19 Nocturne Boulevard - The Gift of the Zombi by Julie Hoverson (with a wink and a nod to O. Henry) 19 Nocturne Boulevard's Reissue of the Week

The Gift of the Zombi by Julie Hoverson (with a wink and a nod to O. Henry) 19 Nocturne Boulevard's Reissue of the Week

12/08/22 • 35 min

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19 Nocturne Boulevard

Ben and Mia, young zombies in love, search for the perfect xmas present in a world of the walking dead.

Cast List

Mia - Brenda Dau Ben - Derek M. Koch of Mail Order Zombie Geek - Glen Hallstrom Tick - Frankenvox Chuck - Bob Noble Andy - Reynaud LeBoeuf Doris - Julie Hoverson Sheri - Crystal Thomson Ted - J. Spyder Isaacson Voicebox - Beverly Poole Fred & Bob - Big Anklevich & Rish Outfield of Dunesteef Audio Magazine Ben's Double - Danar Hoverson Mia's Double - Julie Hoverson

Other zombies: Al Aseoche, Jacquie Duckworth, Reynaud LeBoeuf, Jack Hosley, Sidney Williams, Glen Hallstrom, Bob Noble, Brian Weingartner, Ferguson and family, Robyn Keyes, Kim Poole, Michael Hudson.

Music by Jason Shaw (Audionautix.com) Show theme: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock

"What kind of a place is it? Why it's an apartment on the wrong side of town, can't you tell?"

********************************************************************************************

GIFT OF THE ZOMBI

Cast:

[Opening credits - Olivia]

Mia, zombie (20s) dating Ben

Ben, zombie (20s) dating Mia

Ted, zombie (30s), Mia's horny neighbor

Andy, henpecked zombie (40s)

Doris, Andy's wife (40s)

Geek, a broker (30s)

Sheri, a lovelorn friend (20s)

Tick, an unscrupulous intact (human, 30s)

Fred, a zombie (any)

Bob, another zombie (any)

Chuck, overseer zombie (any)

Voicebox - mechanical translator

ALL ZOMBIES (unless noted as exceptions, below) have dual vocal tracks - the "zombie-voice" track, which is unintelligible, but vaguely mirrors the normal voice and events, and the "mind voice" (sounds like a voiceover), which is how they sound to each other.

/n = normal"mind voice"

/z = "zombie voice"

There are places where we only hear the zoombie voice.

Exceptions:

DORIS has no "mind voice", just incoherent shrieks

GEEK only has a zombie voice, but he is clearly understandable, if still zombie-like

TICK is human, and has no zombie-voice.

NOTE: The zombie apocalypse has come and been dealt with more or less. Zombies might still attack humans, if they see them, but humans tend to live in the walled cities and have become somewhat mythological to the zombies outside.

Zombies still are self-aware, but they think and speak so very slowly that they are difficult for humans to understand. Conversely, to a zombie, humans seem to speak incredibly fast - almost incomprehensibly so. That's why humans developed the voicebox to take what they say and slow it down enough for a zombie to understand.

OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a crumbling apartment building, can't you tell?

MUSIC

SCENE 1. MIA'S APARTMENT

SOUND WIND-UP ALARM GOES OFF

SOUND FLIES IN THE B/G THROUGHOUT

MIA/Z [distant moan of awakening, which continues, sporadically, punctuating the narrative]

MIA/n I hate Mondays.

SOUND ALARM SLAPPED OFF TABLE, STOPS RINGING

SOUND STUMBLING FOOTSTEPS

MUSIC VAGUE WARPED CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYS SOMEWHERE

MIA/n It doesn’t help that it's two days til Christmas and I haven’t got Ben his present.

MIA/z [roar of anger]

SOUND SOMETHING CRASHES TO FLOOR, GLASS BREAKS.

MIA/N The holidays just bring out the worst in me.

SOUND DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE

MIA/N [sigh] Checking my stitches in the mirror - nice to see nothing weird happened in the night. I love the hot pink against my pale skin. [beat] I know I'm swimming against the tide, but I still like to look nice, even when no one else gives a hang. They're welcome to run around unwashed, in raggedy-ass clothes, just leaves more Prada for me.

SOUND SPRAY CAN PSSHT, FLIES STOP, TINY DROPPING NOISES

MIA/n A little spray - no water, that's just asking for mold - and I'm ready to face the day.

SOUND [under the next] SHAMBLING FOOTSTEPS OUT OF BATHROOM AGAIN, STRUGGLES FEET INTO SHOES, NOW SHAMBLING FEET ARE IN HEELS.

