Chapter 109: Rebecca the Sex Educator on embracing erotic exploration
08/12/22 • 94 min
1 Listener
What is your erotic potential? And how might you ... increase it? Online erotica? Mindful masturbation? Solo nude mirror practices? The answer is all of the above and much, much more.
To help guide us through the erotic bramblebush (erotic bramblebush? erotic bramblebush!) we are very lucky to sit down with the wise and wonderful Rebecca S. Kay.
Rebecca is a Sex Educator with over ten years of experience. She's been a sexual advisor at Planned Parenthood, the Sexual Education Centre at the University of Toronto and the Brandon Centre in London, England. She has studied Surrogate Partner Therapy with UK based ICASA and is currently obtaining her certification in Somatic Sex Education and Sexological Bodywork through the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education.
Rebecca's mission is to break down sexual stigma and build up people's relationships with their bodies, sexualities, and each other. She is guided by the belief that pleasure is an essential element of this work and that nurturing intimacy takes courage and practice. Rebecca helps clients connect with their bodies and sharpen their skills through mindfulness, sexological bodywork, psychology, and neuroscience. She's at www.rebeccaskay.com and I recommend checking out her work and offerings.
With Rebecca's warmth, curiosity, and judgement-free guidance she creates such a rare and supportive open space to talk about sexuality. And yet! Despite this safe space creating ability ... I was, uh, extremely nervous. Extremely. As you'll hear. So it was growth for me and I hope it can be growth for you, too. Sexuality is so stigmatized and maybe this type of conversation helps us move a little bit down the path.
My wife Leslie also teaches sexual ed to seventh and eighth grade students and she (kindly!) joins for this conversation. So, here we go! Are you ready? Let's bravely jump into this wonderful conversation with Rebecca S. Kay.
Let’s flip the page into Chapter 109 now...
What You'll Learn:
- How should we teach young people about sex?
- Why is there still so much stigma around sex?
- What is planned parenthood?
- What is somatic sex education?
- What is erotic potential?
- What is the state of sex education today?
- Why is it so important to teach kids about body parts?
- How are we shaped by our first sexual experiences?
- How can we help kids explore their sexuality safely?
- What is the value of reading erotic writing?
- How can we use self compassion to love our bodies more?
- How do we reconcile the paradox of coupledom and erotic desire?
- How can we maintain eroticism in a long term committed relationship?
- What is the difference between love and desire?
- Why is eroticism in marriage fairly new as a concept?
- What’s the state of marriage today?
- Why are monogamy and non monogamy not binary?
- What is a peak erotic experience?
- What is mindful masturbation?
- What is a surrogate partner?
- What is sexological bodywork?
- What is the future of sex coaching?
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/109
Leave us a voicemail. Your message may be included in a future chapter: 1-833-READ-A-LOT.
Sign up to receive podcast updates here: https://www.3books.co/email-list
3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 22-year-long quest to uncover and discuss the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter discusses the 3 most formative books of an inspiring person. Sample guests include: Brené Brown, David Sedaris, Malcolm Gladwell, George Saunders, Angie Thomas, Daniels, Cheryl Strayed, Rich Roll, Soyoung the Variety Store Owner, Derek the Hype Man, Kevin the Bookseller, Vishwas the Uber Driver, Roxane Gay, David Mitchell, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, Mark Manson, Seth Godin, Judy Blume, and Quentin Tarantino. 3 Books is published on the lunar calendar with each of the 333 chapters dropped on the exact minute of every single full moon all the way up to April 26, 2040. 3 Books is an Apple "Best Of" award-winning show and is 100% non-profit with no ads, no sponsors, no commercials, and no interruptions....
What is your erotic potential? And how might you ... increase it? Online erotica? Mindful masturbation? Solo nude mirror practices? The answer is all of the above and much, much more.
To help guide us through the erotic bramblebush (erotic bramblebush? erotic bramblebush!) we are very lucky to sit down with the wise and wonderful Rebecca S. Kay.
Rebecca is a Sex Educator with over ten years of experience. She's been a sexual advisor at Planned Parenthood, the Sexual Education Centre at the University of Toronto and the Brandon Centre in London, England. She has studied Surrogate Partner Therapy with UK based ICASA and is currently obtaining her certification in Somatic Sex Education and Sexological Bodywork through the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education.
Rebecca's mission is to break down sexual stigma and build up people's relationships with their bodies, sexualities, and each other. She is guided by the belief that pleasure is an essential element of this work and that nurturing intimacy takes courage and practice. Rebecca helps clients connect with their bodies and sharpen their skills through mindfulness, sexological bodywork, psychology, and neuroscience. She's at www.rebeccaskay.com and I recommend checking out her work and offerings.
