Project Top Hat by Julie Hoverson (19 Nocturne Boulevard Reissue of the Week)

once more, we return to the world of zombies....

Written and produced by Julie Hoverson

Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson

[warning - foul language]

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Tammuz Corporation has barely settled back in as top producer of undead workforce, when something much worse comes out of R&D.

Cast List Fred - Leonard Streeper June - Melissa Bartell Dill - Mark Olson Chambers - Dave Marshall Dr. Plasmus - Kim Poole Landon Frost - Chris Barnes Pamela Frost - Julie Hoverson Doctor - James Sedgwick Nurse - Rachel Cavic Interviewer - Russell Gold

Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com Cover art by Julie Hoverson

INTERLUDES: Cricket - Reynaud LeBoeuf, Julie Hoverson, M. Siero Garcia, Katy Fontenot Courtroom - Carl Cubbedge, Tanja Milojevic Champion Chum - Katy Fontenot, Rachel Cavic, Reynaud LeBoeuf Save the Zombies - Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard New Year's Head Swaps - Justin Charles, Crystal Dennis Life Insurance - Joe Stofko Big Bob's - Richard Summers Lecturer - Robert Cudmore Classroom - Janny Hilverts, Katy Fontenot, Sirena Carroll, Mike Campbell, James Sedgwick, Julie Hoverson Zombie Show - Gareth Bowley Survivalists - Dave Fontenot, Matthew McLean "Working Stiff" - Chris Stockett Edna's Chum - M. Siero Garcia Scam - Rick Lewis Zombie Lib - Derek Koch Old Zombie Spice - Morgan Brown

"What kind of a place is it? Why it's a secret lab, deep in the Tammuz Corporation, can't you tell?"

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Project Top Hat

Cast:

[Opening credits - Olivia]

Landon Frost, TV show host

Pamela Frost, his wife

Fred and June

Doctor Plasmus, top researcher

Chambers - executive

Dill - less important executive

OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a Top Secret Lab, on the human side of the wall, in the world of zombies, can't you tell?

MUSIC

SOUND computer and lab noises

LANDON [on TV] I'm Landon Frost, and tonight on "the Z word," we'll take a behind the scenes look at how zombies are used in the manufacture of your dog's kibble.

FRED How can they feed zombies to dogs?

JUNE Ambulates make the food - prepare it. It's illegal to terminate them without "just cause."

FRED As opposed to "just cuz"? [laughs]

JUNE Hah. That's what "the Z word" is about - exposing the ways zombies are exploited.

LANDON [TV] You'll be watching this series throughout the holidays, and I'll be tucked up at home with my family.

JUNE He's always busy. Hardly ever gets to see them.

FRED Oh, boo-hoo. This Frost guy gets to fly all over the world, cussing on TV, and making zillions of dollars, and he wants sympathy?

JUNE Don't forget taking his shirt off... [chuckle] But he's also a romantic - always talking about how he misses his wife Pamela.

FRED So? He could retire.

JUNE Helping improve "life" for ambulates is like a crusade for him.

SOUND DOOR OPENS, CUTTING HER OFF

FRED [muttered exclamation] Oh shit!

SOUND CHAIR SQUEAK, SCRAMBLE

LANDON [TV] I'll be meeting my wife in secret at‐‐

SOUND SWITCH, TV OFF

DILL [coming in talking] We should be able to improve the bottom line.

CHAMBERS AND not expose Tammuz to any more... liability. We are just starting to get back to where we were before Mrs. Skray's...

DILL Unfortunate accident?

CHAMBERS [grim] Breakdown.

DILL Ah.

CHAMBERS I need your personal guarantee this won't come back to bite us in the butt.

DILL If it does, my butt will have your back.

CHAMBERS What?

DILL uh... nothing. Dr. Plasmus is expecting us.

CHAMBERS Plasmus? What kind of a name is that?

DILL Dunno. I only know results, and the good doctor facilitated the "crickets". Look what they've done to help us get back in good odor over the last 18 months.

CHAMBERS [favorably impressed] MMmm.

DILL And now - [announcing] Project Top Hat!

SOUND DOOR OPENS

SOUND MUSIC SCENE CHANGE

TV DUDE [ON TV] Do you ever have behavior problems with your ambulates?

ZOMBIE Grr.

OLD LADY [pleased] Cricket!

TV DUDE Do they sometimes seem to have a mind of their own?

ZOMBIE2 [weird noise]

MAN [smug] Cricket.

TV DUDE Would you ever have them in the house without it?

WOMAN Around my kids? Forget it!

KIDS Just CRICKET!

TV DUDE Yes, Cricket, the "behavioral reminder" Implant that reminds zombies to toe the line.

TV DUDE [quiet, rushed] Results may vary. Some side effects may occur. No guarantee of bodily safety is implied or express in the sale of this product. Not available in all areas. [up] Get Cricket today! Brought to you by your frien...