MIA/n Ben's gift is the big problem. I know what I want to get him, but it won't come cheap. There just aren't that many floating around out there.

MUSIC

SCENE 2. OUTSIDE

SOUND NO TRAFFIC. JUST BIRDS, SHAMBLING FOOTSTEPS, OR OCCASIONAL BREAKING THINGS.

SOUND STRUGGLE WITH OBJECTS, THINGS FALL AWAY

BEN/z [moans, fighting his way to his feet]

BEN/n [hungover sounding] Wow, what did I do last night?

BEN/z [shake head noise]

BEN/n Oh, crap - Mia'll be expecting me--

Ben and Mia, young zombies in love, search for the perfect xmas present in a world of the walking dead.

Cast List

Other zombies: Al Aseoche, Jacquie Duckworth, Reynaud LeBoeuf, Jack Hosley, Sidney Williams, Glen Hallstrom, Bob Noble, Brian Weingartner, Ferguson and family, Robyn Keyes, Kim Poole, Michael Hudson.

Music by Jason Shaw (Audionautix.com) Show theme: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock

"What kind of a place is it? Why it's an apartment on the wrong side of town, can't you tell?"

********************************************************************************************

GIFT OF THE ZOMBI

Cast:

[Opening credits - Olivia]

Mia, zombie (20s) dating Ben

Ben, zombie (20s) dating Mia

Ted, zombie (30s), Mia's horny neighbor

Andy, henpecked zombie (40s)

Doris, Andy's wife (40s)

Geek, a broker (30s)

Sheri, a lovelorn friend (20s)

Tick, an unscrupulous intact (human, 30s)

Fred, a zombie (any)

Bob, another zombie (any)

Chuck, overseer zombie (any)

Voicebox - mechanical translator

/n = normal"mind voice"

/z = "zombie voice"

There are places where we only hear the zoombie voice.

Exceptions:

DORIS has no "mind voice", just incoherent shrieks

GEEK only has a zombie voice, but he is clearly understandable, if still zombie-like

TICK is human, and has no zombie-voice.

OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a crumbling apartment building, can't you tell?

MUSIC

SCENE 1. MIA'S APARTMENT

SOUND WIND-UP ALARM GOES OFF

SOUND FLIES IN THE B/G THROUGHOUT

MIA/Z [distant moan of awakening, which continues, sporadically, punctuating the narrative]

MIA/n I hate Mondays.

SOUND ALARM SLAPPED OFF TABLE, STOPS RINGING

SOUND STUMBLING FOOTSTEPS

MUSIC VAGUE WARPED CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYS SOMEWHERE

MIA/n It doesn’t help that it's two days til Christmas and I haven’t got Ben his present.

MIA/z [roar of anger]

SOUND SOMETHING CRASHES TO FLOOR, GLASS BREAKS.

MIA/N The holidays just bring out the worst in me.

SOUND DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE

SOUND SPRAY CAN PSSHT, FLIES STOP, TINY DROPPING NOISES

MIA/n A little spray - no water, that's just asking for mold - and I'm ready to face the day.

SOUND [under the next] SHAMBLING FOOTSTEPS OUT OF BATHROOM AGAIN, STRUGGLES FEET INTO SHOES, NOW SHAMBLING FEET ARE IN HEELS.

MIA/n Ben's gift is the big problem. I know what I want to get him, but it won't come cheap. There just aren't that many floating around out there.

MUSIC

SCENE 2. OUTSIDE

SOUND NO TRAFFIC. JUST BIRDS, SHAMBLING FOOTSTEPS, OR OCCASIONAL BREAKING THINGS.

SOUND STRUGGLE WITH OBJECTS, THINGS FALL AWAY

BEN/z [moans, fighting his way to his feet]

BEN/n [hungover sounding] Wow, what did I do last night?

BEN/z [shake head noise]

BEN/n Oh, crap - Mia'll be expecting me--

Previous Episode

Quail Seed (adapted by Julie Hoverson from a story by Saki) 19 Nocturne Boulevard's Reissue of the Week!

(sorry i missed a couple of weeks - been crazy busy)

Quail Seed

A timely tale of marketing and social networking. [Saki was often way ahead of his time!]