With Rebecca's warmth, curiosity, and judgement-free guidance she creates such a rare and supportive open space to talk about sexuality. And yet! Despite this safe space creating ability ... I was, uh, extremely nervous. Extremely. As you'll hear. So it was growth for me and I hope it can be growth for you, too. Sexuality is so stigmatized and maybe this type of conversation helps us move a little bit down the path.
My wife Leslie also teaches sexual ed to seventh and eighth grade students and she (kindly!) joins for this conversation. So, here we go! Are you ready? Let's bravely jump into this wonderful conversation with Rebecca S. Kay.
Let’s flip the page into Chapter 109 now...
What You'll Learn:
- How should we teach young people about sex?
- Why is there still so much stigma around sex?
- What is planned parenthood?
- What is somatic sex education?
- What is erotic potential?
- What is the state of sex education today?
- Why is it so important to teach kids about body parts?
- How are we shaped by our first sexual experiences?
- How can we help kids explore their sexuality safely?
- What is the value of reading erotic writing?
- How can we use self compassion to love our bodies more?
- How do we reconcile the paradox of coupledom and erotic desire?
- How can we maintain eroticism in a long term committed relationship?
- What is the difference between love and desire?
- Why is eroticism in marriage fairly new as a concept?
- What’s the state of marriage today?
- Why are monogamy and non monogamy not binary?
- What is a peak erotic experience?
- What is mindful masturbation?
- What is a surrogate partner?
- What is sexological bodywork?
- What is the future of sex coaching?
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/109
Leave us a voicemail. Your message may be included in a future chapter: 1-833-READ-A-LOT.
Sign up to receive podcast updates here: https://www.3books.co/email-list
3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 22-year-long quest to uncover and discuss the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter discusses the 3 most formative books of an inspiring person. Sample guests include: Brené Brown, David Sedaris, Malcolm Gladwell, George Saunders, Angie Thomas, Daniels, Cheryl Strayed, Rich Roll, Soyoung the Variety Store Owner, Derek the Hype Man, Kevin the Bookseller, Vishwas the Uber Driver, Roxane Gay, David Mitchell, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, Mark Manson, Seth Godin, Judy Blume, and Quentin Tarantino. 3 Books is published on the lunar calendar with each of the 333 chapters dropped on the exact minute of every single full moon all the way up to April 26, 2040. 3 Books is an Apple "Best Of" award-winning show and is 100% non-profit with no ads, no sponsors, no commercials, and no interruptions....
Previous Episode
Chapter 108: Mohsin Hamid on the pleasures of pages and the pulse of Pakistan
Mohsin Hamid is one of the greatest writers of this generation.
He was born in 1971 in Lahore, Pakistan before moving to California at age 3 while his dad did a doctorate at Stanford. At age 9, in 1980, he moved back to Pakistan and remained there until he was 18 when he came back to the US to go to Princeton. He graduated summa cum laude and studied under novelists Toni Morrison and Joyce Carol Oates.
Mohsin's first novel, Moth Smoke (2000), told the story of an ex-banker and heroin addict in contemporary Lahore. His second, The Reluctant Fundamentalist (2007), told the tale of a Pakistani man’s abandonment of his high-flying life in New York. (This was my first Mohsin Hamid book and I can't recommend it enough.) His third novel, How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia (2013), is my favorite -- it's a fascinating exploration of urbanization and global economic transformation ... wrapped in the guise of a self-help book ... written in the second person. An incredible feat. His fourth novel, Exit West (2017), his most popular, follows refugees escaping from their war-torn home through a chain of mysterious doors to foreign lands. And his fifth novel, The Last White Man, comes out on August 2, 2022 .... in just a few days.
Mohsin's books have been published in over 40 languages, sold millions of copies, been turned into movies, and been shortlisted for the Pen / Hemingway Prize and Man Booker Prize multiple times. He has been named one of the world’s 100 Leading Global Thinkers by Foreign Policy magazine and his writing regularly appears in, no big deal, The New York Times, The Guardian, The Financial Times, and the Paris Review.
Mohsin lives with his wife Zahra and their children in Lahore, Pakistan, where he joins us from today for our 3 Books conversation.
We discuss: the history of Pakistan and Lahore, storytelling as an antidote to nostalgia, transmuting fear into sadness, teaching children about death, what he learned from Toni Morrison as a teacher, the power of reading out loud, writing masterclass tips, Mohsin’s three most formative books, and much, much more.
Let’s flip the page into Chapter 108 now...
What You'll Learn:
- What is the history of Lahore?
- What are Lahoris like?
- What explains our need for nostalgia?
- What does storytelling allow us to do?
- What is it like to be a novelist?
- Why are self-help books oxymorons?
- Why is grappling with death so important?
- What are the ethical considerations of immortality?
