Bigelow Cozy Chamomile tea! Conor imitates a cat no fewer than four times and sings Van Morrison in the voice of Handsome Gabe. Mike hires the 372 Players at great cost but with tremendous results, and of course Dumb Sentences and some Listener Mail.

Now let’s bid goodbye to everyone by name.

So long, Miranda/ Mandy/ (Narrator)

Gabe (Her Fiance)

Kevin (Gabe’s son)

Terry (Kevin’s Fiance)

Zoey (Narrator’s daughter)

Barbara Franklin (zoey’s thesis advisor)

James Franklin (Barbara’s husband)

Michael (Zoey’s Fiance)

Edgar Pendleton (Hotel Manager, Kevin’s boss)

Rita Pendtleton (Kevin’s boss’s wife)

Jill (Terry’s college roommate)

Susan (Kevin’s Mother, Gabe’s Ex-Wife)

Richard (Susan’s new husband)

Dianne / Dee (Mandy’s BFF)

Harry (her cat)

Sylvia (Diner owner)

Ellie (employee at diner)

Charlie (Sylvia’s husband)

Devon

Lindsay

Ethan

Gwen

Mark Murphy (Diane’s patient reliable husband)

Christopher Abbot (Pastor)

Lucy (related to Adam, below)

Adam McKutcheon

Jeff

William

Janie

Trixie Belden (Author of mysteries)

Martin (drug dealer)

Jenny (his girlfriend)

Tom Gibbons (Gabe’s FBI friend)

The McMillan family, Peter,

Irene McMillan

and Macy McMillan.

James (Print shop worker)

Queenie (Quilting leader)

Brittany (quilting group)

John (Brittany’s husband)

Daniel Bartell (Queenies husband?)

Emily (Queenie’s daughter?)

Jack (Queenie’s son?)

Harriet Moore (Quilting group)

Sarah Moore (Harriet’s twin sister)

Shelby (a donut shop employee the twins take care of)

Judy Smythin (quilting group) (cousin of Taylor perryman?)

Tommy (Judy’s son?)

Jessie (Jud’s daughter?)

Julie Sorenson (Tommy Smythin’s girlfriend)

Taylor (goes w/Noelle below)

Noelle (unknown)

Max Ryan Sr. (unknown)

Lizzie (an employee at the Tavern?)

Smith (the drug dealer?)

Carmen Roselli (Rival drug dealer)

Betty Hiedel (Hospital receptionist)

Gloria (ER Worker)

Sami (hospital worker)

Archie { Jenny’s dad?}

Janet (Jenny’s mom)

Dr. Walker

Erma (friend of Sara Moore’s)

John Morton (the youngest Morton boy)

Jake Perryman, the late chief of police of Cutler

Taylor Perryman, widow of Jake

Taylor Perryman’s brother

Taylor Perryman’s adopted baby

Chief Jimmy Hayes

Ron Mitchell (patrolmen)

Joey Traxler (Patrolman)

John Gustafson (Gus, new Cutler cop)

Dominic DeAngelo (drug task force)

Jim Marshall (insurance agent)

Ellen Baker, the school superintendent

Mr. Jones “The Boss”

Baldie (someone in the drug ring, real name Kevin Hoiste)

Steve Kroft (parole officer for Max Ryan Jr)

Judge McCallister

Jeff Huntley

Max Ryan Jr Juvenile offender, works at an oil and lube joint.

Dan Mayers (writer at The Chronicle)

Penny Lehman (third victim)

Braxton Jonathan Bartlett (Brittany the Quilter’s son)

Sandy Tressler, mayor

Chris Walker Chief of Staff of the Community Hospital

Andy Perretta (PTSD victim)

Maria Perretta (andy’s wife)

The Perretta boy (no name)

Eve Grant (school principal)

Joe Herman (retired principal)

Vinnie Grath (wine shop owner)

Wilma Wilson (B&B owner in Canadensis)

Joshua (the twins’ brother)

barbara huntley (lucy’s mother)

reese hershey (Max Jr.s alias)

Butchie (bar owner)

Grace ?????????????????????????????????

We’ll miss each and every one of you!

Find out what our next book is going to be a week before everyone else! Join the 372 Patreon.

WOW! Really no words to describe the insane events in the final chapters of Edison’s Conquest of Mars, but we can attempt to sum it up with one syllable; Tom.

No Real or Fanfic here but as a bonus you’ll get Conor’s reimagining of this stone classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmShIyjJvg

Support the podcast on Patreon where they found out what this book is a week ago! patreon.com/372pages

In real time, Mike and Conor select their next book – and we guarantee it will be cozy! Select your hugest, fuzziest slippers (preferably cartoon-based), your giant cup of cocoa, we’re talking soup bowl sized with a handle on the side, and get a fire going, anywhere. Even if you don’t have a fireplace.

It’s cozy time!

If you don’t want to listen, you can find the book in paperback and on kindle (affiliate links)

ASSIGNMENT: Read thru Chapter 7

Help us pick the next book! We’ll be running a poll on the 372 Patreon: http://patreon.com/372pages

The Bark Squad wraps up Dodie Smith’s fever nightmare of a sequel in this final episode covering The Starlight Barking. Sirius the Dogstar visits, promising a lifetime of bliss in outer space. Unfortunately, some whiny mangey strays are all like “Uh, no, we like having owners who mistreat and starve us” and so Pongo is forced to make a decision on behalf of all dogdom. Also Missus “invents” the High Swoosh and we reach “closure” on what the hell was up with Cruella’s metal clothes. There may be a list of dog names at some point.

Thanks to everyone who took the journey with us, we can’t wait until Disney finally releases their animated version. As threatened, we’ll be back soon with a Patreon poll to pick the next book!

Yes, we talk about things other than Lanny. But we don’t want to!

You’ll all be thrilled to learn that Mike drained the budget to reunite the 372 Players, that Mike scores, um, pretty, pretty well on the Real or Fanfic challenge. There’s tons of Dumb Sentences and Conor dives to the dark web.

But let’s not bury the lead here (no, not lede, let’s not go there) there’s a mid-episode mishap that is nothing short of spectacular [we included it at the end of an exhaustive ep. Hint, Mike is still cleaning it up and it will be many more weeks].

Join us on Patreon, where our supporters have been basking in Lanny’s glow all week long sing they get early access to every episode! patreon.com/372pages

For next time read thru Chapter 13!