Announcer - Jennifer Dixon Mr. Scarrick - John Lingard Jimmy - Will Watt Lucy - Tanja Milojevic [Lightning Bolt Theater] Boy - Reynaud LeBoeuf Man - Anthony D.P. Mann [Horror Etc.] Miss Fritten - Robyn Keyes Mrs. Greyes - Jennifer Dixon Mrs. Gordon - Judith Moore Gloria - Beverly Poole Other women - Julie Hoverson

Music by Kevin McLeod (Incompetech.com) Picture by lucias_clay, found with help from Bill Jones.

Quail Seed

Cast:

Announcer

Mr. Scarrick, shopkeeper

Jimmy, Assistant

Lucy, Jimmy's girl

Boy

Man/Beard

Miss Fritten

Mrs. Greyes

Mrs. Gordon

Miss Jones

Miss Smith

Gloria

Mrs. Lipping

SAKI OPENING

MUSIC

SOUND SHOP DOOR, BELL, FOOTSTEPS

LUCY Hello? Helloooo?

JIMMY [close] Morning, Lucy!

LUCY [startled gasp] Jimmy! There you are. Bit... empty in here, isn’t it?

JIMMY [heavy sigh] A bit.

LUCY But where are all the Christmas shoppers?

JIMMY Shh! Whatever you do, don't ask that in front of Mr. Scarrick. You'll quite set him off.

LUCY Oh!

JIMMY It's all right, he's out at the moment.

LUCY [impressed] He left you in charge?

JIMMY [heavy sigh, morose] Only in the certainty that there won't be a stampede on our services.

LUCY That bad, eh?

JIMMY Quite.

SOUND DOOR, BELL, FOOTSTEPS

Miss Smith Hello?

SOUND QUICK STEPS

JIMMY Yes? How may I assist you?

Miss Smith [nervous] Oh, I was -um- just looking for a railway timetable? I'm going up to the city-- [breaks off]

JIMMY Sorry. Clean out. Perhaps next week.

MISS Smith Ah. Thank you.

SOUND FOOTSTEPS, BELL DOOR

LUCY You might have made a sale!

JIMMY She just wanted to look.

LUCY You don't know that.

JIMMY [bitter admission] She's the fourth today. Everyone would rather take the train to town and shop in a big department store than [quoting] bother to take advantage of the convenience--

SOUND DOOR BELL

MISS Jones Hello?

JIMMY ...and that's five.

MUSIC

SOUND PUB

SCARRICK The outlook is not encouraging for us smaller businesses.

SOUND POURING DRINK

SCARRICK These big concerns are offering all sorts of attractions to the shopping public which we couldn't afford to imitate, even on a small scale--reading-rooms and play-rooms and gramophones and Heaven knows what.

BOY [normal, commiserating] People like shiny objects.

SCARRICK And they don't care to buy half a pound of sugar nowadays unless they can listen to Harry Lauder and have the latest Australian cricket scores ticked off before their eyes.

MAN Seems like quite a trip for sugar.

SCARRICK With the big Christmas stock we've got in we ought to keep half a dozen assistants hard at work, but as it is my nephew Jimmy and myself can pretty well attend to it ourselves. In fact, I've left him in charge. I've never done that before.

BOY I'm sure he'll be fine.

SCARRICK [drinks] It's a nice stock of goods, too. I could run it all off in a few weeks time, but there's no chance of that--not unless the London line was to get snowed up for a fortnight before Christmas.

MAN [musing] How you gonna keep them home on the farm?

MUSIC

SOUND SHOP DOOR, BELL

MRS. GREYES --so tedious, but there it is, and what else is one to do?

MISS FRITTEN We shall simply wait for the next--

SCARRICK May I help you ladies?

MRS. GREYES Oh! [evasive] Really, we just stopped in to see about --- about--

MISS FRITTEN Bootlaces.

MRS. GREYES Bootlaces! Yes! I've been in dire need of some--

SCARRICK [hearty] Of course. Over on the left wall, near the back.

MRS. GREYES Of course. [whispering] You knew he'd try and sell us something if we came in here! Bootlaces indeed. I already have more laces than boots!

MISS FRITTEN At least if we do make a purchase, they're small enough to carry when we go to--

MRS. GREYES Shh!

SCARRICK Finding everything?

MRS. GREYES Oh, yes. This is the best ... um... anchovy paste. Just what I was looking for.

MISS FRITTEN Just lovely!

SCARRICK Perhaps you ladies could help me. I was thinking of adding a little entertainment to the shop.

MRS. GREYES Oh?

SCARRICK I did have a sort of idea of engaging Miss Luffcombe to give recitations during afternoons; she made a great hit at the Post Office entertainment with her rendering of '...