- What is it like to have Toni Morrisson as a mentor?
- Why is it so important to read what we write out loud?
- How much should we edit our writing?
- Why is the search for truth so difficult in today’s world?
- How do you balance writing and a job?
- Why is engaging with the world so important for writers?
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/108
Leave us a voicemail. Your message may be included in a future chapter: 1-833-READ-A-LOT.
Sign up to receive podcast updates here: https://www.3books.co/email-list
3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 22-year-long quest to uncover and discuss the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter discusses the 3 most formative books of an inspiring person. Sample guests include: Brené Brown, David Sedaris, Malcolm Gladwell, George Saunders, Angie Thomas, Daniels, Cheryl Strayed, Rich Roll, Soyoung the Variety Store Owner, Derek the Hype Man, Kevin the Bookseller, Vishwas the Uber Driver, Roxane Gay, David Mitchell, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, Mark Manson, Seth Godin, Judy Blume, and Quentin Tarantino. 3 Books is published on the lunar calendar with each of the 333 chapters dropped on the exact minute of every single full moon all the way up to April 26, 2040....
Next Episode
Chapter 110: Kevin Kelly on quashing quandaries with curiosity and creativity
Kevin Kelly is a man of many titles.
Krista Tippett calls him a ‘philosopher technologist’, Tim Ferriss calls him ‘the world’s most interesting man’, and Stephen J. Dubner says simply, “If I was the Queen, I would want Kevin Kelly on my Privy Council.”
Kevin Kelly is the first person — ever! — to be hired online. When? 1983. For what job? A fascinating one! We’re going to talk about it. He dropped out of college after a year to spend ten years backpacking around Asia. (His photos have just been released in a wonderful paperweight-dwarfing book called Vanishing Asia.) In the same breath he might drop stories of spending time with the Amish just as easily as chatting with Google’s founders in the late 90s. His online home, kk.org, is a fountain of deeply insightful and wise blog posts, such as, 1000 True Fans and his annual bits of birthday advice (which are coming out as a book next year!)
Kevin also edited The Whole Earth Catalog, founded The Hacker’s Conference, and is Co-chair of the Board of the Long Now Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to encouraging long term thinking and which is, right now, building a clock in a mountain that will tick for 10,000 years.
See why titles don’t really work with Kevin? I mean, sure, he calls himself a ‘packager of ideas’ and the Internet may know him best as ‘Senior Maverick at Wired Magazine’ (which he cofounded in 1993.) But he’s also written a series of prophetic bestsellers including: What Technology Wants (2010) and The Inevitable (2016). That last book came out six years ago but it lays out the future of technology over the next thirty. Clear and clairvoyant, Kevin’s words helped me feel more positive about the omnipresent magnetic pull of technology we’re all breathing in today. I would recommend it especially if, like me, you’re occasionally prone to digging your heels in the dirt, throwing your smartphone out the window, and screaming “I don’t wanna!”
Kevin Kelly is a kind, wise, and optimistic finger-pointer. And, unlike most mystics, fortune tellers, and futurists, he’s got a long track record of being right.
We are very lucky to have Kevin Kelly join us on 3 Books.
Let’s flip the page into Chapter 110 now...
What You'll learn:
- What makes for a good podcast conversation?
- What are the different types of vacation?
- How might you plan a vacation to optimize learning?
- Why are books a long-term technology?
- What does technology want?
- How might AI change us?
- How do you define optimism?
- How is technology both the problem and the solution?
- How do we learn to think longer term?
- What are recursive loops and how do they help explain the world?
- Why should we strive to engage in infinite games for growth?
- Why is population a concern?
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/110
Leave us a voicemail. Your message may be included in a future chapter: 1-833-READ-A-LOT.
Sign up to receive podcast updates here: https://www.3books.co/email-list
3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 22-year-long quest to uncover and discuss the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter discusses the 3 most formative books of an inspiring person. Sample guests include: Brené Brown, David Sedaris, Malcolm Gladwell, George Saunders, Angie Thomas, Daniels, Cheryl Strayed, Rich Roll, Soyoung the Variety Store Owner, Derek the Hype Man, Kevin the Bookseller, Vishwas the Uber Driver, Roxane Gay, David Mitchell, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, Mark Manson, Seth Godin, Judy Blume, and Quentin Tarantino. 3 Books is published on the lunar calendar with each of the 333 chapters dropped on the exact minute of every single full moon all the way up to April 26, 2040. 3 Books is an Apple "Best Of" award-winning show and is 100% non-profit with no ads, no sponsors, no commercials, and no interruptions. 3 Books has 3 clubs including the End of the Podcast Club, the Cover to Cover Club, and the Secret Club, which operates entirely through the mail and is only accessible by calling 1-833-READ-A-LOT. Each chapt...
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